Flakes and Oneitis

[Siragoos]

I'm still learning the game, but I'm improving a lot. As such, I'm running into problems at "later" stages in the game than I used to.

One such problem I'm having a hard time dealing with right now is that I get oneitis for chicks who flake.

I'm talking about women who I've already met up with. It's usually women where things are progressing/escalating or feel like they are going well and wouldn't expect them to flake.

This sends me in a downward spiral. A lot of confidence I've gained over the last few months disappears and I start that horrible AFC process of overanalyzing.

I never respond to the flakes, but it still messes me up and my inner game.

For women I hadn't met up with yet or have no interest in or know it's busted, I don't care. But for woman where it seemed like I was having success with-- it really ****s me up.

I'm not asking how to deal with flakes, but rather how to deal with this oneitis problem I keep having.

 

[Siragoos]

you need to start accepting that you might just have to get turned down by a thousand beautiful girls that you think just might be your type before you hit it off with ONE.

and thats ok because any time you think you find a girl thats a good match for you, there is always tons more out there that are better.

Thanks, I need to hear that. It sucks when you think they're a good match and they flake. But I keep telling myself they should be the ones disappointed that they're missing out, not me.

 

[TheGambino]

Siragoos I feel you man.

Same goes for me, the girls that want to hook up with me all the time don't keep my mind occupied, they don't come up in my thoughts at all until they reach out to me again, I just answer or go along for the date and take risks if I feel like it coz I don't care wheter she stays around or blows me off, kino, kiss make jokes and be on top of my game.

Yet the girls that show all good signs but flake are the girls that stay on my mind forever. The problem is, they give you all good signs, string you along, you feel like you have her and again create that tought in your head that you both go out have fun, holding hands all that stuff and you get in that ''love'' thought that she is what you need and you are what she needs. This is where the whole oneitis crap begins.

Bro clear your mind, see it as a game, preach what's thought here, don't think there is the ''one'' invest in all girls the same way broski, wake up.

Girls love attention, attention is what they want even if theyr not interested in you they still want your attention and validation.

On flaking: You gotta also see it the other way. If a chick you are not attracted to will talk to you: you will reply and check what shes all about and test her out but when she says something weird you'll go ghost or remove her number or so. You'll next a girl you don't like way faster. We just don't waste our time as men to set up a date to flake again. A girl does that coz she isn't sure wheter she wants to date you or not or wheter shes ready for it. She can't make up her mind about you and also a girl doesn't want to crush your feelings but still wants your attention. That's why they go along with it but at the point of date time they flake coz they realize I'm going to see him very soon, he probably is going to try to seduce me I gotta make up something coz she isn't interested in a romantic affair with you.

If a nice blonde or latin girl with a nice butt says something weird or you don't like you'll just shake it off and go further with your game and meet up anyway. You just don't care if shes on some bullsh*T. Same works for girls to some point. If she isn't interested she will blow you off the moment you say something she doesn't like.

I would advice you to accept ''flaking behaviour". It's what you get with the dating game. Don't get emotionally invested, and spin plates all the time, and rule number 1: Judge a girl on her actions never on her words

 

[Siragoos]

Siragoos I feel you man.

Same goes for me, the girls that want to hook up with me all the time don't keep my mind occupied, they don't come up in my thoughts at all until they reach out to me again, I just answer or go along for the date and take risks if I feel like it coz I don't care wheter she stays around or blows me off, kino, kiss make jokes and be on top of my game.

Yet the girls that show all good signs but flake are the girls that stay on my mind forever. The problem is, they give you all good signs, string you along, you feel like you have her and again create that tought in your head that you both go out have fun, holding hands all that stuff and you get in that ''love'' thought that she is what you need and you are what she needs. This is where the whole oneitis crap begins.

Bro clear your mind, see it as a game, preach what's thought here, don't think there is the ''one'' invest in all girls the same way broski, wake up.

Girls love attention, attention is what they want even if theyr not interested in you they still want your attention and validation.

