first date is the hardest

[judoguy]

Getting the number and even a hook up first night is relatively easy but getting them to hang out again is the hard part for me at least

what are they afraid of ? To get attachted to a guy or find a guy they really like? Most girls will talk to me , text back and forth etc. and then when I ask for a hangout they will have plans always

People have said that I am not building enough comfort but I have tried everything from just texting them my number to talking to them on the phone for 60 min, 2 hours, nightly etc.... not talking at all just asking to hang out once etc....

It is not the comfort.. I honestly think no girl in her 20's does not have plans for the weekend and will usually always choose her friends over a guy she does not know

any suggestions? I am thinking for first hangout after getting the number at a bar... maybe a weeknight hangout instead of a weekend meet up at a bar/ club?

 

[^__^]

Your problem might be that you are asking her for a hang-out/date. You have to tell her imperatively that you are going on a date with her at a particular location.

If she gives you excuses, next her. If they all give you excuses, then you have a bigger problem on your hands.

 

[TIC]

I think that in order for any second dates to occur, she has to want it more than you . Her interest level has to be very high for her to spend her valuable time. Chicks in their 20s, as you pointed out, have 20-30 options on the weekend and can get dates at the snap of a finger.

Get her to really like you I guess. More kino maybe? More sexual vibes

 

[yuppaz]

It sounds like an attraction problem and an out of sight out of mind problem. I have the same problem. The BEST thing to do is setup the meet right then and there when her vajayjay is all tingly for you and QUALIFY her ass! if you want someone that is sweet, ask her if she is mean to animals, if you want someone who is fun and outgoing, tell her "I like to go to hike mountains, do you do stuff like that"? SHE NEEDS TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE INTO HER FOR PERSONALITY, NOT LOOKS and she needs to feel like she has earned time with you based on what she has told you.

1. Go for the ones you really wanna f*ck
2. Qualify her @ss
3. Have sh*t your gonna do planned out for the whole week, ask her what her schedule is like
4. Invite her along to one of your planned events that free day
5. Get her phone number (in case something comes up on your end...haha)

Another thing I've noticed is some girls just aren't comfortable going out with a new guy by herself, so IMHO it's cool to setup doubles or meet ups where you and your boys get together w/ her and her friends. Get in with the friends, then they say good things about you and you are much more solid with the girl. Sucks to go this route, but if she is acting very dodgy about 1 on 1 meet ups then ask her if she's cool with that instead. Worst case you bring your boys to party with some more girls, your girl isn't into it but other girls at the venue see you with that girl and it's an easier (socially proofed) hook up with new girls. Everyone wins.

 

[maqnetik]

once you stop caring so much the first can be the most fun.... ride the high

 

[J Roc]

stop with the weekend dates. hookup during the week and use the weekends to recruit more girls.

 

[Kailex]

Getting the number and even a hook up first night is relatively easy but getting them to hang out again is the hard part for me at least

Your thread title is very misleading. It says that "First dates are the hardest" but here it says that you have no problem hooking up with them (whatever that means in your vernacular) is easy but it's getting them to hang out again that's hard?

So, where EXACTLY is your problem?

what are they afraid of ? To get attachted to a guy or find a guy they really like? Most girls will talk to me , text back and forth etc. and then when I ask for a hangout they will have plans always

They're not afraid of getting attached to a guy or find a guy they really like. You're confusing getting attached to YOU versus getting attached to a guy. If they're not liking YOU, then there is something underneath the surface going on.

Of course they will text back and forth. These women in the last 5 to 6 years are surprisingly always bored and always have someone to text, and that's you. I NEVER text unless it's to set up a date or light sexual fluff. Other than that, they get no texts from me.

People have said that I am not building enough comfort but I have tried everything from just texting them my number to talking to them on the phone for 60 min, 2 hours, nightly etc.... not talking at all just asking to hang out once etc....

I'll tell you right now, talking to them on the phone for 60 min, 2 hours, and nightly is definitely NOT helping.

If you want to talk on the phone, definitely no more than 15 mins at a time and not every day.

Again, I can't see where the problem is if you don't tell me EXACTLY where the problem is happening. I saw your previous thread where you said you had problems getting the second date. Give a few detailed examples of your last first dates.

It is not the comfort.. I honestly think no girl in her 20's does not have plans for the weekend and will usually always choose her friends over a guy she does not know.

They will always choose their friends over a guy she does not know and is NOT attracted to. They will always choose a guy they are interested in over their friends.

any suggestions? I am thinking for first hangout after getting the number at a bar... maybe a weeknight hangout instead of a weekend meet up at a bar/ club?

Weeknight first.
Always.

You're a man. You have plans for the weekend with other people, possibly other women. First date, less than 2 hours long unless you ramp up the sexual tension enough that you can get a lay.

Avoid the clubs. You want to eliminate as much competition that could possibly be there.

If you go to a bar... avoid sitting down at a table. A table is the biggest offender for Kino-Killers ever. Avoid restaurants/movies. Movies will not help you at all as you have to sit through the movie and can't really talk. Restaurants are a money-sink.


Again, describe your last first date or whatever happened last.
Or the last few times.