"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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First date, not kissing

pyros

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Hello.

I met this HB8 a month ago. I met her in a bar, we talked for 5 mins I got her number. We talked last week via FB and I proposed to meet for a drink.

We met, had a drink, we talked, laughed etc.
This chick is pretty weird, but shes hot and nice. We were there for 1.5 hours.
Next day she texted me to thank me for the drink and to say that she had a great time.

Two days later I texted her to arrange another date, and she agreed.
So today we went to the beach, had a snack on the sand, played beach tennis I teased her, we laughed, I confirmed shes pretty weird, etc.

When we were walking along the seashore, I got closer and she stepped to the side a bit. Uhmm...
When we were going to my car, we sat for a moment and she got her lipstick so I thought: 'she's getting ready for a good kiss'
and she put her bag between the two of us, so I thought: wtf?
Then, when I dropped her home, the moment I stopped the car she gave me two kisses and she put her mouth pretty far from my mouth, or at least I got this feeling.



Comments?
Do I wait some days to propose another date?
or do I wait to see if she contacts me?


P.S.
Im thinknig that I should not have waited till the end of the date for the kiss but I guess if she had not left my car (we were at a traffic light so the light was about to be green) so fast I, for sure, had gone for the kiss but...


Thanks.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Who Dares Win

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Among the dozens of dates Im having in the last months already a couple of times things proceeded like that.

Cant really say what is in the mind of those girls but in my experience it lead to nowhere, dont know if because of my lack of game or simply cause that foundation is a no-foundation.

The explanation I gave myself was that such girls like to date us in the emotional and validation side but dont really like us enough to be "taken away" and therefore getting physical.

I noticed as well the bag thing, where she puts her bag between us while at the same time contributing to the conversation and be glad to be toghter.
It actually doesnt make much sense except the explanation in the above paragraph.

Personally I get very annoyed when a girl doesnt reciprocate the desire to escalate nor put an effort into trying.

In my case I removed my proactive push, leaving further date to happen instead of looking for them.

What I suggest you is to contact them briefly but do not ask for any date and let them wonder, thats what actually Im doing myself while chasing other girls.
Dont let them forget about you but at the same time make sure you are not taken for granted (therefore less valuable).
 

VladPatton

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Damn, the end of a date is always a real phucker, especially when you feel a kiss is going to be a big hurdle. I agree with Who Dares Win. Chill out a bit and let her wonder whether or not she goofed by not kissing you. She could of gave you at least a quick lip smack if she was in a hurry. Tread with caution, she might just be looking for a nice time with no intent of escalating sexually. Sit back a little and see what happens, if she contacts you.
 

Renegade357

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ALWAYS go for the kiss on the 2nd date. If they don't throw you any obvious signals during the date like touching, eye contact, ect just wait until the very end and kiss them when you part. If they turn their head NEXT. Real simple :)
 

bigneil

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I usually go for the kiss when I ask for their number, to break the ice.

It helps to give her a hello kiss also.

But there is no question - there comes that do or die moment (often at the beach) where you have to make a move. There is no telling her reaction until you try (the same girl will yield different reactions at different times).

Some women are more awkward about it. Doesn't sound like a show stopper but next time you go for the real one (no need to ram your tongue in her throat).

The best first kiss is slow and deliberate when you move in but as gentle as can be physically.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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DonJuanabe

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Look at it this way -- she could have opened the door and jumped out of the car the moment you stopped... but she didn't. When she kissed you on the cheek you should have playfully said "That's not a kiss, come here you..." and gone lip to lip. She very well could have been testing whether you'd escalate her advance. Doesn't matter because you should have gone for it anyway.
 

Harry Wilmington

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Rather than re-iterate the good points made above, I'll say this: in most cases where I didn't get kissed on the 2nd date, I'd go for it on the 3rd date and they'd turn their cheek. In other words, they weren't really interested.

The good news here, though, is that she DID, in fact, kiss you. Which means, on some level, she's not disgusted at the idea of physical contact with you (and it's a good hint that she may have wanted you to kiss her - that putting on lipstick trick usually means that, psychologically, she's hoping to get kissed. So, she could've sensed that maybe you're shy - for shame, pyros, for shame!).

So, very simple: go on a 3rd date, and at the end just go for it. Look at her, say "have a good night," give her a hug, and then, as you're pulling back from the hug, give her a kiss.

Oh, and for the love of god, how about walking her to her door, eh? Be a gentleman! (Plus, you'll be able to make yourself stand face to face with her, so going in for the kiss will be much easier than reaching over a car seat with a barrier.)
 

pyros

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The thing is I really forgot about the kiss thing because from the begining of the date I thought that I would kiss her at the very end. But at the very end we were at a damn traffic light, with some cars waiting behind us.

