"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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First love reaching out

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Murk

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I've mourned it. She's moved on to banging sub par humans and still being miserable, I'm plate spinning and searching for "the one". I'm saying this from a place of sobriety and clarity.
 

Bokanovsky

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The way I read that text, she wanted the D. Needs to "fill a void", see if you "fit the puzzle"...she's not even being subtle about it. Instead of going on a date, you should have just invited her to your place or went to hers.
 

Billtx49

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The way I read that text, she wanted the D. Needs to "fill a void", see if you "fit the puzzle"...she's not even being subtle about it. Instead of going on a date, you should have just invited her to your place or went to hers.
Yep, her saying ‘u may be missing my piece’ is about as direct as a woman can get…
 

Murk

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She's coming over now we scrapped dinner.

I already know she wants the D, it's not really about that, I'm spinning enough plates I need to know if this is worth pursuing and hanging up my proverbial gloves.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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sazc

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Ur always going to wonder IF you don't give it a go, so you may as well.
 

Igetit!

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She's coming over now we scrapped dinner.

I already know she wants the D, it's not really about that, I'm spinning enough plates I need to know if this is worth pursuing and hanging up my proverbial gloves.
If it's not about sex and you want to see if this chick is worth "hanging up your proverbial gloves",you would have been better off going to dinner and talking.
 

Billtx49

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She’s going through her male friends list and starting the process of checking you out for an upgrade to romantic partner status. That’s all it is. Don’t give it any more importance than that for now.
 
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Roober

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I say go for it, but protect your heart. Take it sloowwwwwww. Her comments suggest she is on the rebound and feeling lonely, so she reached out to old faithful, her guy friend.

Make your intentions clear with your actions. You want to fvck this woman, so act on it.

Remember, women have two kinds of friends, girlfriends and boyfriends. If your not fvcking her, your her girlfriend.

And...

Take... it ... slowwww
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Murk

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We went out to watch the AJ v Parker boxing match last night, fair amount of flirting (nothing unusual). I left out a small detail of her having a bf. They split up before Christmas and she took him back recently as he was persistent and they had a Caribbean holiday booked in 4 weeks time. She basically said she’s waiting for the holiday then dumping him, she ranted a bit about the bf, I told her my ex gf stories, she asked my I’m still pining over this low value chick.

She came back to my place as her drive is pretty far, watched a movie on the sofa that didn’t really get watched. Made out a few times, she said let’s go to bed. We get into my bed, she complains how many girls I must have banged here and that she's probably laying in my kids, soaked through to the mattress (wtf how does she know my secrets) talk a bit more and both crash, no sex.

We’ve had sex before, I didn’t feel the need to smash right there and then, I think we were just working out the logistics of everything. I grabbed some boob, I should have gone for the kill, no rush though, fell asleep intertwined. She is ok waiting 2 years for kids but no more.

I'm going to meet a plate tonight I went out with Thursday, need to clear my head.
 

Dingo

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So.... the romantic chick flick ending didn't happen ?

If all she did was talk to you about her boyfriends and not **** you.... you are nothing more than her new girlfriend.

You didn't escalate because "You've had sex before ?"..... Like 15 years ago ?.....

Good luck with this one.
 

Murk

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I know it sounds gay as fvck, we were both quite drunk and I wasn't feeling my usual horny self. She got into my bed drunk and fully clothed ffs. Also as she hasn't broken up with her bf fully then she is defo not the type of girl to cheat, even in a failing relationship.

Edit: also this is like escalating with someone you've known for years and I didn't wanna mess it up, there's no rush with this one. She also didn't go on about her bf all night, only when back to mine and he was texting her and she was ignoring it.
 
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Dingo

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I see a Hallmark movie of the week...

Cut the alcohol if you want to ****...

Just protect your heart...
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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So.... the romantic chick flick ending didn't happen ?

If all she did was talk to you about her boyfriends and not **** you.... you are nothing more than her new girlfriend.

You didn't escalate because "You've had sex before ?"..... Like 15 years ago ?.....

Good luck with this one.
This type of ignorant mindset shows why there’s so many dudes on here had problems with women. It’s not just about sex. It’s about that connection. Yeah we don’t give a flying **** really, we just wanna bang lol. But women gotta feel that. At least for more long term stuff anyway.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Dash Riprock

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Some great advice, thanks.

To make it clear yes we have known each other 15 years and been part of each others lives, birthdays, break-ups, random nights out etc. but not in each others pockets like actual best friends. Last time I saw her was when we went out the day before Christmas eve.

She's a relationship kind of girl, never been on the CC, only small windows of opportunity, me being me seeing girls and her always in relationships we've never had the chance. In my younger days I was not ready for a relationship, plus trouble childhood, it has taken me a while to get up to speed and she herself said she's been very patient with me. She knows me and understands the situation.

I like spinning plates, but I also like bonding with someone worthy, it's a very satisfying and fulfilling feeling. I've seen this girl in relationships so I know she's not some wh0re or spiteful vindictive BPD/XYZ/etc. She's a good women, only downside is she wants children semi soon. I want to wait 3-4 years and not sure she could do that, her older sister has just had a baby and I'm not looking to fast forward my plan, but equally not willing to let her slip by and get into another relationship that could potentially end in kids/marriage. We both agreed that if we went "public" with a relationship nobody would be surprised, people often mistake us for a couple and friends/family all know what's up.

We are going for some food at 6pm tonight then some drinks after.
Most of the time when an long-ago ex or gf reaches out it's for nostalgia. Yes, things can go ok for a bit but usually not for long. Starry-eyed expectations fail and real life comes into the picture and Camelot is over. Sorry, that's life. You're better off knowing what you want in a woman and dating around until you find someone who's maybe a 75% match and sticking with them.
 

Murk

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Gonna use this thread to keep track of this girl.

So I took her and my best friend to a family friends 30th bday last night. Best party ever, lots of old school house party vibes. She asked if I could get her weed so we were smoking outside with a bunch of people. She met a lot of my family again, they grilled her while I was with my boy getting more drinks. We leave about 4:30am she goes to her sisters (5 min drive from me) I go home.

This morning she calls me and we go for brunch, she says she wants to get high but where an we go to smoke, back to mine to smoke some weed. I don't even smoke like that but I got given large amount of the cleanest smoothest last night so I have loads left over. We get high and watch Step Brothers - her idea, great choice. We kiss and grope, I'm too high to have sex as I've not smoked since Christmas and before that over 3 years ago. I can tell she wanted to bang but I told her I was too high, I'm high writing this right now. she leaves to drive home about 7pm but before. After she left she called her and said she wished she didn't leave and she wants to feel that chilled vibe again. We agree to watch a movie on Tuesday (I have a date tomorrow) and go to her house after (parents away on business) so this is definitely gonna be a smash and shes told me to save some weed to smoke before movie. I feel pretty good about this , all the old feelings and hope coming back, she just text me she is excited to see me again
 

Dingo

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So... basically she looked you up so you could get her some weed....
 

Murk

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We spent most of Saturday and Sunday together. We only didn’t bang because I was too high. I’m holding this up here. Also my family grilled her asking why we are not together on Saturday night and she said it’s on me, I said jokingly she friend zoned me and she said “I definitely haven’t”.



I’ll update what happens tomorrow after movies then back to her place, I may even bring a quarter kamagra to lay some demon pipegame.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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