"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

First post, help an old wolf.

RabidDog

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(sorry long) great forum here guys! :D


Well I used to be a experienced DJ, then I got one-itis and had a long relationship that lasted 3 years. Ive been through, quite a few girls since the b/u, but this one presents an odd problem.


We met about 4 weeks ago on a car forum, we talked on AIM and on the phone for hours. (which I hate but perhaps one-itis was making its first showing) Anyway she lives in NC and I live in TN. Now a long time ago I gave myself some cardinal rules to follow if I ever wanted a LTR again.

#1 Local girls only (no LDR's)
#2 Has to be attractive
#3 No kids
#4 No flakes
#5 No snobs

Well this one breaks 1 and 3, and somewhat #2. The rest just magically appeared over the last week. So automatically I know i should next her. But I developed #$@$# feelings. Im 28, shes 20 and i guess Im having a bit of oh-crap-am-I-old-itis. Anyway she always gets mad when I do things or tell her whats bugging me,a nd she just balls her **** up and holds it in for later. She is a flirt *****, which pisses me off, but no biggie. She is always acting flakey lately and always dissapearing. We finally saw each other, 2 weeks ago (before the wierdness) and we slept together. The next morning she got really odd, but I let it slide. Then after I cam back to TN, she started the dissapearing act, and acting odd. So well I go to visit her again "to talk" and well, lol we ended up screwing all weekend. Which after we had one "serious talk" she seemed fine, then I left. I get back home thinking everything is fine and peachy, then she gets online and is totally a *****. I get pissed and called her, and she starts saying how she didnt want to say she was mad at me for "the talk" we had wtf???!?!?! and that we should "take a break" I said fine with me, and she acted more normal, said I love you and all that garb, then got off the phone. Then flash forward to today, shes all dry and *****y on AIM saying she was thinking all night...:rolleyes: to which I act cool no afc behavior for that convo anyway. So I block and ignore her until i get home. she calls, acts all giggly, and happy. but no mention of b/f g/f talk. Like we just met, and hadnt screwed for hours literally a day before..... she is either nuts or I am. I apologise for the erratic typing but this is alot to type. ;) so any questions I can answer. Help an old wolf to get out of this and back to my non AFC self.

Regards,

Rabid
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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ematsuda

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you neglected to say what the "serious talk" was about. That's the key.

One thing for sure, she's very inconsistent and it's because she's 20.
 

RabidDog

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Sorry my fault. The serious talk was about my ****yness, and how she likes my personality over anything else. The way she said it put me in the mind of a "diss". But we talked more and ended up having a good talk. So naturally, i was surprised when she said she was pissed about it.

I've dated younger, and they were waaaay more mature and even keeled.
 

ematsuda

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Do you take every phone call she makes to you? Especially after you've just seen her? How about being a challenge once in a while. Let her calls/AIM/email backup for a couple days if she's getting out of control on you.
 

RabidDog

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yep, but then so did she. If she's reverted to "the old days" then whats the use of being a challenge? And I think she is already there....So I think im supposed to wait on her, or dump her. She did say we should have been friends first, then lovers..... lol

[edit]

shes online and keep's trieng to go un-idle.... so the window pops up, :rolleyes: she usually calls after 9.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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You obviously have no other options if you are going a few states over to get a mediocre girl? Why?

This won't last long - so you shouldn't put too much time and effort into this chick - go shopping locally and find 2 or 3 more. You can't be seeing her too often, concentrate on something more worthy at home.
 

RabidDog

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Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
You obviously have no other options if you are going a few states over to get a mediocre girl? Why?

This won't last long - so you shouldn't put too much time and effort into this chick - go shopping locally and find 2 or 3 more. You can't be seeing her too often, concentrate on something more worthy at home.
I hate local girls, and in my time I've run through a few, lol. So any options here are simply and best described as squat. And I didn't intend a cross state trip, it just happened.

So thats two votes for "nexting her"?

[edit] she keeps asking what, I'm doing and who im seeing. :rolleyes: :D
 

Ice Cold

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Cut the losses. next her. Find another one.

If you continue, you're gonna end up hurting yourself.
 

RabidDog

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I respect PRL and Ice, as well as the other voices. So, consider it done as soon as morning comes.

Regards,

Rabid
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Wyldfire

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Originally posted by RabidDog
(sorry long) great forum here guys! :D


Well I used to be a experienced DJ, then I got one-itis and had a long relationship that lasted 3 years. Ive been through, quite a few girls since the b/u, but this one presents an odd problem.


We met about 4 weeks ago on a car forum, we talked on AIM and on the phone for hours. (which I hate but perhaps one-itis was making its first showing) Anyway she lives in NC and I live in TN. Now a long time ago I gave myself some cardinal rules to follow if I ever wanted a LTR again.

