Flake After Magic Happens

[Shalashaska07]

Hi all,

So here's my story:

Met a girl on a cold approach in the train station and took her on an insta-date. She lives in another city roughly 1 and a half hours away, so I met her in her city 2 weeks later for another date.

Things went well, so 2 weeks later she came here to me for a date. I made a picnic and we had a great time, went back to my place and we f--ked. She even stayed the night and we spent the next day together in bed f--king around before she went home. Whilst she was at my place, she talked about "next time" and made suggestions that this wasn't a one time thing, even saying that she could easily get addicted to me. One thing to add is that I paid her train fare for the date and picked up the bill for eating out because she's a student with no job, so she has no money to spare. The "paying for her sh*t" is purely logistical, as otherwise we wouldn't be able to see each other. I'm not buying her handbags and sh*t...

A few days later I messaged her and asked if she wanted to meet the next weekend here in my city and she was being super indecisive. On Thursday last week, I called her and asked her if she wanted to come over the next day. Again she was being indecisive and she keeps saying that she feels uncomfortable about the money situation i.e. me paying for stuff. After talking some more she slightly reluctantly agreed to meet the following day. A few hours later I text her with info on which train to take, and then she follows up with "sorry I'm not coming - have a nice evening " and hasn't sent any messages since.

What do you think is going on here? The money thing has been a recurring comment and last time we spoke she said that she feels like she loses her independence if she has to rely on someone, but if I don't pay for it then it means we don't see each other at all.

I haven't replied to her last message where she said that she wasn't coming, as I figured backing off a bit might help. Do you think I was coming on too strong or something? It's strange for me that she's super into me when we meet face to face, but with text messaging she will never initiate and takes forever to reply.

What's my next move here? My plan was to wait for 7 days since the last message then casually call her up to try and make plans to meet up. What do you think? Any tips on how to help her "get over" this money thing? For me, paying for train tickets is no problem as I'm earning and she's not, but despite my reassurances it still seems to linger with her.

Thanks a lot in advance for your thoughts!

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Sounds like you are way too invested in this one girl. My first advice is to stop that. She is also poor and lives a long ways away. Unlike you, she probably is able to see the forest for the trees and realize that these two issues are not going to make it realistic to get into a thing with you right now.

I strongly advise not paying for girls. Your justification for doing so (if I didn't do it, we couldn't see each other) is not valid. Doesn't matter that it's not handbags.... If a girl can't come see you without your paying, or pay for anything on her own ever, it's not going to work.

What does it communicate to her that after one date, you are willing to pay for everything just to see her? What has she done to deserve this, exactly? How do you think that looks to her?

You should not have invited her again after she didn't accept your other invite. That's needy and desperate, especially combined with paying for her. When she was wishy washy about it, you should have said, "No problem, let me know if you change your mind" and never texted her again until she texted you.

Lastly, women live in the moment. What she says one minute, she may feel totally different about the next. Especially if she says it after a night of passion. Don't take those things she says about it not being a none time thing seriously. Judge her bases on her actions in the current moment only.

There is honestly nothing to do about this situation other than to leave her alone and focus on other women who have the means to at least come to see you without you paying.

 

[dude99]

Hi all,

So here's my story:

Met a girl on a cold approach in the train station and took her on an insta-date. She lives in another city roughly 1 and a half hours away, so I met her in her city 2 weeks later for another date.

Things went well, so 2 weeks later she came here to me for a date. I made a picnic and we had a great time, went back to my place and we f--ked. She even stayed the night and we spent the next day together in bed f--king around before she went home. Whilst she was at my place, she talked about "next time" and made suggestions that this wasn't a one time thing, even saying that she could easily get addicted to me. One thing to add is that I paid her train fare for the date and picked up the bill for eating out because she's a student with no job, so she has no money to spare. The "paying for her sh*t" is purely logistical, as otherwise we wouldn't be able to see each other. I'm not buying her handbags and sh*t...

A few days later I messaged her and asked if she wanted to meet the next weekend here in my city and she was being super indecisive. On Thursday last week, I called her and asked her if she wanted to come over the next day. Again she was being indecisive and she keeps saying that she feels uncomfortable about the money situation i.e. me paying for stuff. After talking some more she slightly reluctantly agreed to meet the following day. A few hours later I text her with info on which train to take, and then she follows up with "sorry I'm not coming - have a nice evening " and hasn't sent any messages since.

