"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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fixing the porn damage

cablecow15

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Ive been porn and masturbation free about a month now , and around the same time i started going to clubs and grinding on girls , my problem is I cant really get turned on .

Im dancing with hot girls , but all these years of porn , have dulled me to hell.

Anyone deal with this , id like something to help other than viagra XD ,

anything anyone knows about something that would help me "impress" the ladies would be appreciated , otherwise ill just have to slowly let the damage of porn erode away
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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SgtSplacker

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http://yourbrainonporn.com/

Good site. What you are experiencing is a normal part of "rebooting" your body out of porn. Stay with it and be strong! You're almost done!
 

JPlaya

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You might be gay because I used to watch porn and masturbate every night and never had a problem like that
 

Atom Smasher

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I've noticed that when going cold turkey with porn and masturbation, there can be a reverse-backlash where you don't get turned on for a while. In due time it will come back with a vengeance.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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PapiChulo

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Ha some people also start having perfomance anxiety, resulting in delayed ejuculation, losing erection during intercourse, inability to come or get hard at all, or getting erection at inappropriate times. It's all psychological and your mind may play tricks on you. I have delayed ejaculation depending on who I am with, mostly the ones who are not my type, which is a problem having to do with porn probably as well.
 

Alle_Gory

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cablecow15 said:
Ive been porn and masturbation free about a month now , and around the same time i started going to clubs and grinding on girls , my problem is I cant really get turned on .
Withdrawal. The body tries to rebalance itself. While doing so, you're not going to feel much. It needs time to rewire itself.

Take it easy. It comes back slowly. And it's fantastic.

anything anyone knows about something that would help me "impress" the ladies would be appreciated , otherwise ill just have to slowly let the damage of porn erode away
The brain is plastic. It goes away with some effort. As far as impressing, eat well, dress well, work hard, and be passionate about your hobbies and interests (including women). Why? So you can be a valuable man.

Also, be more giving. I'm not talking about giving gifts or money. I'm talking about helping people out. Give more of yourself. Show someone a good time instead of expecting them to lead, tell a joke, take them and show them something interesting, help them out if they need help, and if they're a clear douchebag help them out by bringing them down to earth.

Some things to consider.
 

Down Low

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PapiChulo said:
Ha some people also start having perfomance anxiety, resulting in delayed ejuculation, losing erection during intercourse, inability to come or get hard at all, or getting erection at inappropriate times. It's all psychological and your mind may play tricks on you. I have delayed ejaculation depending on who I am with, mostly the ones who are not my type, which is a problem having to do with porn probably as well.
I have to disagree. There's no such thing as porn damage. Your mind and body doesn't know the difference between jerking off nightly and penetrating a hot 18-year-old nightly. Same goes with looking at pictures of a hot 18-year-old or seeing one in the flesh.

You and the OP's real problem is that you're trying to get hot and bothered about random slvts. Despite mountains of propaganda to the contrary, sex the first time with a strange woman is never anywhere near as good as it is with your LTR woman. The brain has an intimacy barrier that discourages you from d1cking every h0 you pass. The closer you get to actual sex with a stranger, the weaker is the erection.
 

MisterD

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some people take this porn thing too far, and yes, it can become an addiction, but if you can't spank it from time to time to release pent up energy without having some psychological/pysiological breakdown. you have a deeper problem

porn is not the root of your problems. plenty of men can both have sex and masturbate with no issues.
 

cablecow15

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Down Low said:
I have to disagree. There's no such thing as porn damage. Your mind and body doesn't know the difference between jerking off nightly and penetrating a hot 18-year-old nightly. Same goes with looking at pictures of a hot 18-year-old or seeing one in the flesh.

You and the OP's real problem is that you're trying to get hot and bothered about random slvts. Despite mountains of propaganda to the contrary, sex the first time with a strange woman is never anywhere near as good as it is with your LTR woman. The brain has an intimacy barrier that discourages you from d1cking every h0 you pass. The closer you get to actual sex with a stranger, the weaker is the erection.
appreciate the different opinion , but im still pretty young , i remember being easily turned on , and i know and see that porn is making me crave more and more to be turned on , first iI looked at bikini pics as a kid , then topless , then full naked , then pron then lesbo porn then bj vids then more crazy **** , recently i even went to live webcam shows (free of course)

and over long periods of break the cycle starts over , with sinple porn back up to extreme , so its not be , its real and ive experienced it already in my liftime , i dont blame you for not getting it , your 52 , you had no where near the amount of ****ed up **** to spank it to that i had at a young age
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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cablecow15

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MisterD said:
some people take this porn thing too far, and yes, it can become an addiction, but if you can't spank it from time to time to release pent up energy without having some psychological/pysiological breakdown. you have a deeper problem

porn is not the root of your problems. plenty of men can both have sex and masturbate with no issues.
I can have sex fine , i trying to get turned on more easily so i can rub my enormous manhood on these girls rears however, is different

I don't get turned on in public for no reason , unless I think about something for along time

you doing just what your accusing others of , your reading to far into it

never said i had performance issues , i have random boner to show of to strangers issues
 

cablecow15

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Eternal_water said:
I doubt he's gay
Im assuming your referring to jplayas post ? idk wtf he said seeing as i put him on my ignore list along time ago after he accused me of being racist because he knows that i live in a primarily white town , hes an idiot , just look at the things hes posted lol
 

cablecow15

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Alle_Gory said:
Withdrawal. The body tries to rebalance itself. While doing so, you're not going to feel much. It needs time to rewire itself.

