Flake on date & reschedule offer

[Bigpapa]

so a girl flaked on the date with 1 day before the date by saying that she has to work the weekend as she is going in Holliday middle next week , and then said that if we can reschedule it .

I told her casually that most likely we will have To leave it for January , as now it will be kinda a busy period with new year , Christmas etc .

the funny thing about this is her excuse , that she has to work the weekend . For some reason I just think that is a super big lie , never heard anyone working the weekend before Christmas

to be frank , when I see this kind of things , in my mind is that she is not ltr material and that I have to keep her as a fwb ,which means minimum energy spent from my end

 

[r4zorsharp]

so a girl flaked on the date with 1 day before the date by saying that she has to work the weekend as she is going in Holliday middle next week , and then said that if we can reschedule it .

I told her casually that most likely we will have To leave it for January , as now it will be kinda a busy period with new year , Christmas etc .

the funny thing about this is her excuse , that she has to work the weekend . For some reason I just think that is a super big lie , never heard anyone working the weekend before Christmas

to be frank , when I see this kind of things , in my mind is that she is not ltr material and that I have to keep her as a fwb ,which means minimum energy spent from my end

Well without overthinking it, you can think about what she might mean by saying that she has to work the weekend? Simply put, she's going to be busy. Whether she has plans, she actually has to work (yes people work on weekends, before Christmas, before any holiday, doesnt matter)

Most girls will AUTOMATICALLY always cancel the 1st time. There's multiple reasons why a woman might do thiis but here are the top 3:
1) shes putting it off due to not wanting to think too much about it right now, slight anxiety abou meeting soon
2) She is testing yout o see how you react to her cancelling, this tells her how much ur willing to try, and if u really want to meet her or not
3) she is genuinely busy and would much rather do this at a later time
4) you're not on her list of priorities. and that can be a great sign because a woman with alot going on in her life won't prioritize these kinds of things, while loser bit.ches can't wait to hang.
5) She's playing the game. Trying to create more desire by cancelling the first time, because seh knows how it feels to be cancelled on and want to hang out with someone even more now that it seems their harder to get

 

[Bigpapa]

Very well put @r4zorsharp .

the thing with this is that we planned for it like 2-3 days ago , so more or less then it was no problem with her having to work the weekend before Christmas .

having to play this game and stuff like that , it just makes me rather plunge in the market and find something that I really like

 

[retardedautist2020]

Next her. Put your time and efforts in another girl.

 

[r4zorsharp]

Very well put @r4zorsharp .

the thing with this is that we planned for it like 2-3 days ago , so more or less then it was no problem with her having to work the weekend before Christmas .

having to play this game and stuff like that , it just makes me rather plunge in the market and find something that I really like

Don't plunge in the market man. Create more options. I hate to sound cliche but theres maybe 3-4 billion women in this world. Create a bunch of options and have a fulfilling life. Women are not everything man. Women for me are low on my list of priorities these days. I have girls that I could be hanging out with any given weekend but I don't even bother because I rather focus on myself and get more done until the right women come along that really catch my interest.

 

[darksprezzatura]

When a girl flakes, SHE should offer the time or date to reschedule to make up for it.

Flake again, I block.

Imo, ghost her.

Stop wasting your time.

Setup new dates.

If she comes crawling back later, let her chase a month while you smash hotter ones.

#opportunitylost

 

[Igetit!]

so a girl flaked on the date with 1 day before the date by saying that she has to work the weekend as she is going in Holliday middle next week , and then said that if we can reschedule it .

the funny thing about this is her excuse , that she has to work the weekend . For some reason I just think that is a super big lie , never heard anyone working the weekend before Christmas

You know,one of these days...........we guys are going to have to stop thinking that women are always "out to get us".

Sir look........WHY do you think this chick lied to you? What for? You seem to be on edge for literally no good reason.

For one,although you used the word "flake"....she didn't actually flake on you....she CANCELLED. It's not like you two had plans to meet somewhere,you showed up,she didn't,and you were left wondering what happened. She actually had the decency to contact you a day ahead of time and let you know she wouldn't be able to make it.