#1 Local girls only (no LDR's)
#2 Has to be attractive
#3 No kids
#4 No flakes
#5 No snobs

Well this one breaks 1 and 3, and somewhat #2. The rest just magically appeared over the last week. So automatically I know i should next her. But I developed #$@$# feelings. Im 28, shes 20 and i guess Im having a bit of oh-crap-am-I-old-itis. Anyway she always gets mad when I do things or tell her whats bugging me,a nd she just balls her **** up and holds it in for later. She is a flirt *****, which pisses me off, but no biggie. She is always acting flakey lately and always dissapearing. We finally saw each other, 2 weeks ago (before the wierdness) and we slept together. The next morning she got really odd, but I let it slide. Then after I cam back to TN, she started the dissapearing act, and acting odd. So well I go to visit her again "to talk" and well, lol we ended up screwing all weekend. Which after we had one "serious talk" she seemed fine, then I left. I get back home thinking everything is fine and peachy, then she gets online and is totally a *****. I get pissed and called her, and she starts saying how she didnt want to say she was mad at me for "the talk" we had wtf???!?!?! and that we should "take a break" I said fine with me, and she acted more normal, said I love you and all that garb, then got off the phone. Then flash forward to today, shes all dry and *****y on AIM saying she was thinking all night...:rolleyes: to which I act cool no afc behavior for that convo anyway. So I block and ignore her until i get home. she calls, acts all giggly, and happy. but no mention of b/f g/f talk. Like we just met, and hadnt screwed for hours literally a day before..... she is either nuts or I am. I apologise for the erratic typing but this is alot to type. ;) so any questions I can answer. Help an old wolf to get out of this and back to my non AFC self.

Regards,

Rabid
Um, you've just known this girl for 4 weeks and have only seen her once and you have feelings for her? She's avoiding you online because you've latched onto her like she's some young life preserver for some pre-mature mid life crisis you're having. Dude, you're only 28 years old. This girl is barely out of highschool and appears to be trolling for men online. You'd be foolish to think you're the only one she's talking to and meeting.

You're just feeling like you're getting old (which you aren't) and just from your post it's obvious that the only thing you really like about this girl is that she's young. Smarten up. Find someone local who you are actually compatible with and don't worry about nearing 30. It's no big deal and the only barrier turning 30 causes is the one in your own head.

Stop writing to this girl, she's avoiding you which means she's no longer interested and is most likely making plans to meet some other sucker from the internet.
 
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1. Your not old kid. Try being 44 and dating a 28 year old.

2. Dump this one. She is too young to even know what she wants...and if this is what's to come...your better off with just your right hand on a cold assed night.
 

princelydeeds

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At 20 most people (b!tches especially) don't know what they want tomorrow let alone for the rest of their lives. This chick is young and flakey, let her go. You sound like an emtional, fall in love type of guy. Nothign wrong with that, but be careful, only give your heart to someone who will respect and value your feelings, someone who will treasure your love and return even more love to you.

I'm a little jaded. I could talk to her every day, bang her 100x's and stilll feel no love for her. I don't think your built the same way emotionally as myself. SO becareful, only give yourself to women of virtue, class, and good heart. This chick sounds like she has zero substance.
 

RabidDog

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I "care" for her, she was the one that brought the "love you" stuff into it, and well I did want some tail, lol. I am emotional and a fall in love type guy to some extent. But I have been DJ'ng since I was 16, and just recently re-entered the dating world. And from what I've seen these last few days you guys are correct. Shes flaky and pulls guys from all over apparantly. I think she just likes the attention and wanted an escape from her life as a young mother, well that and she's a ho. It's bugging me, not because I love her or even care all that much. It just bugs me when some dumb 8itch cuts all contact after getting her temp kicks in. Guess karma is kicking me in the ass, lol.

I wish I could warn the next guy in line. I've already got 2 others lined up, so no biggie I suppose. But its still bugging my gut. And thanks guys, I don't feel so old now. I appreciate everyones comments/help.

Regards,

Rabid
 

Kidquick

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I've been seeing a 20 year old now for a little over a week, (I'm 27), and I can tell ya that the age difference is definitly a red flag - I really dig her but I have to admit, I don't trust her at all...YET. Since she lives so far away and has already proved to be unreliable, your best bet would be cut your losses and bail out now - you'll thank yourself later.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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RabidDog

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Im trieng. Im avoding her calls and IM's, but that's only encouraging her. She has the "Only want what I can't have" thing going strong. Bah, my god I hate that.

My last LDR I was 25 and she was 17. When she turned 20 she went ape-$hit insane. (hence break-up) Maybe 20 is an odd age for a woman.

Now she wants me to be with her on her 21st birthday next week. Why? so we can screw more, (hmmm, lol) I can spend time/money/resources I have little of, to only get back and get that "just left the strip club" feeling?

again, bah

-Rabid
 
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