Take it easy. It comes back slowly. And it's fantastic.



The brain is plastic. It goes away with some effort. As far as impressing, eat well, dress well, work hard, and be passionate about your hobbies and interests (including women). Why? So you can be a valuable man.

Also, be more giving. I'm not talking about giving gifts or money. I'm talking about helping people out. Give more of yourself. Show someone a good time instead of expecting them to lead, tell a joke, take them and show them something interesting, help them out if they need help, and if they're a clear douchebag help them out by bringing them down to earth.

Some things to consider.
lol I probably shouldn't have used the word impress , i meant let her know i have a big tool lol XD


sorry for all the frequent posts , trying to catch up to every ones comments
 

Zarky

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Down Low said:
I have to disagree. There's no such thing as porn damage. Your mind and body doesn't know the difference between jerking off nightly and penetrating a hot 18-year-old nightly. Same goes with looking at pictures of a hot 18-year-old or seeing one in the flesh.
Actually that's not true. Your body behaves much differently when you have sex vs. masturbating. Do some research on masturbation vs. sex with regard to the chemicals released in the brain.
 

Alle_Gory

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cablecow15 said:
i meant let her know i have a big tool lol XD
You can always fvck her brains out. That always seems to work.

On the other hand, wait until you're ready and past the withdrawal.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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PapiChulo

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Down Low said:
I have to disagree. There's no such thing as porn damage. Your mind and body doesn't know the difference between jerking off nightly and penetrating a hot 18-year-old nightly. Same goes with looking at pictures of a hot 18-year-old or seeing one in the flesh.

You and the OP's real problem is that you're trying to get hot and bothered about random slvts. Despite mountains of propaganda to the contrary, sex the first time with a strange woman is never anywhere near as good as it is with your LTR woman. The brain has an intimacy barrier that discourages you from d1cking every h0 you pass. The closer you get to actual sex with a stranger, the weaker is the erection.
Actually the prolong use of porn has a psychological impact resulting in skewed perception of what 'sex' is. It is unhealthy when in excess. It also leads to too much jerking off, which conditions you to firm stimulation by hand. You last longer with a woman, sometimes too long, or can't get an orgasm at all in extreme cases. I suppose one can recover.......I am not against the porn or jerking off at all, but I am against the overuse.
 

cablecow15

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Alle_Gory said:
You can always fvck her brains out. That always seems to work.

On the other hand, wait until you're ready and past the withdrawal.
:crackup: sounds like a plan , ill just make sure to make them want me like crazy before i plow them lol
 

SgtSplacker

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It's all about chemical/dopamine production and how much porn you look at. Porn causes the body to release more dopamine than sex with a regular girl would. If you are a prince having orgies daily don't worry about the porn lol. So the body gets used to this and will not respond to regular stimulus in the same way. Dopamine in the brain works like drug addiction (it's the same chemical), you need more and more to have the same effect. Why do you think you catch yourself looking at things online you would never do in real life? Because your body is looking for a bigger dopamine hit it's making you seek that out like crack.

So what everyone here says is both right and wrong. Sure you can bang that hot arse 9 just fine, but a regular looking 7 or so that only wants to do missionary might be a problem. It might take more than just having a nice looking girl in bed to really turn you on since you're so used to seeing orgies with wall to wall tits. You might need that BJ to get you going first. Then of course there's the age factor, if you're younger you have so much testosterone in your system it doesn't matter if you jerk it 1000 times a day. Maybe the porn you are looking at is similar to the kind of girls you are laying? So different strokes for different folks... lol.

Bottom line is that if you feel you have a problem you have to understand that what you are looking at makes a difference later when you are in bed with a real girl. The more extreme, the more dissatisfied you will be later with a real girl.
 

cablecow15

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Ive decided that if i ever do the deed again (wich i prolly will because going cold turkey is just as bad for you ) Ill only use my imagination or pics with out nudity , i feel like ive taken alo of the thrill out of undressing a girl as well .

I feel good about where im heading with this, with all the types of self improvement ive been following this is just another to add to the list
 

Eternal_water

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I agree jacking off just imagination and no porn is the best way.

And If you can manage it, once a week is probably the best timescale, I've managed to cut down to once a day which for me is a third of what I used to do.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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