Secondly,her so called "excuse" made sense. You say you've never heard of someone working the weekend before Christmas.

Umm.....you do know that Christmas is on a Friday this year...correct? That means the weekend before is SIX DAYS before Christmas. That's not out of line....I bet millions of people are working THIS weekend....I am.

Also,she said she has to work this weekend because she's going on holiday in the middle of the week next week. It'd appear to me that she's working this weekend SO SHE CAN TAKE HOLIDAY in the middle of the week. In other words,if she took this weekend off,she'd have to work Wednesday and Thursday. So she decided to go ahead and work so she can take the 23rd and 24th off,leading right into Christmas. I'm sorry......but that makes sense to me. And here people are....telling you to next the girl.

to be frank , when I see this kind of things , in my mind is that she is not ltr material and that I have to keep her as a fwb ,which means minimum energy spent from my end

Oh geez. So because she decided to work this weekend......so she can be off the Wednesday and Thursday before Friday,the 25th,she's not "relationship material". Man......

12 and a half years I've been here at this forum.......and just when I think I've seen it all.

 

[TheVirtualMind]

You know,one of these days...........we guys are going to have to stop thinking that women are always "out to get us".

Sir look........WHY do you think this chick lied to you? What for? You seem to be on edge for literally no good reason.

For one,although you used the word "flake"....she didn't actually flake on you....she CANCELLED. It's not like you two had plans to meet somewhere,you showed up,she didn't,and you were left wondering what happened. She actually had the decency to contact you a day ahead of time and let you know she wouldn't be able to make it.

Secondly,her so called "excuse" made sense. You say you've never heard of someone working the weekend before Christmas.

Umm.....you do know that Christmas is on a Friday this year...correct? That means the weekend before is SIX DAYS before Christmas. That's not out of line....I bet millions of people are working THIS weekend....I am.

Also,she said she has to work this weekend because she's going on holiday in the middle of the week next week. It'd appear to me that she's working this weekend SO SHE CAN TAKE HOLIDAY in the middle of the week. In other words,if she took this weekend off,she'd have to work Wednesday and Thursday. So she decided to go ahead and work so she can take the 23rd and 24th off,leading right into Christmas. I'm sorry......but that makes sense to me. And here people are....telling you to next the girl.



Oh geez. So because she decided to work this weekend......so she can be off the Wednesday and Thursday before Friday,the 25th,she's not "relationship material". Man......

12 and a half years I've been here at this forum.......and just when I think I've seen it all.

Yougetit!

 

[Tilex]

5) She's playing the game. Trying to create more desire by cancelling the first time, because seh knows how it feels to be cancelled on and want to hang out with someone even more now that it seems their harder to get

Not sure if I agree with #5
How can desire be created again if the desire vanished?
What if he met her online? Would she assume his desire is still high based on pictures alone?
I'm not talking about Instagram either.

I see the entire dating market as supply & demand.
Let's say she's a retail outlet and you made a reservation to pick up a product from that store on a specific date. But the store calls you a day earlier to let you know the product has sold out. Why would you go to the same store again knowing that the product is not there?
You can easily find that product at another store. The desire to go back to the first store has already vanished.
Would the store assume you wouldn't be able to find that product anywhere else?

Does this make sense?

 

[r4zorsharp]

Not sure if I agree with #5
How can desire be created again if the desire vanished?
What if he met her online? Would she assume his desire is still high based on pictures alone?
I'm not talking about Instagram either.

I see the entire dating market as supply & demand.
Let's say she's a retail outlet and you made a reservation to pick up a product from that store on a specific date. But the store calls you a day earlier to let you know the product has sold out. Why would you go to the same store again knowing that the product is not there?
You can easily find that product at another store. The desire to go back to the first store has already vanished.
Would the store assume you wouldn't be able to find that product anywhere else?

Does this make sense?

