Flake

[SHChamp]

So, I met this girl about two weeks back. The attraction is there, I've played my cards right and all that.

Last monday, I asked her out on a date for today, she agreed and seemed quite excited about it. (It's basically a class for Bachata, which I was planning to go to anyway, but asked her to come along.) And yes, I made it quite obvious that this is a date, and that if she was fun enough, we'd have drink afterwards.

Of course, I already at that moment expected that flaking could be an outcome, so I have made backup plans.

Question is, how do I respond to this flaky behavior?

She told me this morning;

Hey, I just woke up incredibly sick. I hope I feel better by tonight, else I can't come to the class. Are there more lessons, maybe we can go another week?

Do I just go like "No problem, get well soon." and then cut off contact for a couple of weeks pursuing other plates, or do I neg and tease her about it and make new plans with her? Quite confused on this part.

Thanks a lot guys, I appreciate the feedback!

 

[nismo-4]

I wouldn't hold my breath here.

I normally would use the Channing Tatum maxim here, but your best bet is to ignore her and see if she actually comes around. Saying no problem is approving her flaking. I'd say that's fine, I have other options. If you just have to say something. Or say gay if you want to blow her off.

Just pursue other women. This sounds like a bulls**t excuse to not go out with you.

Case closed.

 

[pyros]

I would just text her:
me: "ok, get better. We can go X day too."

Considering how flakey and retarded women are nowadays, I do not really believe her excuse, but you can reply what I suggested, and see if she does want to meet another day.

Do not pursue her, just see if she shows some interest, although I sense she doesn't have much.

P.S.

For future dates with other girls, do not take them to a dance class again. Why? because if you do, you do not really know if they're going cause they want to learn some steps, or if it is because they like you.

How to know? just go to grab a drink, icecream ,coffee etc. This way if she agrees you know she likes you.

 

[SHChamp]

Thanks for taking the time to give advice guys.
I'm just gonna say, it's fine, get better and leave it at that. If her interest level is that low, I'm not going to waste my time and energy into her. Plenty of other prospects around for me thanks to everything I've learned and absorbed from Sosuave and all you guys.

Even though she might turn around, this bull**** excuse pretty much killed my own interest in her.

 

[Konada]

I would apply a 2 strike rule personally because **** happens sometime. Like today I had to cancel on a date today because I came down with a very bad flu bug. Sometimes it might be legit rather than BS, I feel a 2-strike rule allows you to see through whats BS or not without spending too much time on it. Hit her up next week, if she declines or gives excuses again drop her.

While some might bash me saying if a girl's interested she'll call you next week/reschedule (which in this case she attempted to - benefit of the doubt). I prefer to be in control

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Yeah... I'm gonna bank on this being an excuse. Something else probably came up that sounded more exciting, and since she hasn't gone out with you before it's no problem for her to flake on those plans since there's not a high emotional investment there yet. Furthermore, you made the mistake of asking to take her out on your first date on a Saturday - a no-no when you first start dating someone. Fridays and Saturdays are considered "relationship date nights," so by asking her out on these two days, you're making her feel, psychologically, as if you already see her as a serious girlfriend, which she has yet to be. Unless a girl has one of those schedules where she's busy during her weeknights (i.e. a nurse that goes in for the late shift), keep your date request days to Sunday thru Thursdays in the beginning, so as not to make her think that things are more serious in the beginning than they really are.

 

[SHChamp]

It's actually Sunday where I am from right now, but I do understand your point.
Never really viewed it like that before, however i will definitely keep that in mind next time. Thank you everyone, I know how to handle this now.

P. S: she replied by saying 'thanks boy xx' for some reason this bothers me, or I'm reading too much into it.

 

[SHChamp]

Anyone knows what I should make of that reply? Not sure why, but it's bothering me. If I'm just displaying AFC behavior by that, just tell me straight up.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Use the "2-strike" rule. Meaning: you give a girl 2 chances to flake on you, just so your brain can really GET that she's not interested. She already gave you an excuse about flaking the first time - that's strike 1. Wait 4 to 7 days, then call her up (don't text) and ask her out again - "Hey so and so, there's this restaurant/movie/thing happening I wanna go to, and I'd love to take you. I'm free on Tuesday and Thursday, which day works best for you?" She'll either (a) choose a day and go with you (possibly interested); (b) not choose either of those days but give a counter-offer of a concrete day that WOULD work (possibly interested); (c) agree to the date, but then flake the day of (not super interested); or (d) give you an excuse as to why she can't make those days listed and also no counter-offer for a day that would work for her (not interested at all). From there, you'll know whether to continue asking her out or moving on to the next. Hope this helps!