First post. i need your OPINIONS!

[anonuser78]

First post. i need HELP!

I'll try not to make this too long....
So I met this girl over the summer who had a boyfriend. She is very flirty/friendly so i was confused upon what steps i should take. Now, after getting to know her better, i decided that we have so much in common and that i was somehow going to try and get a more than friends relationship out of this. Problem is, is taht she's about 5 hours away at school. Well my opportunity came this past month. She broke up with her scumbag of a boyfriend last month. I knew from what she had told me that there were other guys that like her, so i finally made my "move" if you want to call it that. I finally mustered up the nutz to tell her over instant messanger (word of advice...AVOID THIS IF YOU CAN!). She forced it out of me and i had about an hour conversation about it with her. She wasn't weirded out, she was somewhat supprised, but after what i thought was ackwardness, she said she'd like to go out on a date next time she came around.

Well, we went on a date and had a jolly old time. Went to dinner and then caught a movie. Nothing spectacular happened but the next day she instant message pounced me and told me what a wonderful time she had....great right?

Well, back to this xboyfriend thing. Before they broke up a month ago, she had plane tickets to go and see him, and she iterated to me how she didn't want to go but he kept pestering her. Well, today ...she went.

I am so confused on what i should do. I want to give her space to get her $hit together, but i know if i'm not aggressive enough i'll lose my chances.
So long story short, should i even bother calling her while she's down there with his family for a week or should i make it seem as i could give 2 $hits?

I know i am pondering way too much and all you long time DJ's are gonna rip me a new one saying who cares, there's a million girls i could go meet, but i hate to say it...i think this one is special to me.

 

[skinnydart]

Think of it as a test. This is your opportunity to prove to her that you're not the clingly, jelous type of guy. This is a major turn off for girls! You're not going to care that she's going to visit her ex because you know you're the prize, you know you're the cooler of the 2 guys.

By not bringing up the subject (in a neg way), you're showing to her that you don't "need" her, that you have real confidence in yourself, which means more points for you.

Don't screw it up, hang tight and pass the test dude, I know it can be hard.

 

[anonuser78]

good advice.. thanks, but one more thing, do u think because it's the holiday coming up this saturday and she'll be gone, should i just hang tight and if she calls me then that's cool, otherwise let it go till she comes back?

 

[skinnydart]

I wouldn't call her, I know it's hard to resisit the temptation. I would wait until she comes back and then just ask "so did you have a good time?"

You're not really going to prove anything to her by calling, but by waiting you're going to...

- show her that you trust her (even if you don't fully, it's points for you if you do.
- show her that you're confident in yourself
- show her that you have a life apart from her (i.e. that you're busy hanging with other cool people for the holidays) Even though she may be the only person that's important to you right now, I wouldn't advertise that, make her start to miss you first.

 

[anonuser78]

don't mean to nag, but i could use a few more suggestions....sorry guys.
thanks

 

[Desdinova]

.i think this one is special to me.

All I've gotta say is you're the rebound guy. It's most likely not going to last very long between you and her. You're best off to keep her around for some fun. If you're developing "feelings" for her (which is what it sounds like), RUN.

 

[NewMan]

I agree, you have rebound all over you.

Now, I would not call her. Don't call her when she's down there.

You are allowing her to take your power away from you.

What you should be doing is having a blast and looking for other women.

Deal with this when she comes back - and don't think about it in the meantime.

Avoid the one-i-tis and thinking of you and her together.

Chances are she's fvcking her ex.

Remember that.

 

[naoi deag se deag]

Here's how you know the ex boyfriend is out of the picture:

If she never brings him up to you.
If you are sleeping with her.

In the first case, she's either a cheat or she's more interested in you. In the second case, who cares?

Otherwise, he's still in the picture.

The only way you can figure out if she's special is if you have something to base that on. So I know it's not what you want to hear, but go meet other women. Then not only will you be ready to handle her and this type of situation, but you'll have met a lot more women. Win-win!

 

[anonuser78]

do i call her back?

haha, i'm such a loser. well she just called me and left a message saying yadda yadda, have a good christmas, i come back on monday night, do you want to do something on tuesday..? so here's the age old question., Should i call her back today? or should i play the waiting game and call either on sunday or monday/? any help would be greatly appreciated. thanks guys, you rox. happy holidays.

 

[DJDamage]

anonuser78 you have done so many things wrong already and the situation is stacked up against you. It won't really matter what you do if you call her now or later, even if you call her now, It looks like she is the one telling you when and where she is ready to see you and you have no power over this because she is going back to school. Maybe if you are lucky you will be getting a kiss but that's pretty much it, she still has not finished her business with her ex.

You are better off forgeting about this chick until she is done her studies and is coming home for the summer and the ex thing is done and over with. In the meanwhile read the DJ Bible and try hooking up with other chicks.

 

[Fenderules]

yeah sorry man you screwed yourself over. have fun!

 

[skinnydart]

... still, I would wait a few days.

 

[Fenderules]

yeah just a few. dont drag thig out for a month

 

[christz]

Originally posted by naoi deag se deag
Here's how you know the ex boyfriend is out of the picture:

If she never brings him up to you.
If you are sleeping with her.

In the first case, she's either a cheat or she's more interested in you. In the second case, who cares?

Otherwise, he's still in the picture.

The only way you can figure out if she's special is if you have something to base that on. So I know it's not what you want to hear, but go meet other women. Then not only will you be ready to handle her and this type of situation, but you'll have met a lot more women. Win-win!

i'm gonna have to call BS on one of your points.

just because she's sleeping with you or any girl for that matter doesn't mean she's incredibly intrested in you. Right i know who cares but don't confuse her having sex with you, with the assumption that she's "so into you"

other things have to follow, if you bang the first time you hang out with the girl, chances are sex to her is just a feel good sport and she's about something more than that when it comes to winning her intrest

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Re: First post. i need HELP!

Originally posted by anonuser78
Before they broke up a month ago, she had plane tickets to go and see him, and she iterated to me how she didn't want to go but he kept pestering her. Well, today ...she went.

Don't be a pest - leave her alone! - she did what she wanted to do!!!!!

 

[stevey_2000]

WHAT?!?!

gone to see the ex?, it appears to me that your in the LJBF category mate, i'd knock this one on the head and move onto better things, if she's really interested (which i doubt) then she'll come running after you!!

 

[Lysol]

yeah bro, the i believe her being with the xboyfriend is bad news! she could talk as sweet as she wants and i would not believe it. let me tell you something...ive been that guy that bangs the girl, and while we're still laying naked next to each other, she still has the nerve to call and talk sweet to her boyfriend! lol, i was shocked the first time this happened, but had it happened with 2 other bytches . mind you, if i dont know who the man is, it aint my fault. women are sooo scandelous fellas!