first post--first phone conversation

[hamelech]

What's up guys...This is a long rant about my life so if you don't want to read this whole post, the short version of my question is just this: What are some good tips for phone conversations especially the first call?

I've been cheking out this website off and on for a while and finally decided to weigh in...Since this is my first post, I want to give a little background on myself...I'm 25 and throughout my life I've had average to good success with women...In high school and college(the year and a half I was there) I was pretty popular, being voted on homecoming court, nominated for prom king etc. etc. I was probably like alot of young guys just trying to bang as many girls as possible, and being pretty successful...Not long after my short stint in college, I also had a short stint in the army (I liked to fight back then too :woo: :box: ) after that I got in my longest relationship at the time which was 9 months...Two months after that I got in my longest relationship ever which was almost two years...I'm at the point now that I'm not trying to bang alot of different girls but I really want to get to know someone and eventually get married and have kids...I have a few problems though...I think in some ways because that's my mindset it may come off as being needy...Second I've always went after the hot, fast and easy girls so its hard for me to know how to distinguish and/or nab the hot good girls now..and last I'm not very good at phone converstion, never have been...In person If I can get past the approach, I pretty good, especially with kino. However on the phone I get distracted by my surroundings (tv, radio etc) or I just draw a blank...I once got 27 numbers in one night (1997 personal record lol). I used to smoke a lot of weed back then too and for me when I'm high I turn into Goldie...lol...but that's another issue. Anyway out those 27 numbers, only 4 or 5 were fake and I still only ended up seeing like two or three of them again...So now for last night's scenario

I was at the club I see this beautiful girl dancing with two friends...So I start thinking of how I could approach her. At one point her friends were dancing but she wanted to take a break so she went to sit down while they were motioning for her to come back...So I took this as my opportunity...I walked over and said..."Hey, I think those two girls are trying to get your attention." She smiled and said "yeah I can see that" and I'm like "ok, I just didn't want you to get in trouble" she smiled and I walked off...(Now that I think about it was kind of lame but somehow it worked)...a few minutes later she made herself available by walking by me again...we exchanged names and smiles and she asked me where I was from...I told her...then I kinda danced away from her into the crowd... :rock: a few minutes later she was dancing, so I kinda dance up to her and she pushed me away with the really big "no way buddy", finger wagging hand gesture :nono: my buddies were right there and Im sure a lot of people saw it...really embarrasing but I made a great recovery...Another few minutes later she was dancing with her back towards me and taking small steps backwards...When she got within arm reach I pushed her away and gave her and even bigger "no way buddy" hand gesture :nono: ...to which she burst out laughing and tried to return it...I went back to dancing and from that point it was on...bumping into me "accidentally" and me pretending to be harrassed by her...once we started talking because of the noise in the club we would have to take turns in the other's ear...Whenever she tried to go left and I tried to go right and our faces passed by each other I would accuse her of trying to kiss me and tell her to stop...anyway conversation went great with me teasing her constantly and her smiling and laughing alot...She even told me at one point, "You just keep getting me...It's like you have this great instinct" Then...the ex shows up...We're at the door of the club at this point just barely inside the club and one of the workers says something about this guy (the ex) wanting to talk to her outside...She say's "Its my ex. Can you wait for me one minute?" At this point I'm thinking oh crap" Two minutes pass and I'm thinking I'm not going to stand here like a lame :nervous: so I go back in the club thinking she was the one that got away" a few minutes later to my surprise she taps me on my shoulder...Long story short we exchanged numbers and I made her promise to call me at a specific time which is tomorrow night at 9. That way I can see just how interested she really is and if she doesn't call I have something to fuss and tease her about when I call the next day...This girl really impressed me for a few reasons...I know she was very attracted to me but she still didn't let me kiss her and told me very seriously but still in a humble way that "I don't just kiss guys that I meet, I'm looking for a serious relationship" She seems sincere...She was very sexy but she wasn't showing alot of skin...and she didn't dance all hoish either before or after I met her and danced with her...And she has a great sense of humor (aka she laughed at all my jokes) So now after all that can someone help me with their best phone advice for either of the two scenarios (If she calls me first or if I call her)...On one hand I'm hoping she calls because otherwise I might have to face that first conversation where they act like they don't know you and they're mad you called...On the other she might try to catch me off guard and call when I'm not expecting it... but anyway thanks for taking the hour and a half to read my post lol Nowsomebody school me on how to talk to women on the phone...

