first time (well, not really) at the age of 22

[thatwasquick]

Ok, met a girl at the uni night club, exhanged numbers, but I wasn't really interested at all. This was a few weeks ago.

I got a serious of texts from her basically saying she was horny and wanted to meet up etc.

Set it up with her today and I've just come back, it did not goes as planned.
It started off ok, I said I was worn out, so she suggested a massage. After about 30 minutes of that (me in just my underwear), we got it down to me and her in just pants and thong. Kissing and groping ensued, but it was basically restricted to me groping her arse and tits and her playing with bits and bobs of me, but not below the waist. shes on top
I get to removing the underwear (mine and hers, it was a long time coming, she was grinding on me for quite a while before hand) and I'm on the inside of her legs and we're kissing (me on top), little guy is not to attention as it were (I'd been turned on for a while, so nuts are hurting for some reason at this point, with the massage and it'd gotten squashed, I also felt a strange pain in my right front around the waist line for some reason while she was on me), so, I basically complain about this and she gets me to roll over.
'Maybe I can help', kisses me and works her way down. Shes down there for a few seconds (tongue on tip) and, well, you get the idea.

Now, this was basically my first time, I've had 1 encounter like this before, but not go this far (that was nov 03 and I kept my under wear on the whole time, basically it was me using my hand on her while I'm at head level-I was going to go further but chickened out, I was also going through a bad year at that point, quite a few deaths in a 6 month period beginning with my dad in march).

If I'm going to full honesty, I never started, ahem, self pleasuring, till oct 04, so a lot of things are new to me.

My drawn out question is, what the hell happened. I've been doing the whole kegels thing for ages and trying to hold it off while I do, but once she was there with the tongue, game over. Unsurprisingly she nicely kicked me out soon afterwards 'I had fun', but I'm so dejected and annoyed (and my nuts hurt for some reason).
I've said to her its been a year and a half since I've had any, and after I did...finish, she said how about next time.

I used her basically as a testing ground because I wasn't that into her (I know I know), and I....well....the above speaks for itself.

also-until that first chickening out incident, I hadn't even kissed a girl. I went to a boys school and didn't socialise so it wasn't until that nov 03 incident that I had been that far in with a girl (she chased me down in that case, same with this one really aswell). there has been nothing since then either, I don't seem to have the confidence incase I get to far and this kind of thing happens

should this seriously dampen me down and remove my confidence or what (yes, I'm doing the lowest thing I know of and begging)

also again, when I told her about the year and a half, she looked shocked and surprised and said a bit later (she brought it up) 'thats really strange, your so good looking'. I obviously don't think this way, but I said I was bascially off women for a while (since incident 1) and she asked if I was into men at that point. That a big no and I told her (lack of confidence, final year of uni and not wanting to get close to someone were the main reasons for me not acting on anything that was given to me)

 

[thatwasquick]

also, not that it makes much difference, but I have quiet confidence. I'm not loud or like that, but I am ballsy and pretty musculure.
I'm 5 11, 179lbs and fight AM thai boxing, under thai rules, K1 rules etc. So I'm not afraid most things, but the fact that while I was getting that massage I was shaking a little (I'll be honest about it) seems wrong somehow to me. I relaxed a little during the kissing and groping, but still, I was nervous as hell. The first time I fought was in front of 700 people at a big show (the guy I fought, and beat to a ref stoppage in 2 of 3, had his opponent pull out, so I was a late stand in) and I didn't feel anything like what I did today. Then it just felt right, but today, I just didn't feel right at all

I'm just setting the personality tone as it were, or trying to. I'm not being a **** and trying to brag

 

[squirrels]

I'd warn her...I'll tell a woman if I haven't gotten any for a while that "the first time's gonna be quick."

If you blow early, get good at going down on her and do that until you're ready for "round two". After the first orgasm it takes much longer to get another.

 

[ApocalypseCow2]

Your question breaks down to premature ejaculation. There is lots of info on the net about ways to deal with this. One of my preferred techniques is to use a desensitizing cream, such as Durex's Maintain (recently renamed "Play").

 

[thatwasquick]

since I'm so new to a lot of this (and even more is un trodden ground), I'm not sure about going down on a women. I think I've managed that one other to *** via hands useage, but how the hell am I supposed to know.

Also, next time, you think I should knock out out a hour or so before hand, because I didn't for 2 days before this encounter. I said to her about going again that day, because ofthe 2nd orgasm taking longer, but she was having none of it

 

[thatwasquick]

Originally posted by ApocalypseCow2
Your question breaks down to premature ejaculation. There is lots of info on the net about ways to deal with this. One of my preferred techniques is to use a desensitizing cream, such as Durex's Maintain (recently renamed "Play").

ah crap, where do they sell that kinda stuff (i'm actually living at home, so I don't think mail order will be the done thing).

would I put it on a hour or so before hand or just before I start to get aroused

 

[ApocalypseCow2]

Originally posted by thatwasquick
ah crap, where do they sell that kinda stuff (i'm actually living at home, so I don't think mail order will be the done thing).

would I put it on a hour or so before hand or just before I start to get aroused

You can buy it from Drugstore.com. They ship things in discrete packages. I'm sure you could find some at your local pharmacy, too.

You put it on when you're hard, and within about 5 minutes, it takes effect.

 

[thatwasquick]

so it'll be a case of-'wait a minute love' <applies cream> 'now we wait'


if I were to knock one off 30 minutes to a hour before I see her or someone again, would that help or be too soon (I don't think me not doing so for 48 hours meant there was quite a bit of a back log)?

 

[ApocalypseCow2]

Originally posted by thatwasquick
so it'll be a case of-'wait a minute love' <applies cream> 'now we wait'


if I were to knock one off 30 minutes to a hour before I see her or someone again, would that help or be too soon (I don't think me not doing so for 48 hours meant there was quite a bit of a back log)?

Put the cream on when you put on the condom. You ARE using a condom, right???

And no, you don't have to twiddle your thumbs for 5 minutes waiting for it to kick in. Play with her. Lick her, kiss her. Need I go on?

If you cvm before you go out with her, that will significantly increase your staying power, too. But some guys don't like to do that because it takes the edge off.

 

[thatwasquick]

Should I use 2 condoms next time do you think then?

I remember (god help me), american pie, and the fact of using 2 condoms at the same time was supposed to desensitize

 

[cave dweller]

chicken........

Hey,

Choke your 'chicken' a couple of hours before you get in the sack with her.
That will slow you down.

cave dweller

 

[ApocalypseCow2]

Originally posted by thatwasquick
Should I use 2 condoms next time do you think then?

I remember (god help me), american pie, and the fact of using 2 condoms at the same time was supposed to desensitize

I don't think you should use 2 condoms. That's not how condoms are supposed to be used, so I wouldn't risk it.

BTW, they also make condoms with the desensitizing cream already in them. Personally, I think a stand-alone cream is more effective.

 

[thatwasquick]

ok, thanks for the feed back about the condom thing,
Slight concern; if I put on the cream before hand (if i can in 'secret' as it were, I mean, no one wants to do that infront of a women now do they) and she does work her way down again, umm.....would it like numb her mouth a bit? (ie give game away)