"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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flake?

GrandMaster

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hi.
set up a meeting with a girl yesterday for a meeting in 4 days. today she cancels the date per txt message, claiming a friend of hers having a birthday party which she has to attend.

she had suggested this time before, and I had told her I had to see if I was able to come, but that we should fix it and that I would call her if it didn't work out.

I know you guys can't know for sure if its a flake or not, but what is your general impression? I thought flakes where more like 15min before the date or something, but she told me 3 days before, which is quite nice of her, actually. but she didn't offer an alternative.

flake or not?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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DonJuanMonk

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Could be a flake, dunno - try setting up another meet with her a week later.
 

GrandMaster

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Originally posted by DonJuanMonk
Could be a flake, dunno - try setting up another meet with her a week later.
how about I tell her

"I think your friend will have to wait a little longer for you. I'll see you at 2.00"

??

can this come off to aggressive or jerklike?

would it be afc to just accept her canceling?
 

basbhat

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I wouldn't reply with that if it was me. I would just relax, and take Don Juan Monk's advice.

I think you would be responding in this manner b/c you want to "right" this situation. You don't need to show her that you need to be respected by telling her something like this.

Almost the same thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago. She flaked, I went back to my life, waited a week, set up another date and went out with her....If your really offended, just forget her. I did this and the girl tried to set something up with me, so....just do your thing, don't overthink the strategy! peace
 

GrandMaster

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Originally posted by basbhat
I wouldn't reply with that if it was me. I would just relax, and take Don Juan Monk's advice.

I think you would be responding in this manner b/c you want to "right" this situation. You don't need to show her that you need to be respected by telling her something like this.

Almost the same thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago. She flaked, I went back to my life, waited a week, set up another date and went out with her....If your really offended, just forget her. I did this and the girl tried to set something up with me, so....just do your thing, don't overthink the strategy! peace
thanks for the advice. and if she doesn't call within the next few days, should I call her again? I will of course pretend that nothing happened and that I was busy too, on that day. Ok, I mean if I don't call and she doesn't call, then it's not gonna be anything, so I better call, but still I don't like the idea too much. i mean ok the birthdayparty of her friend, ok ok it's possible, but doesn't that sound just like the cheapest excuse? but she had been the one suggesting that we meet! so it might be true. aaaaaaaaargh
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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