First post, and I need help

[nfef]

Through randomness in a IRC channel I followed a link here and i've been lurking for a couple days now.

I was reading a few articles posted here and this jumped out at me

Unfortunately, not all guys start flirting and macking in elementary school. Some never have the opportunity. They get moved around too much, or are overprotected, or for whatever reasons just happen to find Quake III more entertaining than interacting with people. Because of that, lots of guys reach 16 or 17 or, hell, 20, not having a clue about women.

This is me in a nutshell, and i'm sick of it and been ready to change it for awhile now. I had a revelation recently that i'm going to be 21 in 3 months and I'm really not looking forward to being old enough to buy alcohol but still carrying around my V-card. How I managed to get past high school and a couple years out of it and still be a virgin is a combination of lack of opportunity (I don't really go out, although friends are always inviting me to clubs and strip joints), lack of effort on my part (up until recently the opposite sex has never really attracted me past the stage of eye candy), and basically no confidence in my ability to pull a girl because i'm overweight.

Basically you can sum everything i've said above in that paragraph in this sentence: So far in my life when it comes to the opposite sex i've been a complete loser, but I have no problem with that because i'm ready to change it.

My first main issue is my weight. I'm 6'3 252lbs and I haven't been happy with it in a long time. Whether it's true or not I believe this is the first roadblock in my path to DJ status.

Any advice you have for me or a direction to point me in, i'm all ears.

 

[frivolousz21]

WELCOME!

first off start reading:


http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/


at the same time.

its time for self improvement.

if you dont want to hit the weights, then start some cardio program to lose that weight.

you dont have to be all bulked up to be an attractive mate.

then work on all the things you want to be and strive to be.

and I also suggest a boot camp!

 

[Skel]

Boot camp! It may sound dumb but its there for a reason.

 

[ARK]

Originally posted by nfef
My first main issue is my weight. I'm 6'3 252lbs and I haven't been happy with it in a long time. Whether it's true or not I believe this is the first roadblock in my path to DJ status.

I have some advice for you here. A couple years ago I weighed in at 230lbs. and 6ft. Last year I got out of a relationship with this psycho health nut girl and I decided that I was going to lose weight. I switched from Coke, Mountain Dew, etc. to the diet versions. By cutting out pop I lost 20 lbs. without working out.

It was simply an attitude change. Once I lost the 20 lbs. I started feeling better about myself. It made me want to lose more. Over the winter I gained 10 back but it made my resolve stronger. This spring I dropped diet drinks and went to water. I drink water all the time now. The only time I will have a soda is if I go out to eat. Thats the only time. This morning I weighed in at 196. I have nearly dropped 40 lbs. off of my frame just by cutting out pop. I have gained a huge boost in self confidence and I notice that I watch what I eat now as well. I don't eat tons of stuff like I used to. It's all an attitude change really. Once you lose the first 20 lbs. you won't look back and you will keep going. I set goals for myself 5 lbs. at a time. So far I've met each one. Try it starting today. Couple it with working out and I'm sure you will have even better success. I feel like girls look at me in a different light now. Everywhere I go I notice girls flirting with me more. Good luck.

 

[Kcman]

you say just from pop , how long did that take , cuz ive tried and tried to cut out pop but i cant make it through a day without drinking some sort of soft drink. can water be replaced with flavored water ?

 

[pressure0354]

yeah exactly. I think pop is the one of the biggest reason kids are overweight. I used to drink atleast 4 cans a day. Once I started drinking diet and doing a little exercise, I immediatly starting loosing weight.

SO first thing, stop drinking pop and other drinks. Drink more water. I personally get all my calories from food alone.


Next is don't worry about the V-Card. I didn't loose mine until about 4 months ago AFTER I turned 21. I was thinkin' the same thing. My friends would always talk about some girl they landed and screwed and I would always remain quiet. Just don't worry about it. I told my GF that I lost it with her and she loves me even more because of that fact.

 

[DJohnson]

Originally posted by nfef
Through randomness in a IRC channel I followed a link here and i've been lurking for a couple days now.

I was reading a few articles posted here and this jumped out at me



This is me in a nutshell, and i'm sick of it and been ready to change it for awhile now. I had a revelation recently that i'm going to be 21 in 3 months and I'm really not looking forward to being old enough to buy alcohol but still carrying around my V-card. How I managed to get past high school and a couple years out of it and still be a virgin is a combination of lack of opportunity (I don't really go out, although friends are always inviting me to clubs and strip joints), lack of effort on my part (up until recently the opposite sex has never really attracted me past the stage of eye candy), and basically no confidence in my ability to pull a girl because i'm overweight.

Basically you can sum everything i've said above in that paragraph in this sentence: So far in my life when it comes to the opposite sex i've been a complete loser, but I have no problem with that because i'm ready to change it.

My first main issue is my weight. I'm 6'3 252lbs and I haven't been happy with it in a long time. Whether it's true or not I believe this is the first roadblock in my path to DJ status.

Any advice you have for me or a direction to point me in, i'm all ears.

Well fitness is not everything, but it is important. Focus on trimming down, but more importantly focus on having a fun attractive NON WUSSY personality. It relly DOES matter who you are inside with women, much more than for us. So although you do well to lose weight, you do better to become cooler,more fun, and more socially intelligent.

 

[ARK]

Originally posted by Kcman
you say just from pop , how long did that take , cuz ive tried and tried to cut out pop but i cant make it through a day without drinking some sort of soft drink. can water be replaced with flavored water ?

