First Date Results - Boot Camp

[skinnydart]

So I finally went out on a date... it was with an hb 7.5 that I've known for a little while. It went kinda rocky, but not sure how to interpret some of the stuff that went on.

I had asked her out several times before, each time she had either not called me back or said she was busy so I had almost decided to ditch her. I decided to give her one more chance before she flew home for break. I called her up a few hours before and asked if she was free for dinner.

Seeing that I'm a quiet type and probably not the best when it comes to convo, I was worried there would be a lot of awkward silences and stuff. But, on the way there she was constantly talking, changing the subject every 30 seconds or so. I don't think there was silence for longer than 5 seconds.

HER: That's where I saw you pulling out the other day (pointing to an intersection), me and my roomate were going to the post office, she's constantly selling things on ebay, I've tried to buy a few things but I've always been outbid.
ME: Yeah, I used to buy and sell stuff on there all the time.
HER: My roomate said she got me a Christmas present off of there but it won't arrive until after Christmas. I can't wait until i go home for xmas break, when I get home, I'm going to take my little sister to go see Sponge Bob
ME: O? How old is she? (the only thing I could think of)
HER: 10, this car still has that new-cars
ME: Yeah, I bought it from some internation guy that's a student at our college name, he kept it in pretty good condition.
HER: I dated an international guy once. It was funny he would say stuff like "...
:
HER: Man, this campus is so empty
ME: Yeah, it is kinda wierd looking. So are you the only one left on your hall?
HER: Yeah, the RA's left this morning. I like it, it's so quite, and I walk around wearing whatever I want
:
: Later while eating
:
Her: "...graduate school eventually. So do you like this music?"
I wasn't even paying attention to and could hardly here the restraunts background music.

You get the general idea.

Then while I was looking at her, the lane I was in kinda ended, so I found myself driving on the grass going about 30 MPH...

Her: "Yeah, when I was learning how to drive I used to..."
grrr, I have been driving for a couple years now.
I was really embarressed.

The dinner was kinda the same convo style, me just nodding, "yeah, I know what you mean" kinda thing. She would ask me questions every now and then. I ended up doing probably 30% of the talking.

She was leaning forward the whole time, rarely made ec with me, but played w/hair a few times.

So after we were both finished and I had paid the waiter

ME: Stood up "so, you ready to go?"
HER: "You don't want to wait for your change?"

... didn't help with the embarressment any.

So I dropped her off, she said we should definantly see a play somtime (what I had originally asked her out for but she canceled on) I just said "yeah, we'll have to do that".

She's 2.5 years older than me.

So in a way I'm happy that i finally went out with someone but in a way I feel really stupid.

 

[SamePendo]

You weren't ****y.
You weren't funny.
You didn't apply some crazy new ****.
You didn't use neg hits.
You didn't use NLP.

That, by seing your post.

You need to relax man.

 

[skinnydart]

What is nlp?

Yeah, I could have made a joke about it, but because I was embarressed and just trying to get myself back on the road, that was the last thing I was thinking about.

Cause right before, she was talking about how she wanted to get a jeep, so I should have made some comment about "ok, now that I think about it, I should probably get a jeep too, this escort isn't as good off-road as I had hoped".

 

[Julian]

Do you even like this chick.

 

[skinnydart]

Yeah, she's awesome, and really cute. She kinda has a shy/quiet personality. Like when I would see her in the hall she would just wave. Maybe this is just her after opening up a bit?

 

[SamePendo]

NLP- Neuro Linguistic Programming.... used for...subliminal seduction.

ME: Yeah, I used to buy and sell stuff on there all the time.
HER: My roomate said she got me a Christmas present off of there

You: Oh.. you meant THAT place... I was refering to that slave market over there.

HER: I dated an international guy once.

You: I hired a international slave once...

he would say stuff like"...

You: Interesting

I like it, it's so quite, and I walk around wearing whatever I want

You: Meaning.. .nothing?

Her: "...graduate school eventually. So do you like this music?"
I wasn't even paying attention to and could hardly here the restraunts background music.

