"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Flake help

sylvester the cat

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I had a similar situation with a business prospective.

For months he'd been talking about meeting up to advance the possibility of working together.

He'd arrange a meet, then cancel or not even bother to call at all to confirm.

Thing is I'd already moved on to a better prospect where i don't need to work with anyone so i couldnt care less.

the last time he called he arranged a meet only to say he might or might not be able to make it and would 'call me on the day to confirm', lol, as if i had nothing better to do than wait around for him.

i politely told him i'd found a better offer (me), thanked him and wished him all the best. his response was very blase which meant either of two things: 1) he didn't really give a **** , in which case i did the right thing or 2) he's thinking i'm bluffing and will come running back because i'm desperate and have no self-respect - no chance.

either way, i was outta there...:)

I'm figuring the business world isn't that much different from the dating world.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Purefilth

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oxford comma said:
but the op ISNT brad pitt. you guys really need to get over yourselves. just because you found a webpage that teaches you how to be a "don juan" doesnmt mean every girl is going to give it up easily. be empathetic to the girls situation. i doubt shes a bad person, she could very well be nervous. she might be thinking that shes not good enough for HIM.
op, try and reschedule but make the "date" less threatening. if you were planning on having dinner and she flaked, then plan on having lunch or something.
3 flakes already - would anyone really put up with that sh1t?
Fvck that man, 1 is acceptable
2 with a rescheduled one THAT SHE DOESN'T FLAKE ON is acceptable
3 is not interested / playing games or whatever is going on in her head, I dont care - she is being a waste of time. I will NEXT that girl wether she is a 7/8/9 - it makes no difference.
There are other girls who are interested and who dont flake.
 

oxford comma

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Purefilth said:
3 flakes already - would anyone really put up with that sh1t?
Fvck that man, 1 is acceptable
2 with a rescheduled one THAT SHE DOESN'T FLAKE ON is acceptable
3 is not interested / playing games or whatever is going on in her head, I dont care - she is being a waste of time. I will NEXT that girl wether she is a 7/8/9 - it makes no difference.
There are other girls who are interested and who dont flake.

i see what you are saying but if you want to have sex with the girl, then you keep pursuing. i call it playful persistence. obviously, you dont go out of your way for the girl but if you're hitting up a bar, then just shoot her a text. if she doesn't show up, then meet new girls. if she does show up, then great. just cutting a girl loose doesn't really help you unless for some reason this was taking an emotional toll on you, which it shouldn't have been in the first place.
 

Purefilth

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oxford comma said:
i see what you are saying but if you want to have sex with the girl, then you keep pursuing. i call it playful persistence. obviously, you dont go out of your way for the girl but if you're hitting up a bar, then just shoot her a text. if she doesn't show up, then meet new girls. if she does show up, then great.i wouldn't count this as a flake ;) just cutting a girl loose doesn't really help you unless for some reason this was taking an emotional toll on you, which it shouldn't have been in the first place.
Yeah man, im all for some pursuit on a gal, but my advice for this is based on -If the guy already has three flakes, and he's posting here for help, the best thing for HIM is to cut her loose.:D

Once he has a hang of his emotions, and 'killed that desperation', then 'confident persistance' and his own cut-off point will be learned.
 

sylvester the cat

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As a recent oneitis sufferer, I concur that cutting someone loose not only physically but more importantly mentally will not only bolster your self-esteem but in all likelihood give you more chance of getting the girl...but by that time you probably won't give two hoots because you'll have moved on.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

vatoloco

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OP, have you seen this woman in person? Have you heard the sound of her voice?

This is a "girl" from online dating, isn't it? ;)

:D
 

Seriously?

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vatoloco said:
OP, have you seen this woman in person? Have you heard the sound of her voice?

This is a "girl" from online dating, isn't it? ;)

:D
Ha you're good.

She is from a dating website and I've not spoken to her on the phone. Now I'm regretting not calling her before.

I just thought I could be short and sweet by text and organise a date quickly and go from there. It's worked before, but not this time.
 

vatoloco

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Seriously? said:
Ha you're good.
Ha! Kudos to you for taking it like a champ. +1

I've been learning and improving myself for 10+ years. I know a few things now! ;)


She is from a dating website and I've not spoken to her on the phone. Now I'm regretting not calling her before.
With online "dating" (more like online "whoring" for females), YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO CLOSE AND CONFIRM. Get the number and call "her" to make sure "she" is a "girl".

Was her name Annabell, by the way? :D

P.S. Here's an interesting read for you and anybody else interested.
 
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