It doesn't take long. Just force yourself. I know when I was addicted to pop I hated the taste of water. I disliked it. After a while of drinking it though I loved it. I actually crave water now. Pop almost tastes too sweet for me now. It's actually become more of a treat than the usual drink. For me its all water now. I would think the flavored waters would work just as well. Now I drink around three 24oz. of Dasani a day. I actually have one at work that I just refill with the water machine. Pop it in the freezer and get it out before it totally freezes. Bust up the ice and it stays cold for a long time.

 

[Porky]

Read this!

It's one of the best threads on this board (there are five parts to it)

 

[blinkwatt]

self improvement will lead you in the right direction. start off by
1.shaving everyday
2.showering everday
3.combing you hair everyday
4.getting a hair cut every other week or every three
5.buy some decent clothes to match your personality
6.buy at least 3 different colognes,nice ones,i recommend allure by chanel,raw vanilla by coty,and boss in motion by hugo boss(all smell different and are great)
7.look forward to everything even i you dont like it,make the best out a horrible situation

 

[MindOverMatter]

First of all, it is possible to attract girls even when you are out of shape, but!

1.) it is much harder. they will be harder to pick up, may be more flaky, and require lots of patience and a strong game.
2.) you have to be confident in yourself and half strong self-esteem. if you are out of shape and you don't like how you look, you will not be able to pick up girls.

From your post, I can tell you have a problem in #2.

I'll just give you a bit of my background. 5 years ago I was 6'2, 230+ lbs, and had a very high bodyfat 25-30% (if not higher, i didn't measure). I had a decent sized gut that came from many good nights of drinking, buffets, and junk food. Here are some photos:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v632/Mind_Over_Matter/Picture89.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v632/Mind_Over_Matter/Pic1.jpg

I still had girlfriends at the time because I did not care about how I looked, the way I saw it at the time, having a gut and being happy was better then having a 6 pack and having to deprive yourself of things. Little did I know.

Anyway I was getting closer to my university graduation, and after that I planned on pursuing a career in either law enforcement (since I had a degree in psychology with a minor in criminology) or fire fighting. I visited several classes where recruits were training, and saw the shape these guys were in. That was the turning point. I told myself that if I wanted a career I loved, I would have to make changes in my lifestyle, get in shape. etc.

So I graduated, and started working on bettering myself for my career. I started educating myself on fitness, and reading as many things as my mind could absorb.

I bought Arnold's Encyclopedia of Modern Bodybuilding, which inspired me to keep researching. I started reading www.bodybuilding.com exclusively, and started learning about different methods of getting into shape, and listening to lots of opinions.

To save you time, just start reading this http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=316377
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=292244
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=101841

Post questions if you need help, people there will help you out. Also you may want to check out the Don Juan Health & Fitness forum, we help people there all the time.

Anyway back to my life story...

So I educated myself, and with all this new knowledge, I couldn't wait to start working out. At first I realized that I had way too much fat on my body, and before I could think of looking muscular, I had to lose it.

So I started doing lots of cardio and eating clean. I gave up junk food, I gave up booze, and I started taking care of my health. The first month was the hardest. I made a specific goal to live this way for *1 month*, just to prove to myself that I could do it.

Eventually that month passed without me relapsing. After completing 1 successful month of my new lifestyle, I knew that I could keep doing this, so I kept making monthly goals, and achieving them. Eventually, I lost all the fat (around 60 lbs), and was at like 170-175, was very very cut, but was skinny as hell.

Here is a photo of a skinny, 170lbs MindOverMatter:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v632/Mind_Over_Matter/Pic2.jpg

The transformation was huge, but it wasn't over yet. Now I was motivated to start lifting, and keep gaining weight. So I started lifting iron, and trying out different workout routines, seeing what gave me good results, seeing what didn't, changing things around, but ALWAYS being dedicated. I'd look forward to every workout, and I'd never miss one. Consistency was key.

Fast-forward to today (the pic is in the center flexing is at 208 or 210 lbs, I'm currently 214-215):

http://photobucket.com/albums/v632/Mind_Over_Matter/?action=view&current=mindcollage.jpg

How has my lifestyle changed since then?

My personality is the same as it was back then really. My confidence, while it was pretty high even back when I was out of shape became even higher. Once I was in amazing shape, my options increased a lot, and as a result, I became more critical of who I dated, and thus put up with less sh!t.

What has changed? I went from chasing girls / numbers / dealing with flakes to having them chase me, ask me out, and me flaking out on them. I went from getting c0ckblocked by their friends, to having their friends c0ckblock THEM.

I also do personal training, and one of my friends/female clients tells me all these stories of girls I never even met talking about me in the girls gym locker room and saying how they want to see me naked and all this other filthy sh!t.

What I'm trying to tell you here is that IT CAN BE DONE. Stop being lazy, stop wasting time on sh!t that doesn't benefit you. Sure sitting on your ass and playing a game, watching tv, or eating junkfood, or even getting pissed drunk every night can make you happy. But that's short term happyness. In the long term, this is a poisoneous lifestyle man.

Always focus on the longterm. Make goals, be dedicated to them, and achieve them.

If I can do this, so can you.

Best of luck.


p.s. if you need any help, or more detailed advice, PM me.

 

[Bonhomme]

6'3" 253lb ain't bad

Believe me, it's a hell of a lot better than being too skinny, nfef. I've been there. Now I'm up to about 180 lb at 6'1", which is still not quite where I want to be, but has brought me much more positive attention than when I was 145 lb, and even 160 lb.

Sh1t, you looked good, MOM, even at 230. On appearance alone, most any gal would have picked you over all but the most attractive 6', 150 lb guy.

I see lots of hot women with stocky guys, nfef. As long as you look masculine, rather than soft & pudgy. If you look too soft, cutting up will help a lot.

Definitely go to the Health & Fitness forum. Last I saw there was a good sticky on top about cutting up.

Arright. Go to it, and welcome!