To answer your questions, for some men its scarcity. And it also ties in to a woman testing to see how much you really want her or whether you'll give up on a simple cancelling of plans, or get frustrated, showing that you are an angry type, something girls will definitely want to avoid, as a girl always has that underlying feeling of being attacked by a man, raped or stalked as they cannot defend themselves the same as men.

A woman doesn't care if you will leave her life unless you seem completely Amazing before the initial date, which is rare, unless the girl is superficial or idealizing you.

The reason I included #5 there was becuase I noticed that it happens. However, as men we know it doesn't make us feel good. However, it does cause an emotional reaction . Some weird women think that its a way to build desire. Like I said, usually because women feel differently, and if they were really adamant about going on a date with somene they liked, and that person cancelled on them, they know just how they felt, and often that they felt they wanted or needed to try harder to get this person. Thus they reflect that on us.

Another thing women do in a group setting is to ignore the guy who thy like, and give everyone else attention. Guys in our mind we think they DONT like us when they do that, which makes it all more confusing. But see, women are just doing things that they think works, because its stuff that worked on them. However when it happened to them, the guy awsnt doing it consciously.. as we dont usually. its women who use these type of tactics consciously.

 

[jaymbrs]

So did she not know in advance that she was working the weekend? Hmm not buying that. I'd say she's BSing.

 

[SW15]

She probably flaked due to low interest level. Work is probably the convenient excuse. This will probably die out. The holidays tend to kill weaker relationships.

 

[BadBoy89]

You know,one of these days...........we guys are going to have to stop thinking that women are always "out to get us".

I wouldn't say women are "out to get men".

I would say women don't care if a man they are dating is dead or alive.

 

[Bigpapa]

You know,one of these days...........we guys are going to have to stop thinking that women are always "out to get us".

Sir look........WHY do you think this chick lied to you? What for? You seem to be on edge for literally no good reason.

For one,although you used the word "flake"....she didn't actually flake on you....she CANCELLED. It's not like you two had plans to meet somewhere,you showed up,she didn't,and you were left wondering what happened. She actually had the decency to contact you a day ahead of time and let you know she wouldn't be able to make it.

Secondly,her so called "excuse" made sense. You say you've never heard of someone working the weekend before Christmas.

Umm.....you do know that Christmas is on a Friday this year...correct? That means the weekend before is SIX DAYS before Christmas. That's not out of line....I bet millions of people are working THIS weekend....I am.

Also,she said she has to work this weekend because she's going on holiday in the middle of the week next week. It'd appear to me that she's working this weekend SO SHE CAN TAKE HOLIDAY in the middle of the week. In other words,if she took this weekend off,she'd have to work Wednesday and Thursday. So she decided to go ahead and work so she can take the 23rd and 24th off,leading right into Christmas. I'm sorry......but that makes sense to me. And here people are....telling you to next the girl.



Oh geez. So because she decided to work this weekend......so she can be off the Wednesday and Thursday before Friday,the 25th,she's not "relationship material". Man......

12 and a half years I've been here at this forum.......and just when I think I've seen it all.

Really good point .

but just to get an idea , I saw that she had a story with her friends at the gym in the morning .

dunno maybe indeed it is how she said it that she working the weekend and bla bla , but for some reason I do not buy the excuse especially after the story on ig , which leads me to think that she is playing games .

dunno , but from experience you can not really feel comfortable having a ltr with someone that you suspect or know is playing games .

the reason is that mainly this kind of things will never stop , and will get tougher and tougher as the relationship progresses .

I am at the point in my life where I want to build amazing things , and women are just not a priority . Sure it is nice to have them around , but in the same time playing this stupid games with them makes you less focused on other aspects that bring more value to your life .

 

[9-3enthusiast]

Wait and see.... She may come around, she may not.... no point analyzing women, just move on and and keep her in mind as a future 'maybe'.

