"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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First Date Failures

mahon83050

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How many of you guys have been on alot of first dates, then the chick has blown you off? It seems to happen to me alot lately. I am interested in a second date (well, to atleast maybe get down her pants) and then the chick blows me off.

I read a stat, that only 50% of first dates, make it to a second. Is this normal, or am I screwing up majorly here.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Viking25

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50% succes rate is pretty normal ....you dont like all of them b1tches anyway.
 

xblitz44x

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If he didn't like "them b1tches" then I don't think he'd be posting about how he can't get second dates with them.

I've been on a few first dates that just went nowhere. Where there was just no chemistry. Everything felt forced and unnatural. It happens. If you think about it, 50% is even pretty high. The chances aren't great that BOTH people are going to like one another enough to see each other again. They know nothing about each other going into the first date so it's really an experiment. Don't take it personally and you're probably not doing anything 'wrong' per se.

You *could* go that bullshyt doc love mystery/challenge on them and not let them even figure out if they like you or not on the first date to get a second date. But to me that's pointless because she will figure it out in time anyway. So just keep experimenting.

The only other thing that I can recommend is that maybe your motive of "getting down her pants" is showing through and girls are become uncomfortable and turned off by it. Maybe instead of making that your goal or expectation, just go in there and sincerely get to know these girls. Learn about them, listen to them. Try to connect with them on a deeper level and the sex will happen itself.

Instead of worrying about if you're going to get down her pants or if you're going to get a second date, take it one minute at a time and enjoy the moment. Good luck!

-Blitz
 

Don Juanabbe

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Originally posted by mahon83050
How many of you guys have been on alot of first dates, then the chick has blown you off? It seems to happen to me alot lately. I am interested in a second date (well, to atleast maybe get down her pants) and then the chick blows me off.

I read a stat, that only 50% of first dates, make it to a second. Is this normal, or am I screwing up majorly here.
I don't even bother dating in the official capacity anymore.

But I've got a great AFC story about a first date I had. I made the mistake of listening to her friends advice, which was, "Listen, she is a beautiful woman with guys crawling all over her, so you've got to wine and dine this girl like never before, otherwise she won't be interested."

So what do I, the AFC idiot do? I booked reservations at a great establishment, paid over 130 bucks for the meal. She was a vegan, so I had them prepare a special dinner for her. Wine, you name it. I think I was even stupid enough to buy her a rose or something.

Then I got the elbow bigtime. She blew me completely off the radar about a week later at a club, to the point of hitting on another guy in front of me. How embarrassing. I even knew the guy personally.

But I recovered by asking the guy for his phone number on her behalf, told him she was interested, and that she wanted to get together with him. Then I went up to her, and said, "Sorry things won't work out with us, but because I like you as a person, I talked to him and got his phone number for you. He says he likes you, I think you two should definitely get together sometime, I've known him for a long time and he's a decent guy. See you around." I then handed her the matches with his name and number on them, and then I left.

Funny enough, I saw her a year or so later, she had just gotten out of a year long realtionship with a complete arsehole, had heard that I was then in a year and a half relationship of my own, and all of a sudden, she was interested and hitting on me right in front of my girlfriend who was close to knocking her block off!!!
 

DJ_Dork

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50/50 is standard. That's how both of you started at.. no one is sure of anything.. after one date of talking and knowing each other.. the GIRL (or yourself) knows if she wants to continue dating you a few more times or not.

If she blows you off the second date, her interest in you is low and you can write her off as another small experience.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

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