Flake culture? Or am I too aggressive?

[oOh Nasty]

Not talking about women. Talking about men also who don't show up to meetings or follow through with plans you made with them, usually giving an excuse of family issues, work issues, etc.

I seem to have met more than a handful of "entrepreneurs" these past few years. About 95% of them are flakes.

Back when I was growing up, pre-twitter and instagram, word was bond. Now I've gotta watch for red flags when I meet ANYONE.

I understand that the common denominator could possibly be ME. Perhaps I'm too aggressive and scare the sh*t out of of everyone because I want to do good in life? Or maybe because people don't really know what they want and change their minds at lightning speed.

I also understand that people are too busy and that there are way too many opportunities being thrown at us all at the same time, but whatever happened to saying "no" or admitting that it's something you can't handle right now?

Out of the 200-300 new people I meet per year, only about 2 or 3 of them have consistently stuck to their word. And if not, they usually message me first chance they get, apologizing for it whether it be a week or two later. Once a person's passed a certain threshold of time however (usually 2 weeks), I just delete their contact info. NEXT.

Just another new age thing that I've gotta get used to, I guess.

 

[oOh Nasty]

Interesting point.

Flakes are confident people.

Help me understand this, though.

 

[backseatjuan]

Flake means unreliable, unless they call you and let you know. Person could be confident and have a dozen more positive traits, but if they flake they are unreliable.

 

[Ronaldo7]

Interesting point.

Help me understand this, though.

This. Interested in that statement as well.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

This. Interested in that statement as well.

I think he's saying they are confident you will still take the opportunity to meet with them.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

In my experience flaking stems from abundance. It does NOT stem from excuses or a lack of character or a lack of reliability.

Cancelling a drinkdate with a hot chick and scheduling said drinkdate with an even hotter chick breeds confidence.

So if you promised the meeting say Friday at 5pm and blow it out just because something else came along, that's "reliable"? That's unreliable.

 

[Bokanovsky]

People will not flake on you when they are genuinely interested in meeting you. This is true both in business and in personal life.

You are right that the common denominator is you. If people are flaking on you left and right, it means that they don't have a particularly good reason not to flake on you. Perhaps you are trying to make friends or business connections with people who aren't really interested. Perhaps there is something wrong with your approach or maybe you are approaching the wrong people. Or maybe you are approaching people because you want something from them and don't offer sufficient value in return.