First post: When did all this "nice guys get the girl" stuff start?

[CasanovaFrankenstein]

All of this seems so counterintuitive, because of what we've all been told growing up not only by friends and family but also the media. In TV and the movies the HB by the end of the show leaves the jerk and goes with the "nice guy". "Women want guys who are nice, sweet, listen to them, compliment them" etc. I think we've all heard that at one time in our lives at least. Although the media seems to be getting more cynical now and showing the nice guys getting passed over for the jerks more.

I don't know about you all but the first time I ever heard of this "do women like nice guys or bad boys" business was on the daytime talk shows in the 80s and 90s. I was a big couch potato from an early age, what can I say? I guess before then I just assumed that women were attracted to guys who treated them nice, the nicer the better, and didn't like the guys who didn't listen to them, encourage them, talk sweet to them, etc.

Even when I started hearing that women might find "jerks" more attractive, I didn't want to believe it. "Yeah but those are only girls with low self-esteem" the media would tell us and we (at least I) wanted to believe that. Now I find out from this site, that all that goes completely against human nature practically. It's not something a lifelong "nice guy" likes to hear, and the temptation is to think "now I have to start treating women bad if they're going to like me". How did it get this way? Why does all of this seem so counterintuitive when you first start hearing it? Why are so many of us taught to be "nice guys" from an early age? Or maybe is it just guys who didn't have a strong male presence (dad was there but very passive and lazy) like me and grew up as sheltered mama's boys?

Just thought I'd ask. In the meantime I'll just get busy reading my DJ bible. Maybe that will even answer these questions for me. Looking forward to it.

 

[muscleman]

No one taught men how to be men.

 

[The Shocker]

I think it's partly because girls actually help to perpetuate the myth. If you go out and ask any girl what she wants in a man she will say "caring, kind, sensitive, pays attention to my needs, etc." Essentially she will make it sound like she wants a girlfriend to be her boyfriend.

Women feel that they SHOULD want these kinds of men, and fool themselves into believing that those are the kind of men they chase. Most (not all) are unable to accept the fact that nice guys turn them off faster than getting punched in vagina. It boils down to them not knowing what they want.

 

[ValleyDJing]

Nice guys do get girls, as long as they're confident and stick up for themselves.

 

[FatHairyM4F]

I HAD to jump in on this one

Women feel that they SHOULD want these kinds of men, and fool themselves into believing that those are the kind of men they chase.

Thats the part that bothers me. yes women SHOULD want those kinds of men! But theyre not irrational or illogical like this board says, I have come to believe they are just straight out g0ddamn stupid as fcuk!

Instead of wanting a guy who: worships her like a goddess, makes her his whole world, does romantic things like bring her flowers for no reason, never stops telling her how beautiful she is,

they get wet over a guy who: doesn't need her, could give a good g0ddamn if she left him tomorrow, neglects her to go out with his buddies, makes her cry.

These wh0res cry on the first guy's shoulder about how the second guy treats her, but she never leaves the guy she's with to go with Mr Nice Guy! Why??? Apparently because they're all too mother!@#$ing stupid to leave the guy who hits her and cheats on her and run to the guy who would worship the ground she fukcing walks on!! Maybe its because the women I have wanted to hold and cuddle with and talk baby talk with, just were not as DECENT as I am!

I have never tried alcohol, drugs or even cigarettes because I knew theyre bad for you. I am very proud of that. I have never been arrested, I have been driving for 11 years and have gotten ONE speeding ticket, I have no tattoos no piercings, I have never been fired from a job, never got in trouble in school except for talking out of turn occasionally! These are things I think I should be proud of, not looked down on for!

Oh but I read on this other board where women say they dont find nice guys sexy because they havent "lived" very much. they dont have much "life experience". Well maybe Im just INNOCENT?? But do they ever stop to think that I have a whole world of love and affection to give?

Sure people who go out and have all these "adventures" in their life may have cool sounding stories to tell their friends. Like 'remember that time we almost got arrested, remember that time I got drunk and puked all over the place, remember that party where me and so&so got in that fight?' But I bet when a lot of that stuff was happening it was pretty unpleasant at the time. And I wonder if during any of those times they ever wish they were at home playing video games and never tried this or that?

Maybe I need to find a woman who has half a brain, who can appreciate a guy who's innocent like me. A woman who DOES want the kind of guy she SHOULD want! Like me!

 

[The Shocker]

haha...come on dude, women want what they can't have, same as men...hence they chase the guys that don't need them. It's the same thing with guys...would you be more interested in the sure thing that you can have anytime or chase something new and exciting? It's human nature, the only difference is that men are able to admit it, while women don't.

 

[Serialized3]

I had to jump on your post

Thats the part that bothers me. yes women SHOULD want those kinds of men! But theyre not irrational or illogical like this board says, I have come to believe they are just straight out g0ddamn stupid as fcuk!

No, they aren't stupid (well, SOME of them aren't stupid) they're just being polite and saying what they think we want to hear, rather than saying what they really want. What they think we want to hear is that they want a funny, sensitive, loving codependent man. But what they ideally want is a rich, handsome independent masculine man that sexually excites them. However, most of the time, reasonably handsome and sexually exciting works for them. It's rarely said outside the "seduction community", but that's the way it is. Understand it. Those other attributes are a nice bonus to a woman, but they are secondary to being independent, masculine and sexual as to what actually attracts them.

Instead of wanting a guy who: worships her like a goddess, makes her his whole world, does romantic things like bring her flowers for no reason, never stops telling her how beautiful she is

Those are all traits of weak men. Weak men whos whole lives revolve around affirmation from women that they are meaningful people. Attitudes like this are REPULSIVE to women, as well they should be. A more healthy mindset is...

they get wet over a guy who: doesn't need her, could give a good g0ddamn if she left him tomorrow, neglects her to go out with his buddies, makes her cry.

