"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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First LTR may be coming to an end

confusion

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I've been an afc my whole life. Fed up once I got to college, I vowed to change my ways. After lurking the forums for a few months I picked up on a few ways to work on my inner game, and it landed me with a great chick. I've been in an LTR for about 4 months, maybe more, and I'm having serious trouble deciding if I should end it. I have no real reason for ending it other than the fact that its starting to get boring. This girl has been nothing but great to me, and loves me to death, but it just feels like its getting old, and it seems like a disservice to myself to keep this going (especially while I'm still young and in college).
My ambivalence stems from a few things. One is the loss of consistent, everyday *****. As of now I feel like ill be fine with that because sex isnt so special when you get lots of it (not trying to brag), but in about two weeks I think I'll be kicking myself. Another thing thats killing me is that I feel like one of those heartless *****es that I've had to put up with in my life, who just sh!ts on me for trying to be nice to her. The look of pure terror and fright that was in her eyes behind the tears was so gut wrenching that I almost felt like crying too. I like this girl, but its just been getting repetitive, and I've been growing too complacent.
Another thing that scares me is I fear that I will never find a girl who loves me this whole heartedly again. I never thought that I would grow to dislike being liked so much....I feel like she's the AFC! Its ironic that I manage to be unhappy with myself on both sides of the table....
Ultimately this is all up to me, but I just felt the need to gain perspective from anyone out there who has been in similar situations, it would greatly aid in the decision making process to hear the wisdom of others with more experience than me.
Thanks to all who read and/or respond

PEACE :rockon:

-the confused
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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PRMoon

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Let me be the first to welcome you to being human. You're going to have a lot of decisions to make between now and the time you die so it's best you get a handle on things as soon as possible.

First off, despite what you may think, breaking up with a girlfriend will only do significant harm to you or her if that's what you want to happen. The chance of this being your one and only in a world of billions is unlikely at best. Yes it is more than likely you will feel some kind of remorse if you break up with her. You two must have some kind of bond developed if you've been together for 4 months. Conversely 4 months out of 18-21 years isn't all that much time in comparison so you'll get over it if that's the route you decide to take.

I'd also like to you to think about where you're going to be in the next 4 month's if you're already having these kinds of doubts linger about your mind now. Right now if you break up with her, with a clear mind and your wits about you, the chances of it being a clean break with few hurt feelings are high. If you drag it out and play like things are fine, chances are good it will show on your person, which she'll pick up on pushing it towards one of those ugly "I WISH I NEVER MET YOU" break ups. Honestly I could and have dealt with both and neither is all that bad, but the drama in the latter I would advise avoiding if possible.

Do what you want but know few things last forever and there's a big world out there to explore with lots of possibilities. My advice is to ask yourself what you really want and deep down you'll give yourself an answer. Go with that and you'll do fine.
 

confusion

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Thanks man, that was a great post. I guess nothing will make me feel completely comfortable about the situation. It's killing me tho cause there are so many things I still love about her, and for some reason that's all I seem to be highlighting in my mind...not the parts that were pissing me off. All that's repeating in my head about it now is that time will tell if I made the right choice, but then I realize that's exactly how chicks decide whether or not they made the right decision...****.
 

sodbuster

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WHAT bothers you about her? HAVE you asked her to change? IF you give her a chance and she refuses to change-it's not your fault when you break it off.
 
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