"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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First date shy HB9 - awkward sex

tomato

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Had a good first date with a HB9 night before last and came back to my place - was pretty drunk so I wasn't... functioning so well when we first got back, although she tried really hard (we did everything apart from F-close). I handled that pretty well just had a break etc, then when we went back to it, it was mainly me initiating and she wasn't as enthusiastic - I dont know about you guys but if the girl isnt totally into it then its not that great - so again we did everything apart from F-close. I then kino escalated a few more times and in the morning - same again. I think maybe I DLV'd now by initiating so many times. I have a bit of a problem with condoms (not used to them after LTR) - that was part of the problem.

What do you guys do if it is you putting in all the effort into initiating sex? How do you handle a girl that is totally willing just not very Into it - or maybe just out of practice/inexperienced? Do you just keep on going regardless of how responsive she is? Do you keep trying until it works and then of course everything is a different story? Is it maybe just that she just know's she's hot and therefore doesn't need to put in any effort? She's also a bit shy - is it maybe quite normal for girls like this to act this way on a first date then? - maybe even getting this far was a big deal for her?

Also I noticed she seemed to really get off on saying no and then having that barrier breached by me - almost like mini **** tests - "no we are not doing that!" and then basically I did it anyway and she liked it even more - something about me not taking her **** and just having confidence must be working here right. It was weird though - almost like we were having a fight at one point - her biting me - very rough - but she seemed to like that the most - any experience with girls like this? Makes me think the above stuff (unenthusiasm) could also have been a **** test to see how much I would fight for it/push in the face of resistance?

Finally - what now? How long wait till texting her? what you text? - she hasn't texted me - I can tell she's waiting for me to text...
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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betheman

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tomato said:
Also I noticed she seemed to really get off on saying no and then having that barrier breached by me - almost like mini **** tests - "no we are not doing that!" and then basically I did it anyway and she liked it even more - something about me not taking her **** and just having confidence must be working here right. It was weird though - almost like we were having a fight at one point - her biting me - very rough - but she seemed to like that the most - any experience with girls like this? Makes me think the above stuff (unenthusiasm) could also have been a **** test to see how much I would fight for it/push in the face of resistance?

Finally - what now? How long wait till texting her? what you text? - she hasn't texted me - I can tell she's waiting for me to text...

How can you tell???? of course you are expected to contact her, how long after???

do you want this to continue? you prepared for radio silence when she doesnt get back to you?

she had sex with a drunk, she wont be feeling so good about herself but dont concede all the blame.

text her "hey [name], guess we had a little too much to drink, Im sure thats a habit neither of us is into"

you arent asking her for a second date, youre just trying to re engege her, youre not apologising, you regret the alcohol not the sex but you arent saying it. its a bland neutral text that leaves some of the responsibility of the night with her as well. you wont sound like a creep or needy.

she may blank you, you may get a response and how she responds will dictate her level of interest.
sent it when you want, dont think with this kind of text timing is such an issue
 

tomato

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betheman said:
How can you tell???? of course you are expected to contact her, how long after???

do you want this to continue? you prepared for radio silence when she doesnt get back to you?

she had sex with a drunk, she wont be feeling so good about herself but dont concede all the blame.

text her "hey [name], guess we had a little too much to drink, Im sure thats a habit neither of us is into"

you arent asking her for a second date, youre just trying to re engege her, youre not apologising, you regret the alcohol not the sex but you arent saying it. its a bland neutral text that leaves some of the responsibility of the night with her as well. you wont sound like a creep or needy.

she may blank you, you may get a response and how she responds will dictate her level of interest.
sent it when you want, dont think with this kind of text timing is such an issue
Maybe I didnt express myself clearly - but it really wasn't a very big deal - she asked when we were going to see each other again - it was VERY CLEAR she wants to see me again - When do you text and what? any good exp?

- I'm more asking what to do when the girl isnt putting much effort in? Or Fighting any progress but apparently enjoying the fight!
 

runner83

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tomato said:
Maybe I didnt express myself clearly - but it really wasn't a very big deal - she asked when we were going to see each other again - it was VERY CLEAR she wants to see me again - When do you text and what? any good exp?

- I'm more asking what to do when the girl isnt putting much effort in? Or Fighting any progress but apparently enjoying the fight!
There's no magic answer.

Just do what fits in with your life and don't over analyse.
 

loveshogun

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I don't want this to sound harsh, but if the equipment's not working at full capacity, why should she be excited?

Granted, most ladies, if they're turned on enough to have sex with you, won't hold such hold-ups against you. But hey, maybe she was expecting a rodeo bull-ride, and instead got the petting zoo. That can make any girl's night turn less exciting. At least she was willing to try and try again, yeah?

In those instances, use your other tools - tongue, hands, dirty talk, viagra. Just kidding about the last one. But seriously.

Also, if you plan on using them (I hope you do), get VERY used to using condoms. I know it can suck at first, but you get used to it. My trick early on was to wait as long as possible to put it on... if you're rushing to get into the pink canoe and sail away to F*ckland, that pressure you put on yourself will deflate you. Just take it easy.

I'm only assuming you were anxious to impress because you tried 3 times. Just take it easy playa. Better luck next time.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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loveshogun

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By the way, if it's so clear she wants to see you again, why don't you just set up another date?

Are you trollin', bro?
 
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