"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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First Date

Kanja

New Member
Joined
Oct 8, 2004
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I'm 20, and thanks to this web site I went on my first date yesterday. I asked for her number, waited a week to call and took her to coffee. The date was really, uh, boring. I didn't do much C&F, but I focused the conversation on her and acted detached and uninterested. Well I only acted for the first half of the date. I'm fairly sure the girl still has a high interest level in me since she comes over to say hi when she sees me, sits next to me in class, ect, ect. She's probably come over and said hi 4 or 5 times since yesterday.
She’s cute, but I really don't feel that interested in her. She’s a dancer and really wasn't that interesting to talk to. I'm still debating what the next step I want to take is, but I'd appreciate some general guide lines.
If I don't want to take her out again I think the best thing to do would be to talk to her some more, but just be generally uninteresting, or act really afc. We both go to a really small college and share a class so I'd like to keep my relationship (and my rep) on good terms with her.
If I do decide to pursue it further, what’s a good time to wait for a second call? I waited 6 days for the first one and scheduled the date 4 days later ( and got much hate from my female friends for waiting more then 2 days)
The common thought of my friends ( all afc) is two days or so. Waiting a week seemed to do a lot of good for the first date, but waiting that long again doesn't sound as appropriate for the second date.
Thanks all.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Dapper Swindler

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 25, 2004
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If you just want to be friends then you should be friendly and treat her like a friend. You don't need to tell her you just want to be friends but don't ask her out anymore of course. But you don't need to change how you act just to show you're uninterested.

If you want to date her again then you should probably ask her sooner than you waited the first time.
 
Joined
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Hey man, you can call her whenever you want .. there's no right or wrong number of days to wait (obviously not 2 hours after, but you know what I mean). I think a "confident" guy should be able to call whenever he wants.

I'm not sure if you'll wanna do this, but in my experience the coffee dates are usually boring because its nothing different then what girls usually do when they hang out together .. you know, they just sit and talk.. and talk. That's why sometimes you can be more succesful if you even go bowling or to the driving range, because you're actually DOING something and it adds some chance for kino, and its a great conversation starter. Of course, if you're not really interested in her, you might be wasting your time, but on the other hand.. it can't really hurt right? Good luck man,
 

DeathDealer

Master Don Juan
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Nov 3, 2004
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Why'd you call all your friends AFCS. you seem to be one that's trying to pretend you're suave.

Listen buddy, I went through the same phase like you except I never knew about this site till about 2 years ago.

Oh yeah since you seem to follow this site like a technical guide. Your second date should be 2-3 weeks away from your first date so you can appear confident.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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