 

[hamelech]

I know there's gotta be a dj that's a master of phone convo

 

[JJMcLure]

The chances of her calling are slim, more likely you'll have to call her (the NEXT day or one after - not when she promised to call you, like you'd been waiting for it).

Frankly, getting numbers in bars and clubs tends to results in more flakes. Chicks are there to have a good time and if something happens "on the spur of the moment" and that night, so be it. They generally look for LTR material from other parts of their lives.

On phone game, the phone is used for setting up meetings, not for chatting (she chats with her girlfriends on the phone - you don't want to become one). Keep phone convo's short - call up, fluff talk to regain some rapport and then suggest a "date". Then get off the phone.

On your wider mindset - if you've had "average to good" success with chicks in the past, don't try to totally change your game. Although you say you want a LTR, these start with the same as any other relationship you've had before, they just DEVELOP differently. Also, don't try to differentiate between the "fast and easy" and "good" chicks and treat them differently - all chicks respond to the same underlying tactics. So keep using the behaviours you used in the past that got you success, but develop further through this site and other material.

 

[hamelech]

The chances of her calling are slim, more likely you'll have to call her (the NEXT day or one after - not when she promised to call you, like you'd been waiting for it).

I totally agree with this first point --my thoughts exactly, girls especially attractive girls will hardly ever call you first...On the second part about keeping it short on the phone...I pretty much agree too but she's in the military so I'm thinking that it will probably be about a week before I could see her again...If I set up a date with her tomorrow do you think its better to give her a call back a couple days after that to kinda keep the repor going or just like the night before...also I still would like to know if anyone has any good ways to get over that initial coldness you get from women on the first call...You know when they talk to you like you're a telemarketer or something...I might say something like "Did somebody braid your hair too tight or something...You sound like you're in pain" lol actually I just thought of that...got any more?

 

[sorin]

The first call can be a "good night" message.
"Hi. I just called to say good night" + a little chit chat. Girls to that to me when they care for me. Model that and do the exact same to them so they know you care for them.

When they know you care for them, they can open up sexually .

And about phone game in general...

just be relax... and create rapport through your voice tone, speak slowly after you've had some rapport... and use your imagination to engage hers...

relax... enjoy and talk to your lover...

do that and she'll definetly want to feel that in person as well...

take care.

What are some good tips for phone conversations especially the first call?

 

[hamelech]

The first call can be a "good night" message.
"Hi. I just called to say good night" + a little chit chat.

I kinda like that maybe I can alter it and tell her I'm calling to tuck her in and play the daddy role...

 

[sorin]

do that as long as it is or sounds honest and showing you care.. and are there for you...

show her the behaviour you would have in a long term relationship and she will feel close to you and want to get even closer (sex)

 

[hamelech]

do that as long as it is or sounds honest and showing you care.. and are there for you...

show her the behaviour you would have in a long term relationship and she will feel close to you and want to get even closer (sex)

Yeah I do care so that won't be too hard...Its more a question of how much to act like I don't care

 

[hamelech]

Seems to be progressing nicely

I'm meeting her this Saturday...It has been a challenge...I'm in Israel and she is in the military...Because of this she has a very limited number of days off...So the challenge has been working around her schedule for calls/dating without making it seem like I'm working around her schedule...Basically the way I've been handling it is saying stuff like...Just tell your commander who I am and he'll be sure to give you time off etc...Whenever I call and she doesn't answer or calls me later, I say something like "Now you're in trouble for not answering etc..." She always explains blah blah...but I've kept it light...She seems very nice...We'll meet in a coffe shop but I'm trying to decide where to go from there...any suggestions guys?