First thing out of her mouth: "I cheated on your today"

returningchamp

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Before you assume - she followed it up with "i went to salad works with [guy from work] today".... (slight laugh from her)

I was silent....

"But i guess it's not cheating since i'm telling you"... (another little laugh from her)

I'm still silent... then i change the subject...

1) this conversation was on the phone. she called - i picked up and those are literally the first thing she said!

2) i was steaming inside! this is like the 20th time she's brought up this guy. it started out with "this guy at work keeps bothering me; he's so weird"... lately it's been "this guy at work is so nice"... now it's going out to lunch with him??? he seems very afc, but he's also very ****y from what she says... like she told him he didn't have a chance with her and he laughed at it (which is a very good thing to do)... but on the other hand - he's always buying her gifts, bragging about how much money he makes, talking about how lonely he is!!! AND he already confessed that he "feels something very deep" for her....

3) im not her BF, but we do have an exclusive FB relationship.... we actually spend a lot more time together than normal FBs. This rel is over a year old!

4) Why the fvck would that be the first thing out of her mouth? it makes no sense to me!!!!! I understand it's a test, etc. But, why not sneak the test up on me... maybe later in the conversation?

blah.... makes me not want to fvck her anymore... like if i believe she's messing with some other dude, even for a second - we're done... not because im tring to be DJ, but because we don't use protection!
 

returningchamp

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beatoven said:
First thing out of my mouth: "We're through."

And then point to the door.
I'm not sure you read my post:

You do understand that she didn't actually cheat on me - she just went to lunch with a guy from work don't you?

You also understand we were talking on the phone - so pointing to the door would have been pointless?
 

RichardLuzT

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Man that sucks. No helpful comment from me, im afraid.

Could someone respond to the man, please?
 

SoldMySoul

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returningchamp said:
I'm not sure you read my post:

You do understand that she didn't actually cheat on me - she just went to lunch with a guy from work don't you?

You also understand we were talking on the phone - so pointing to the door would have been pointless?
I read most of it and I get the Gist. There is a reason this guy's name continually keeps popping up. You better believe that. Sounds like you need to play hardball with Ms. Disrespectful and if you two have an understanding, seems to me she is crossing the boundaries of that said agreement.
 

bukowski_merit

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it happens....
it happens a lot more in casual relationships... trust me - for all we know it's a congruence test... she's trying to figure out if she can push your jealousy buttons because if she can - then she knows you guys are more than FBs.

it could also be that she's into this guy and can't help herself but to talk about him (this is unlikely though)...

but more than likely, she's putting you against him to get something out of you... commitment maybe?
 

Johnny_Kage

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bukowski is right.

She doesn't like that guy. She likes you.

And it seems like you like her since that bothers you so much.

Besides, even if she did have sex with him, you don't have the right to be mad. You're just FBs right now (I'm sure you're talking to other girls, right?).

JK
 

Isko

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Sounds to me like she is unsure of where your relationship is going, and she wants to know how you feel about her getting involved with someone else.

If you want to keep the relationship open and FB-style, then you should just explain how you're worried about STDs. But... are YOU sleeping with other people? If not, why not just get into a monogamous relationship with her? It sounds like she'd be open to the idea, if you wanted it.
 

S. Pryor

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Danger said:
Her: I cheated on you with this guy, went to salad works with him. He buys me gifts blah blah blah.
You: You should date him, he sounds like a really nice guy.
This.

But to add my own thoughts into it, you're having sex with her but you've developed feelings for her. A no no. You'd have a right to be miffed if you two were actually "official" but you're kinda not so you really have no right to complain. A general rule: don't let a girl mention any particular guy(s) too frequently or give you any ultimatums. And don't let a girl pit you against another guy. That's not the business.
 

Blue Phoenix

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Danger said:
Her: I cheated on you with this guy, went to salad works with him. He buys me gifts blah blah blah.
You: You should date him, he sounds like a really nice guy.
Priceless!! Always do the opposite of what they expect. She´s trying to get a reaction out of you, don´t give her this ego boost. There´s nothing special about a girl having sex around the city, so why the bragging?

There´s a girl at my work who flirts with other guys right in my face and looks back to see If I´m watching it and to see what´s my reaction. I look and don´t give a sh!t, don´t comment, don´t acknowledge it. Actually I say to myself "what a stupid c*nt!", "She thinks she´s the hottest girl ever in the planet".
 

shaunuk

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blah blah blah

1) you're not her boyfriend

2) she talks about some guy a lot

3) it bothers you

4) you've been seeing her for a year

5) and you're trying to work out if the 'relationship' is in danger here

work out what you want out of this. You're not in a proper relationship with her yet you expect her to be exclusive and you're bothered that she may or may not like some other guy. You're not being congruent with the "just sleeping together" arrangement. You seem to like her. And I have a feeling she's trying to get you to show that by getting a rise out of you. So decide what you want - because you're being an idiot if you expect a fvck buddy to be "exclusive" - that ain't what fvck buddies are for pal - they're just for screwing.
 

returningchamp

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Thanks to all for the advice. I haven't really react to it yet anytime she's brought him up. I think i will do what people have said here and do the opposite of what she'd expect. Next time she bring him up... she'll say something like, "this guy from work was talking about how he made 6 figures blah blah..." and im going to say, "sounds like a winner, you better go marry him not before someone else does"... or something along those lines.... Make sense to me :up:

now...

shaunuk said:
blah blah blah

1) you're not her boyfriend

2) she talks about some guy a lot

3) it bothers you

4) you've been seeing her for a year

5) and you're trying to work out if the 'relationship' is in danger here

work out what you want out of this. You're not in a proper relationship with her yet you expect her to be exclusive and you're bothered that she may or may not like some other guy. You're not being congruent with the "just sleeping together" arrangement. You seem to like her. And I have a feeling she's trying to get you to show that by getting a rise out of you. So decide what you want - because you're being an idiot if you expect a fvck buddy to be "exclusive" - that ain't what fvck buddies are for pal - they're just for screwing.
1. I know im not and will never be (she's a forgeiner here for school (she works where she does part-time) and her parents WOULD NOT approve of her being with an American. So there's no use in even trying in our view.).

2. yes

3. yes it does, but it's more of an annoyance. it bothers me that she just keeps bringing him up; the act of her going out to lunch with him - is not big deal to me. that she's telling me that - is the big deal. it's as if she's telling me it to get me angry... and well.... that is what does get me angry.... people doing stuff to get reactions out of me annoys me.

4. yes, over a year...

5. yes, but also what to do when she brings him up which some people have given great suggestions to me about.

---
"because you're being an idiot if you expect a fvck buddy to be "exclusive" - that ain't what fvck buddies are for pal - they're just for screwing."

idiot? we ARE exclusive because we have raw $ex with each other.... After about 3 months and about $100 spent on condoms - we talked about getting checked for diseases and if everything came back negative - we'd have unprotected $ex. We did this and everything came back cool, so - we started having it under the condition that we'd be exclusive to each other $exually...

maybe that doesn't make us FBs in your eye, because we do ACT like BF/GF.... it's just not logical for us to be anything deeper.
 
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