You: Oh.. I LOVE this... I prefer tupac though. (If the music was pop, rock).

Her: "Yeah, when I was learning how to drive I used to..."

You: I'm just waiting for you to chaiffeur (sp?) me.

She would ask me questions every now and then.

You should answer to her boring questions with things that don't make sense:

Her: So, what do you think of ____?
You: I don't really know. ...*pause* Though vegetarians do generaly tend to have a bad mood. ... Come on, let's get out of here.. look, back here there is *you grab her.. and take her somewhere "exicting"*.

Get another mindset man... she should feel stupid because she didn't get a goodbye kiss or something.

 

[saki]

samependo,
Those were good c + f's but did you sit around and think about those responses or were they just natural? Suxs caz I know where skinny's coming from, when your nervous, its really hard to be funny, esp. the first date. How do you get this mind set?

 

[SamePendo]

First tell me, why are you nervous?

 

[skinnydart]

Because I ran off the freiken road!

 

[saki]

Originally posted by skinnydart
Because I ran off the freiken road!

screw the running off the road thing, that shiit is funny. I am talking about the initial awkwardness of getting to know somebody. did you always just spit c and f's or is there some way to work on it without being drunk as fvck?

 

[waldo]

Well done, every big change starts with a small step.

You might not think you did amazingly well but you didn't make any major goofs (well apart from almost crashing your car by the sounds of things!). I'd give yourself a big pat on the back then go and ask out another girl, go for exactley the same date with her and you'll find yourself so much more confident and relaxed. Simply because you now have some experience. (That was your first date I guess?)

Anyway big thumbs up, did you go in for the kiss at any point?

 

[SamePendo]

You guys are nervous because you worry about she might think of you.

Fifteen Lessons :Emphasis on 8 and 11.
Kill that desperation
The Secret of the Jerk

These aren't ways to see life. They are the way things are.

I repeat:

These aren't ways to see life. They are the way things are.

 

[Fenderules]

about looking at the her and going off the road

i would have teased her and blamed her in a playful way somehow. Dont get embarissed, that shows ill-confidence. Chalk it up and make a joke out of it.

 

[Interpol]

It seems like you did a good job of making conversation, but did you make INTERESTING conversation? Did you make her laugh? Did you talk about real common interests? Did you find out things about her you never knew before? Hell, did you do anything that could even be interpreted as flirting?

You did a good job of keeping the convo going with questions, but if you don't spice things up a bit more, the girl is going to feel like she's at a job interview.


EDIT: To give an example, when you accidentally drove off the road, instead of being embarassed you could've just said something like "Relax, I was just testing the vehicle's off-road capabilities." Nothing fancy, but it turns the situation into a joke she will laugh about, rather than trying to empathize with your embarassment.

 

[skinnydart]

the girl is going to feel like she's at a job interview

What? I only did 30% of the talking. She talked most of the time. I usually am funny/really sarcastic with her which makes her laugh, but I just wasn't quick enough that night for some reason.

I did find out a lot about her, but not nessisarily because I asked a lot of questions.

She did suggest going to see a play sometime when I dropped her off so I'm assuming that's a good sign.

give yourself a big pat on the back then go and ask out another girl

Are you saying I shouldn't ask this one out again?

did you go in for the kiss at any point?

I know it sounds bad, but I've never touched a girl in my life. (with the exception of handshakes at corporate business meetings )

To give an example, when you accidentally drove off the road...

Yeah, I'm normally really good at coming up with stuff like that, and came up with about 10 a min after the incident. But with rush hour traffic flying by me, getting back on the road took a higher priority than making myself appear funny.

 

[skinnydart]

P.S. How do I start (or practice) the kino. Seeing that I've never done it, it's going to seem really uncomfortable for me and therefore make it obvious to her. What am I supossed to practice on?

 

[Trance]

Your thing must be having fun with what your're talking about, and not being concerned the whole time on what you're telling, and if you're pleasing the girl with your talk!

You'll be good when you have fun with the convo, and she'll be digging it!