I arranged an afternoon coffee date a while ago, but a few days before it, my area went into a higher Covid alert level, and coffee shops were temporarily closed.
Her initial response was to put things on hold for now... (She is a nurse, so has to be VERY careful re: the virus)
Then we had November lockdown, followed by quite strict restrictions currently.
We are in contact via phone and txt, and a coupla weeks ago, SHE upped our 'on-hold' coffee date to a proper evening date, as soon as Covid restrictions allow (I'm hoping this means she's getting as horny as I am - LOL)

This does show that sometimes they are genuine, you just don't know until she shows it.

 

[Bigpapa]

This kind of things are always tricky , and to be frank I never really understood this power games . They do not make any sense if at least 1 of the people playing it is truly high value .

being a football coach and saying “ you either do it like otherwise you are not in the top 11 “ works for small clubs , and not for real Madrid where you have only stars . Saying this to a football star only makes you shoot yourself in the foot with the player and the rest of the squad

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

Well without overthinking it, you can think about what she might mean by saying that she has to work the weekend? Simply put, she's going to be busy. Whether she has plans, she actually has to work (yes people work on weekends, before Christmas, before any holiday, doesnt matter)

Most girls will AUTOMATICALLY always cancel the 1st time. There's multiple reasons why a woman might do thiis but here are the top 3:
1) shes putting it off due to not wanting to think too much about it right now, slight anxiety abou meeting soon
2) She is testing yout o see how you react to her cancelling, this tells her how much ur willing to try, and if u really want to meet her or not
3) she is genuinely busy and would much rather do this at a later time
4) you're not on her list of priorities. and that can be a great sign because a woman with alot going on in her life won't prioritize these kinds of things, while loser bit.ches can't wait to hang.
5) She's playing the game. Trying to create more desire by cancelling the first time, because seh knows how it feels to be cancelled on and want to hang out with someone even more now that it seems their harder to get

GREAT post. Thanks. I actually started canceling on girls the first time too.

 

[RickTheToad]

so a girl flaked on the date with 1 day before the date by saying that she has to work the weekend as she is going in Holliday middle next week , and then said that if we can reschedule it .

I told her casually that most likely we will have To leave it for January , as now it will be kinda a busy period with new year , Christmas etc .

the funny thing about this is her excuse , that she has to work the weekend . For some reason I just think that is a super big lie , never heard anyone working the weekend before Christmas

to be frank , when I see this kind of things , in my mind is that she is not ltr material and that I have to keep her as a fwb ,which means minimum energy spent from my end

Thinking too much about it. It's happened to all of us. Just say sure, and that's that. Do not follow up and see what happens. In the meantime, seek out of females to connect with. Rest assured, she's talking to at least another dozen people aside from you; you should do the same.

 

[B80]

Well without overthinking it, you can think about what she might mean by saying that she has to work the weekend? Simply put, she's going to be busy. Whether she has plans, she actually has to work (yes people work on weekends, before Christmas, before any holiday, doesnt matter)

Most girls will AUTOMATICALLY always cancel the 1st time. There's multiple reasons why a woman might do thiis but here are the top 3:
1) shes putting it off due to not wanting to think too much about it right now, slight anxiety abou meeting soon
2) She is testing yout o see how you react to her cancelling, this tells her how much ur willing to try, and if u really want to meet her or not
3) she is genuinely busy and would much rather do this at a later time
4) you're not on her list of priorities. and that can be a great sign because a woman with alot going on in her life won't prioritize these kinds of things, while loser bit.ches can't wait to hang.
5) She's playing the game. Trying to create more desire by cancelling the first time, because seh knows how it feels to be cancelled on and want to hang out with someone even more now that it seems their harder to get

So if it was number 2 or 5. what are some of the best approaches, assuming they do actually like you, you've already met several times etc

tell them to contact you when they're ready to reschedule?

 

[Bigpapa]

So if it was number 2 or 5. what are some of the best approaches, assuming they do actually like you, you've already met several times etc

tell them to contact you when they're ready to reschedule?

a guy should be persistent if he really likes the girl , like trying to schedule a meeting with her 2 maximum 3 times

if after 2-3 times you have not managed to see her , then just send her a message by throwing the ball in her court