"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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first date please help

allen2000

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ok so i met this chick on line.

we made plans earlier in the week to go out tomorrow night. last night, she starts laying some heavy **** on me about ex-bf, family drama, other lifestyle issues - this is not really a girl i see a whole lot of immediate relationship material in. in fact, i honestly don't see much potential in that at all, at least for now.

HOWEVER...

i genuinely like many things about her, and after talking with her for awhile, i can see that she probably likes some things about me as well. problem is, we have a date tomorrow and i really want to tell her BEFORE the date that we should be meeting as friends only, not as a "romantic" date, as per the original intentions.

how can i do this? a female friend advised me that i should call her later tonight or early tomorrow and tell her that in light of all the new information we discussed the other night, i think it is probably best to meet as "friends". this way, the girl will not think that i met her and am blowing her off after the first date because of her looks or something like that, and just not having the balls to say so.

i wouldn't mind getting to know this girl a little more, and she def. has some positive attributes. but i don't want her expecting prince charming after all the stuff she unloaded on me. i don't think that she or i are ready to be moving toward that kind of stuff at this time.

thoughts? i want to be the stand-up guy, and not hurt her intentionally or look like a douche in the process.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Scaramouche

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Dear Allen,
You are taking this far too seriously....just meet up and practice on her!
 

window

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how many chicks go on first dates knowing full well they are not romantically interested in the man...try not to compartmentalise things, go along. You never know you might change your mind.
 

Desdinova

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allen2000 said:
i wouldn't mind getting to know this girl a little more, and she def. has some positive attributes.
Let met tell you how it works with women and dating...

Turning a female friend into a lover is 90% impossible
Turning a lover into a female friend is 90% possible.

When you start a new 'relationship' with a woman, ALWAYS make it sexual from the get-go. It widens your options. If you find that you don't really like her all that much, you can either ditch her or demote her to a friend.

If you start out as friends, you're stuck there.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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