...This mindset (sans the "makes her cry" part). A man who doesn't need her is independent and strong. Attractive. A man who wouldn't care if he left her tomorrow (well he'd probably care a little bit, unless he's a real hard-ass) is independent and strong. Attractive. A man who ditches her to go out with his buddies has a life outside of her. Attractive. In fact, a lot of my friends (and myself) who have made a woman dump them have been guilty of spending way too much time with their woman and smothering them.

These wh0res cry on the first guy's shoulder about how the second guy treats her, but she never leaves the guy she's with to go with Mr Nice Guy! Why??? Apparently because they're all too mother!@#$ing stupid to leave the guy who hits her and cheats on her and run to the guy who would worship the ground she fukcing walks on!! Maybe its because the women I have wanted to hold and cuddle with and talk baby talk with, just were not as DECENT as I am!

Stop putting yourself in a positions where you can become women's emotional tampons. And yes, women who allow men to hit them and cheat on them are not decent. They are low quality. Do not hang out with low quality women. You are to blame for spending time with falling for women who are low quality.

I have never tried alcohol, drugs or even cigarettes because I knew theyre bad for you. I am very proud of that. I have never been arrested, I have been driving for 11 years and have gotten ONE speeding ticket, I have no tattoos no piercings, I have never been fired from a job, never got in trouble in school except for talking out of turn occasionally! These are things I think I should be proud of, not looked down on for!

Come on and live a little, man. Being fat (and possibly hairy) is much worse for you than the occasional alcoholic libation. And it makes Grand Theft Auto that much more fun during your gaming time

Oh but I read on this other board where women say they dont find nice guys sexy because they havent "lived" very much. they dont have much "life experience". Well maybe Im just INNOCENT?? But do they ever stop to think that I have a whole world of love and affection to give?

Sure people who go out and have all these "adventures" in their life may have cool sounding stories to tell their friends. Like 'remember that time we almost got arrested, remember that time I got drunk and puked all over the place, remember that party where me and so&so got in that fight?' But I bet when a lot of that stuff was happening it was pretty unpleasant at the time. And I wonder if during any of those times they ever wish they were at home playing video games and never tried this or that?

Innocence is actually very attractive to women . . . pedophile women like those psycho teachers that nail their students. Normal, well-adjusted adult women are attracted to men with life experiences. Men that go out and live life beyond playing video games and wanting women.

You don't even need to go out and break the law to gain more experience. Take a trip up the coast. Head out to the mountains. Go to a cultural festival or a street parade. Whatever, just get out there and live it up.

Maybe I need to find a woman who has half a brain, who can appreciate a guy who's innocent like me. A woman who DOES want the kind of guy she SHOULD want! Like me!

Sure, there are plenty of women out there that would be willing to go out with you. Unfortunately, the caveats are that the woman is probably going to be/have:

- Older than 35
- Unattractive
- Low self-esteem
- Lazy
- Uneducated
- Poorly traveled
- Mental health issues
- Been "fvcked and chucked" by dozens of guys

So, in short, she's going to be low-quality. If you want a more high quality girl than that, you're going to have to work for it.

 

[BuildingSomethingBig]

Maybe its because the women I have wanted to hold and cuddle with and talk baby talk with, just were not as DECENT as I am!

I think I died a little bit inside after reading that.

 

[Raikojo17]

nothing wrong with being nice. not being nice doesnt mean you have to be a assh0le prick butt wipe. it just means dont be a pushover

I got my gf by being nice to her. she always talks about how sweet and cute i am. but im still not a pushover, and im very sexy around her. I make my desires known. the only difference between AFC's and me is that AFC's hide their desires because they have been taught by their mom's that they are wrong. that's wat's being not nice means, displaying your desires and not being ashamed of them

that's what you need. too many nice guys (hate that term) get the impression that you have to hate women to get them, but that's just an overrated myth

 

[ConantheLibertarian]

Yeah the whole nice guy/bad boy dichotomy needs to be put to rest. Believe it or not, there is a middle ground between bringing flowers on the first date and constantly telling her how all of nature's beauty pales in comparison to hers (ewwww,) and being a tat sporting cycle riding long hair badass who calls his woman bltch and and goes weeks without calling.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

I think you have to lean towards azzhole anyone here that denies is either in denial or not really in the feild.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

the thing about doing the whole freinds first/nice guy/dating routine is that women will often waste your ****ing time and change their minds constantly..

..and not only that but not getting any ***** in the process it's pointless really..

It's like they want a guy to wait for it but they have 3 other dudes after her at once ...

They don't give a **** about us they laugh when they stand us up and leave us with blue-balls..please beleive it.I have a sister,neices,like seven aunts trust me women are just as bad as men if not worse they actually literally laugh at us...

So if you're not going after multiple women at once and nexting girls that give NO type of sexual contact after the first meeting..you sir,are a ****ing jackass...

Cuz they do the same thing to us...

 

[CrunchyNut]

It is only natural to assume that a girl would want somebody that is nice to her, rather than someone that is an absolute nob.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

But usually that isn't the case most girls say they want that but end up with guys that only want her cuz of her body..

 

[Raikojo17]

^^ those girls all have something in common. they are insecure needy, attention starved hos. they play AFC's just for the attention and ego boost. then they lay that guys that they some how feel attracted to and secure from. only to be dropped for the next ho.

confident, secure woman dont pull such BS. they dont need the attention of millions of guys to feel wanted. and if they like you they let you know. if they dont they do the same.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Here's the trick:

Don't ever listen to what she's saying. Instead, watch her behaviour.

All I ever hear from every woman except my Mom and Mrs. K is "wah wahwah, wahwahwhawhawha."

Her body language won't lie. Ever.