First Post

[416C697665]

(I wrote this originally for myself to explore some insights I had lately when reflecting on my relationships with girls. This is not ground breaking, fancy or polished. I am only trying to overcome my fear of posting something for the world to judge. Sosuave is the most appropriate place because I read so many inspirational stuff here.)

I am not a Don Juan, I am not one of those men who connects with women on a primal level but I know that this strength, this natural energy must be inside me as it should be inside every man. I am often wondering where so many of us lost it, what happened that made something which is inherently supposed to be so easy and straightforward become the focus of our thoughts, our time and even our dreams. When did the wildest constructions of our imagination stop being our focus and the source of our awe and did we go back to letting something so basic take the place?

Some of you will think that I am attacking sex because I consider it primitive. You are mistaken. As the majority of you gentlemen, I love procreating... I love females. Yes I said it, I do not have any grudge against women nor do I think that they are inferior in any way to men. They are simply different. I would never say to any man that sex is not important and that he should forget about it and answer to a greater calling. It would be blasphemy just as telling someone to forget about eating, drinking or sleeping. A crime against nature.

So what is wrong with the way some of us are valuing women and sex? To answer that question, we need to consider something. Are we passionate about eating or sleeping? Do we dream about drinking water? Is your higher calling to have a pair of boxer shorts? No because those things are not on the same level as your accomplishments, your higher goals. So why is sex glorified with romance, one true love and other strange concepts?

Basic needs may not be glorious but they are nonetheless essential. If someone can't eat, he won't shiver with excitement thinking about it but he won't be able to live properly until the situation is corrected. He won't work on an amazing mathematical theorem or compose a breathtaking opera if his stomach is yelling in pain. Looking at Maslow's hierarchy of needs we see that sex is down there with eating and breathing. Maslow said that once a lower level is satisfied new higher needs appear and drive an individual to satisfy those. So this sexually frustrated fellow is not wrong in always thinking about sex and having difficulties concentrating on other things and feeling anxious about it.

But then, we are told that we should be passionate about other things. That we should strive to build our lives and become better men, that we should actualise ourselves if we want women to love and desire us. Are we ****ed? Because this clearly seems to be a vicious circle. We can't function correctly if we don't have sex, yet we should strive for our higher needs to have a chance to get it. Something is wrong, so very wrong here. There must be a mistake. It can't be that hard. Sex can't be something special.

And I realise that maybe I have been so wrong, so damn wrong. Maybe we are not confused. Maybe we are not turning sex into a higher goal in the form of love and romance... Maybe those things really do exist but are higher needs and we are just focusing on the wrong thing. Those guys who tell us to start by bedding girls before worrying about love are so damn right.

So what shall we do? Shall we abandon everything we hold dear, every passion and try to go back to the basics? Are we so ****ed up that we literally need a good punch in the face to wake up and see the world as it really is and not trough those glasses that we have worn our entire life.

I am now convinced that I must cut the bull**** and accept my instinct for what it really is. I must now go out there with a new outlook, one far different from what I have done until now when approaching women. When I am talking to her, nothing fancy should be on my mind apart from the fact that I am a male, she is a female and the normal outcome should be sex. Period. Until I can integrate this properly and really live it in my GUTS it won't matter how interesting I am or how wonderful my personality is.

I am not saying that I should not strive to become more of a man. Masculinity is what attracts women but the presence of a basic, natural, intuitive sexuality is even more important in my opinion and a sine qua non condition to easily attracting women and that is what I what I want to rediscover.

This part of the journey begins.

Now gentlemen, criticise!


A distorted male in remission

 

[War Against Betaism]

Quite a post you wrote there, I can see you really put a lot of effort into it, but I don't think writing all of that is necessary; you could have summarized it into a paragraph. I don't fully grasp what you're asking or saying, and I really don't want to read through it all again, but are you asking how you should prioritize sex? Or are you asking for advice? Although I always enjoy reading posts that are well structured and thought out, when it comes in the form of a question, it really makes it hard for people to interpret what you're asking.

Well, I'm going to assume that you want some advice. Everyone is going to tell you to head over to the bible. You should do that to cover some ground, but books aren't a bad place either. There are a lot of money raking bogus books out there that are really no better then the bible, but then there are also the few hidden gems that have made boys into men.

My new favourite book is "Guy Gets Girl". It's a book written by a women who seems to know her stuff really well. As one testimonial put it, "It's like looking into the Matrix." Thousands of men study women for years and still can't understand what the hell is going through their heads. How about just going straight to the source itself?

Another that really helped me out is Sean McPheats's book "How To Make Great Conversation And Small Talk." I think the number one problem that most men have is the fear of losing the conversation when talking to a women and entering awkward silences. This book really helped me on avoiding those moments. What's even better is that the first twenty or so pages are really the only pieces of advice that you would find useful because the rest is information you see everywhere else. For this reason I created an article that circles just around holding a conversation, you can find it in my signature.

Not in book format but one of the most influential teachers that I've listened to in the seduction business is David X. He takes it old school; no openers, no structure to his game, he's just a pimp plain and simple. His seminar can be found on youtube.

 

[Lexington]

I only read it quickly, but by my interpretation, he is making a point more so than asking a question. Of course, he asked some questions in making his point.

My take on it is that basically, the process of procuring sex shouldn't be nearly as complicated as many of us have made it. The drive for sex is one of the most basic forces that motivates us.....it's on about the same level as our drive for food and water.

Our desires for sex arise from not our cerebral cortex (where our higher thinking centers reside), but from the more primitive parts of our brain. Even insects have a rudimentary form of this "desire." That just goes to show that it is, evolutionarily speaking, a very ancient drive.

To many recovering AFCs, the art of pickup is basically a bunch of steps to be robotically followed. I think what the OP is saying is that we possess an innate and natural ability to procure sex and that we should try to get in touch with it.

I'm pretty sure that the first men that walked this planet didn't need to read books, articles etc. to know how to sex women. And chances are, the first men on the planet sexed A LOT of women. If they hadn't, our species would have gone extinct a very long time ago.

 

[416C697665]

but I don't think writing all of that is necessary; you could have summarized it into a paragraph.

True. Originally it wasn't meant to be a real article. I see it as a "thought process dump". If I ever write again, I will put a small "To the point" paragraph for more practical people so that my verbose tendencies won't send people away screaming.

Well, I'm going to assume that you want some advice.

I already read a lot of material from this forum, including some parts of the Bible. Frankly, I am trying to get away from that. It has been useful and changed my outlook on the whole thing. It even allowed me to sleep with some girls but it's always like a battle and that is what feels so wrong deep down. I could elaborate on the events in my life that brought me to this conclusion but I fear you will roll your eyes if I let myself write that "novel". :nono:

David X. He takes it old school;

This is very interesting. I will definitely look into this.

I think what the OP is saying is that we possess an innate and natural ability to procure sex and that we should try to get in touch with it.

Exactly! That should have been the "To the point" paragraph. Your reply summarises what I think in a very straightforward manner. I really think that getting back in touch with this "nature" is one of those "Ahah!" moments.