"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Flakiness Question

Jon55

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Ok, so I was chatting with this girl (We've been kind of seeing each other for a few weeks) and we were talking about how we really need to go do (insert activity/event) and so we both decided we wanted to do it tomorrow night.


Well, later that night she text's me "Im glad you came by :)" and I replied "Glad you invited me ;) See you tomorrow night?" and she said "quite possibly...". Now I've read it's important to live in your reality and not accept it when people are waffeling and acting like "eeehh I donno if I can blah blah im not sure about yadda yadda" when it comes to decisions on whether or not they can hang out or do whatever.

So I told her (because I wasn't sure what to say) "?? lol don't worry about it then i can always see you some other time" and she was like "we'll see...i would like to hang out again for sure". I went on to say "lol so that's a no what days are you free usually". she responded with "Never... (she does go to school 5 days a week and works) ...actually tomorrow night might work actually....ill text u tomorrow".


I feel like I could of handled that a lot better. I also don't really know how to say "If you can't make up you're mind then don't bother I'm gonna do something else tomorrow night instead" without sounding like a prick.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Obsidian

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how about "if you're not sure if you want to, just forget about it. I've got other stuff going on anyway"

this girl does sound like a *****
 

Jon55

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Obsidian said:
how about "if you're not sure if you want to, just forget about it. I've got other stuff going on anyway"

this girl does sound like a *****
Yeah, she's usually a really vibrant fun and sweet girl when we're hanging out so it's either that time of the month, or maybe it's a test, hell I donno. I do have other prospects though so I'm not really worried about it.
 

Jon55

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snorida44x said:
I've told a lot of people on here this. I find it best to tell the girl from the very beginning after you get her phone number to tell her that you find flaking unacceptable, and if there's one thing that could ruin our friendship fast, it's flakiness. Tell her that your always where you say your going to be and are on time, and don't have an excuse or don't show up.

Part of me thinks saying that sounds kind of *******-ish but I have a feeling it's some part of the wussy inside me that's feeling it (which I've been working hard at killing off).

I'll keep this in mind next time Im confronted with this situation.
 
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