What do you think is going on here? The money thing has been a recurring comment and last time we spoke she said that she feels like she loses her independence if she has to rely on someone, but if I don't pay for it then it means we don't see each other at all.

I haven't replied to her last message where she said that she wasn't coming, as I figured backing off a bit might help. Do you think I was coming on too strong or something? It's strange for me that she's super into me when we meet face to face, but with text messaging she will never initiate and takes forever to reply.

What's my next move here? My plan was to wait for 7 days since the last message then casually call her up to try and make plans to meet up. What do you think? Any tips on how to help her "get over" this money thing? For me, paying for train tickets is no problem as I'm earning and she's not, but despite my reassurances it still seems to linger with her.

Thanks a lot in advance for your thoughts!

The losing her independence excuse and feeling bad if you pay excuse is just that. A 'bs' excuse she can lob your way hoping you will not give her grief. It is an excuse. Nothing more. The bottom line is, she isn't meeting you for dates.

No girl ever ever ever has a problem with guys paying for them in the early stages of dating. No girl. None. In fact they are hard wired to expect you to pay. Whether it is for transit or dinner or drinks they naturally believe you should be on the hook. Society has taught them to never pay for the first handful of dates. That is why dating so much benefits the woman and is more of a hassle to men. Men have to face rejection. Men are expected to make the plans, men are expected to pay.

I hate to say this but you were entertainment for a brief time. Nothing more. Next guy came along and she nexted you.

Move on. Dont waste any time on women who make excuses. Focus your time on women who make dates.

 

[jaymbrs]

"sorry I'm not coming - have a nice evening " this was a nice way of saying "**** off". Move on dude. And like @stormrider said, she's playing the masculine role and you're playing the feminine role. Your story reads more like she hit and quit on you. Move it along dude. This should be viewed as a success. You banged the chick.

 

[Medina]

I agree with storm

I was in a 200 miles LTR for frickin years and not ONCE did I pay

It never entered my mind. Which is probably why she kept coming

You're not being indifferent bro. You're too accommodating

 

[Shalashaska07]

Thanks a lot for the solid advice gents. On reflection I made a lot of mistakes here, which for sure I will learn from e.g. being too needy, thirsty and accommodating. I guess this is what happens when it's the first girl that I hit up in a while.

@jaymbrs - Yup it's a success in the sense that I banged her, but so much for me to learn from this.

Anyhow, this confirms in my mind that I need to NEXT! and move on, so thanks for helping me to open my eyes!

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Magic?

You guys are comedians. Magic with a *****?

If by magic you mean hiv positive lol.

These girls give up the butt day1. Non maternal. Can out drink everyone here but cannot turn on the stove.

You wut mate +

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Thanks a lot for the solid advice gents. On reflection I made a lot of mistakes here, which for sure I will learn from e.g. being too needy, thirsty and accommodating. I guess this is what happens when it's the first girl that I hit up in a while.

@jaymbrs - Yup it's a success in the sense that I banged her, but so much for me to learn from this.

Anyhow, this confirms in my mind that I need to NEXT! and move on, so thanks for helping me to open my eyes!

If you want a accurate portrayal of western women and female nature, watch Black Mirror - white Christmas. The dude from Mad men stars in it. The episode accurately portrays female logic or lack thereof. It depicts how disgusting women are.

Indecisive is low interest. Female logic will cuck, divorce rape and genocide your unborn child. Cucks are playing house with the girl i went ass to mouth. Its beyond ridiculous.

You smashed. She's not able to compete with the hotter girls turning 18 19 20 21 every day. Stay on the grind.

When you pull top form SMV 18-23 and her life is garbage, its game over. But girl powet lololol victimhood.

Life trolls women harder than you ever could. Enjoy the decline.

 

[Machine10033]

There is no such thing as magic !!! If you feel magic your putting this chick on a pedestal! You saw an attractive chick... you enjoyed talking to her. You try and fck her and keep her in your stable. No magic.... after a year you would be saying oh man this chick changed??? Where did the magic go

 

[Bullbearpig]

B1tches are cold and brutal. Be the same.

 

[Cremasta]

Lots of possible scenario's here, but my theory is that she still really likes you, but... she talked to one of her girlfriends about the night she spent with you. The girlfriend said "What the hell are you doing, he could be a psycho!" and now she's been frightened off.

There's no next move here, just let this one go.