Anyway I got a bit of mixed signals, but I would not be now analizing the date if I had just gone for the kiss.

Thanks for the adive ppl , but some of you did not tell me whether I wait some days to call her again, or I just wait for her to contact me.


Thx ;)

P.S.
shes a really weird girl. She moved from ther country alone, and stayed away for some years. Then she moved to another country alone again, same thing. And then she moved to my country alone, one more time...
and eventhough shes very cute and nice, she said several times that she gets bored of everything. I teased her saying that she's like and old lady, and that my grandma would like to meet her, etc.
 

pyros

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I¡ve had two dates with this chick. First one was just to actually get to know her a bit. Next time whe had a nice date at the beach...etc


Last wednesday I texted this HB8 and said that I am free thursday night and saturday. She replied that she has plans for saturday but that we could meet thursday night.

Next day I had arranged a dinner date with another chick for thursday too (damn, I could have arranged it for any other day) so I text this HB8 and tell her that we could meet at around 19h. She replies that she's not free till 20h and if I can go to FB so we talk there.
I say ok and go to FB.

Then a silly schedule convo starts:

her: hey, that is too early, cant make it till 20h.
me: well, I have a party at 22h so maybe we can do it friday or saturday around 19h.

some jokes
some jokes

her: well, I am busy friday and saturday...you're busy tonight, this is just bad luck.
me: well, maybe we can go to church on Sunsay morning lol.
her: what?? haha...I prefer to go to church on my own.

some jokes.

her: besides, some friends come on sunday so if they do, I cant say no.
me: well, so just let me know when you're free.
her: but you wanted to go to play pool? I really suck at it.
me: some jokes...
her: hahah, well ok, when do we meet?
me: it is you the one whose busy till 2020, just let me know on sunday, or we'll see how we do it for next week.
her: well, its time to go to bed. Good night.
me: yep, you're bed time has passed already, good night!
her: bye!
me: bye!



Opinions?

I believe she wants to see me, but she's playing this 'Im busy' thing, and in our last convo I guess she played it too much so we end up with no date. Come one, 'Im busy today till 20h, and Im busy friday, saturday and maybe sunday'.
Ok, I did it wrong because I arranged a date for thursday night ( I said to her Im free thursday night) but then I arranged this dinner date with another chick; I tried to reschedule the date with the HB8 in the evening, but as you see failed.
 

pyros

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hi.

well, I let some days pass and I texted this chick yesterday to arrange something for tonight. She said ok.

We went to grab a beer and play pool. I won btw. I teased her, did some jokes, she was laughing etc.
Anyway its kind of difficult to talk to this girl because she speaks but not much.

Anyway, this was our third date. In the end, I went for the kiss and she said: 'oh, no no...see you' and she left my car when we were in front of her house.


Now, wtf this chick meets with me three times just to reject me?
She's stupid thats for sure, and retarded.
Anyway, I did not feel anything, because when we were playing pool eventhough she was laughing at my jokes I got closer three or four times and she stepped back, so I was expecting this result. Same thing happend the previous date. I got closer two times and she kind of stepped back.
She's a HB8, 27 yo.

Opinions?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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vatoloco

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pyros said:
Now, wtf this chick meets with me three times just to reject me?
Clicky

Women will sometimes go out with a guy, just to go out. Women love attention and will get it, one way or another. They go out because they're hungry and you'll pay for a nice dinner. They go out because they wanna go to a concert and you got tickets. They go out because they're bored and you have nothing [no one] else to do. They go out because their boyfriend is out of town and cannot stand to be alone for the weekend. They will kiss you. They may even fuck you. But they may not like you.

And sometimes, just sometimes, they go out with you because they actually like you. ;)
 

pyros

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Hi.

So last news.
After our third date where she rejected my attempt to kiss her,
now she texts me to see if I'd like to have a drink or go to roller blade AS FRIENDS.

wtf?
Did this ever happen to you?
 

VladPatton

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Yeah man, been here before. Phucking beyond retarded behavior is all that this is. She just wants to go out to get out of the house and repel boredom for a few hours, that is all. In other words, this will never go anywhere besides just hanging out. It is beyond frustrating to a guy when this happens. The more you continue this, the more you'll get frustrated, and she won't give a shyt as long as she goes out. If you get mad enough and confront her, she'll flip the situation and call YOU crazy. I see it as a no-win time waster of a pursuit at best.

Just next her, this shyt is kiddie play by a chic with a wishy-washy character who is so self absorbed that "she just doesn't get it". A button pusher.

Good luck.
 

pyros

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Yes yes, I know.
SHe said: 'well if you dont want the friendship I'll understand.'
me: 'well...Im busy now but let's see if for next week we can arrange something. Have fun, bye!'

And I will never contact her again :D

P.S.
I replied in a girly way. Indirect answer. Hah!
 
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