Hello! Bare with me if there is something that is already available within these forums regarding my issues. A friend just told me about this site over the weekend and I've yet to catch up on the key posts.
I have two things going on, one being a situation with a girl now that ties into my other issue, my general state of mind/luck lately. I am on a bad several month run with women. The worst part is I get lots of attention from the women I would want to date but it always turns into nothing. Even my friends have taken note of it, the last 3 girls I have met in the last month, all insisted I call them and seriously appeared into me, what normally would surely be at least a date would be me making a call with no response. This has actually been going on for the better part of the last year. I've been going out with girls but never the ones I originally want. Perhaps there is something girls are picking up on with me, my game definitely is shaken to say the least.
An example of how bad my mindset is, my friend and I brought 2 girls back. Mine was clearly into me, I normally do not do the 1 night thing but this girl was totally my type and actually really cute. I wanted to do something but despite knowing it was practically a guarantee, I did nothing, could not bring myself to make a move or say something (i kept telling myself and my friend I drank too much but I didn't). I have become way too timid and over think every move. I basically ended up spooning that chick while my friend did his thing with his girl in the other room, my girl seemed quite put out with me the next morning and of course wants nothing to do with me going forward.
Current situation, there is relatively older bartender (30s) that works in one of the best clubs in town. I've been in there several times, first time I went to her she was flirting, it's her job I thought, though my friends (including another girl) pointed out it was extreme towards me. Next time I go, she remembers me and buys me a shot to start the night. I go back a few weeks later same thing and I get her name and she talks to me for quite a bit and buys me a few shots. Then before the holidays I go there and she just gets me drunk of shots all night and at the end of the night comes out from behind the bar and tells me that she "is so happy to see me when I come" and walks with me to the exit and I get her #.
At this point, so embarrassing I just had no idea what to do, can't seem to tap into my past to figure out what I did before. I do realize I'm probably being to passive, I asked her to get together and to let me serve her drinks for once, she told me she would love to. My response "Great, just let me know when your free sometime". Ugh. I saw her over the weekend again at her work and it was positive, so the next day I extended an invite to join my friends and I out however my wording was "you should join us". Actually got no response. I'll call this one a lost cause I guess.
Most of this is venting, as it does seem to help quite a bit. I guess the question is what can I do to not be so worried about the responses I am going to get back from women? And why is it even harder when I KNOW I am already in with one? It really has been eating at me especially every time I find myself out on a date with a woman I am just not into, but she happened to fall into my lap.
I have two things going on, one being a situation with a girl now that ties into my other issue, my general state of mind/luck lately. I am on a bad several month run with women. The worst part is I get lots of attention from the women I would want to date but it always turns into nothing. Even my friends have taken note of it, the last 3 girls I have met in the last month, all insisted I call them and seriously appeared into me, what normally would surely be at least a date would be me making a call with no response. This has actually been going on for the better part of the last year. I've been going out with girls but never the ones I originally want. Perhaps there is something girls are picking up on with me, my game definitely is shaken to say the least.
An example of how bad my mindset is, my friend and I brought 2 girls back. Mine was clearly into me, I normally do not do the 1 night thing but this girl was totally my type and actually really cute. I wanted to do something but despite knowing it was practically a guarantee, I did nothing, could not bring myself to make a move or say something (i kept telling myself and my friend I drank too much but I didn't). I have become way too timid and over think every move. I basically ended up spooning that chick while my friend did his thing with his girl in the other room, my girl seemed quite put out with me the next morning and of course wants nothing to do with me going forward.
Current situation, there is relatively older bartender (30s) that works in one of the best clubs in town. I've been in there several times, first time I went to her she was flirting, it's her job I thought, though my friends (including another girl) pointed out it was extreme towards me. Next time I go, she remembers me and buys me a shot to start the night. I go back a few weeks later same thing and I get her name and she talks to me for quite a bit and buys me a few shots. Then before the holidays I go there and she just gets me drunk of shots all night and at the end of the night comes out from behind the bar and tells me that she "is so happy to see me when I come" and walks with me to the exit and I get her #.
At this point, so embarrassing I just had no idea what to do, can't seem to tap into my past to figure out what I did before. I do realize I'm probably being to passive, I asked her to get together and to let me serve her drinks for once, she told me she would love to. My response "Great, just let me know when your free sometime". Ugh. I saw her over the weekend again at her work and it was positive, so the next day I extended an invite to join my friends and I out however my wording was "you should join us". Actually got no response. I'll call this one a lost cause I guess.
Most of this is venting, as it does seem to help quite a bit. I guess the question is what can I do to not be so worried about the responses I am going to get back from women? And why is it even harder when I KNOW I am already in with one? It really has been eating at me especially every time I find myself out on a date with a woman I am just not into, but she happened to fall into my lap.
