First night together

[PokerJohn94]

Ok. So I offered my "GF" to stay the night with me. What a disaster. When I offered it via phone, our conversation went like this:

She - This Friday? Why this Friday?
Me - Because I need you THIS Friday!
She - But I am on my period.
Me - C'mon seriously??? Don't bull**** me!
She - Ok, ok I am joking.

Ok, she is at my room. We are together making out in the bed. She had this sweatshirt with a zipper, and I don't know why, I needed to wrestle to get it off, but of course It was off. Ok, we keep making out, the t-short gets lost. So does the bra. But she does not let me see her boobs, but gets really close to me, lets me touch them, but when I lean back, to watch them, she starts giggling (18 years old), and covers herself with arms, other times rolls on her stumick. Defuq?!?!

OK, try to get that out of my head (she doesn't mind me, to kiss her breasts under the blanket, when she doesn't see that I am looking at them btw. wtf...) So I carry on, and try to unbutton hers jeans, and than basically, she says, that she told me, that she has a period.

So in the night, she jerked me off twice, and I fingered her, trough the period. Some of you make think, it is disgusting, but I am 18 years old (still a fking virgin ), and I needed to get at least some action, so the whole night doesn't go to waste. When she was jerking me off, I asked her, do you like what you are doing, and she didn't reply to me, just smiled, and kept doing it faster.

When I asked her, why did you come to spend the night with me, if you have period, she replied:"Just for fun."

Ok, my questions are:

1)Is it normal, that girl doesn't want you to see her naked, while laying on you the whole night naked covering with the blanket.

2)Why did she come to me. Was it really just for fun (as if she has not much respect for me), or did she really wanted to come anyways, but didn't want to scare me off with her being on period.

 

[LearningSlowly]

True relationships are founded on love and trust. Expose your flaws to each other more openly and you will have a more enjoyable experience. You need to love her unconditionally, but also draw clear lines and show what your opinions are.

Women are very perceptive, work on showing your opinion silently and find that she will often understand it.

 

[iamnobody]

True relationships are founded on love and trust. Expose your flaws to each other more openly and you will have a more enjoyable experience. You need to love her unconditionally

This is the most toxic advice ever given. When you give your love is unconditional, what is it worth? Nothing. It has no value in the eyes of the girl because she has not earned it. She's on a pedestal.
If you love her unconditionally you're setting yourself on a path of being taken for granted and, of course your are entering a world of pain.
Expose your flaws? No. Under no circumstances. You are the man, you don't show your weakness. You might show some weakness, but flash it only momentarily - in order to create more comfort.

Is it normal, that girl doesn't want you to see her naked, while laying on you the whole night naked covering with the blanket.

The reason why she won't let you see her naked is, most likely, because she is not exactly comfortable with the way she looks, or you seeing her. Don't make a big deal out of it. She will whenever she is comfortable with it. Give it a bit more time.

2)Why did she come to me. Was it really just for fun (as if she has not much respect for me), or did she really wanted to come anyways, but didn't want to scare me off with her being on period.

About your other question... just for fun might as well mean "because I'm interested in you". Mark these words as they will be important throughout your life
Judge by the actions, not by words.

 

[LearningSlowly]

What you're describing is the difference between superficial relationships and lasting, loving ones. Guess which I prefer.

OP is already in a superficial relationship. He is unhappy. I want to give him a chance to be happy.

 

[iamnobody]

If unconditional love is the recipe to happiness, every AFC out there would be happy. Are they happy?

 

[NorwegianDJ]

If unconditional love is the recipe to happiness, every AFC out there would be happy. Are they happy?

Are you suggesting that a long term relationship is a strained effort between two people? Given the theory you've put forth, that is how it sounds like.

Given that the girl responds the same way - unconditional love - it in no way puts her on a pedestal (I'd rather say your advice does - as you put in effort to not appear weak and in control). How can you be happy in a relationship if you have to put up a front?

I don't mean to be bashing you, but sometimes one has to let go of theory and use common sense.

I think LS's advice is extremely accurate, but completely misplaced. No one here is going to successfully follow the advice he gave. It's rather a thing to realize and work on after one has gone through these stages and feel more self-worthy.

 

[iamnobody]

Not suggesting a strained effort at all. Love should be there, but it should not be unconditional. Unconditional love is a sure way to get stuck in oneitis. You should show your love but not very often for obvious reasons. This is not theory, this is experience.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Not suggesting a strained effort at all. Love should be there, but it should not be unconditional. Unconditional love is a sure way to get stuck in oneitis. You should show your love but not very often for obvious reasons. This is not theory, this is experience.

But if you have self-worth and abundance, why would you get oneitis?

 

[LearningSlowly]

I think LS's advice is extremely accurate, but completely misplaced. No one here is going to successfully follow the advice he gave. It's rather a thing to realize and work on after one has gone through these stages and feel more self-worthy.

I agree.

I realized after being criticized that my advice applies only when the man is secure enough to drop any girl who will not love him for who he is. I am confident and strong enough to comb through women for one who shares my capacity for love. If you are neither confident nor strong, you will have a hard time when you try to love people, because they may not truly love you back.