On flaking: You gotta also see it the other way. If a chick you are not attracted to will talk to you: you will reply and check what shes all about and test her out but when she says something weird you'll go ghost or remove her number or so. You'll next a girl you don't like way faster. We just don't waste our time as men to set up a date to flake again. A girl does that coz she isn't sure wheter she wants to date you or not or wheter shes ready for it. She can't make up her mind about you and also a girl doesn't want to crush your feelings but still wants your attention. That's why they go along with it but at the point of date time they flake coz they realize I'm going to see him very soon, he probably is going to try to seduce me I gotta make up something coz she isn't interested in a romantic affair with you.

If a nice blonde or latin girl with a nice butt says something weird or you don't like you'll just shake it off and go further with your game and meet up anyway. You just don't care if shes on some bullsh*T. Same works for girls to some point. If she isn't interested she will blow you off the moment you say something she doesn't like.

I would advice you to accept ''flaking behaviour". It's what you get with the dating game. Don't get emotionally invested, and spin plates all the time, and rule number 1: Judge a girl on her actions never on her words

Dude, it's like you can read my mind. That's exactly how I feel and want to see things.

The biggest problem is the oneitis analyzing that goes on. You think about all your mistakes, et. (even though one of the things that has helped me the most is realizing I don't have to be perfect to get the girl) and I think about what I could've done, etc.

And the whole part where the girl realizes you are going to try to seduce her if you meet up....it almost makes me feel like I want to go back to my old AFC ways and "pretend" to be her friend. Even though doing so always made me feel like I was just her girlfriend.

But I take comfort in the fact that if I make my intentions known, if she flakes, then at least I don't waste time with her. Like I have in the past by pretending to be their friend for months/years and getting nothing in the end.

 

[TheGambino]

Dude, it's like you can read my mind. That's exactly how I feel and want to see things.

The biggest problem is the oneitis analyzing that goes on. You think about all your mistakes, et. (even though one of the things that has helped me the most is realizing I don't have to be perfect to get the girl) and I think about what I could've done, etc.

And the whole part where the girl realizes you are going to try to seduce her if you meet up....it almost makes me feel like I want to go back to my old AFC ways and "pretend" to be her friend. Even though doing so always made me feel like I was just her girlfriend.

But I take comfort in the fact that if I make my intentions known, if she flakes, then at least I don't waste time with her. Like I have in the past by pretending to be their friend for months/years and getting nothing in the end.

That's the key. You see in yourself that you like what you can't have. And it's hard to seduce a girl yet show her that she can't have you or that she has to work for you.

So what your saying is that when you acted like a wuss and was her ''girl'' friend you could hook up with them. Ye of course they knew you wouldn't try something coz you were to much of a ***** to do it. I've been there too man, but what you're doing right know is great. Coz you touch her, you go for a date and you make your intentions clear that you want to f*ck her (by touching, kino, flirting) you will know very soon if she wants that or not. Don't be desperate that you want to act like a friend to get her out. Nahh man keep doing what you doing but improve yourself also.

You have to get to that point that your the price, that you love yourself to the fullest. You just approach a girl with so much comfort that she sees that your the price. You give her the best DJ skills you got then you back off and let her chase you. You rock her world then back off again. Push/Pull her until she almost beggs for your attention and you give it sparingly away. You can be nice, laugh, make jokes, tease her, when you feel that she loves the moment, that her eyes are big and you made a great move, wheter it's a compliment, your having fun or laughing you just end it. So when your approaching and having fun, at that point you tell her I got to run now why dont you give me your number so we can get in touch.

To be that price you have to love yourself, love your life, do things that make you happy.

After my ex LJBF'ed me I got in a spiral of chasing girls all the way, it doesn't work like that, yet I applied DJ skills and was all sexual and preventing friendzone always I was too needy, so kill that desperation also it kills your game.

You have to put effort in it, go to the gym, eat clean, wear stylish clothes, invest in yourself and be confident and happy about yourself, girls will notice that you are the price and don't need them. At that point you can be a happy nice teasing guy that approached them wants to hook up to have some fun and dissapear again.

Not that needy guy that calls and chases them and does all weird things to get her out.

You understand the point that I try to make? Push it to the limit, improve yourself maximal and love what you do, read the dj bible and don't fall for the traps. If you wanna test her true interest level? Make a move, kino, number close, kiss or arrange a date and then you'll see whatsup '

Flakes, mixed signals all signs of low interest to none.