first date: evaluation?

[trd323]

I met a girl in my class and we finally hung out togethher. We watched "the notebook" in my dorm. We talked thorughout the movie and made jokes at certain scenes. When the movie was finished I asked her if she wanted to hangout for a while and talk, she agreed. I was able to the 'Cube" on her and was impressed by the result. We just laughed and told childhood stories for about an hour.

The situation did not seem right to make a move and i did not want to force it.

opinions?

 

[SynapsyS]

Did you have fun, and enjoy being around her? If;

Yes - Second date.
No - Drop her.

Pretty easy. There's no prerequisite to do anything on the first date, it's only designed to see if you want a second date or not.

And so on.

Syn.

 

[trd323]

definately had a great time. And I hope she did too.

I was just worried that i did not make a move on her. And I definately do not want to be put in the friend zone. Would asking her to go out on wed night seem needy(this weekend is holloween, Party with the boys starting thursday).

 

[SynapsyS]

All I can say is to use your judgement. I mean, if i was there, and..stuff, then maybe I could make a better call, but;

- I don't know what kind of perosn you are
- I wasn't there, thus, I have no idea how well you clicked.
- If i was there, that would be SUPREMELY weird.

At the moment, the girl I'm seeing, I haven't even kissed yet. I've seen her 3 times in a week (well, week and a half): 2 real dates, and I dropped in on my way home from school last monday.

Now, we're doing the whole, hugging, gf-bf holding hands and shizz stuff, but she, to me, appears really conservative, so I'm happy to roll with that for a bit (not too long, a man can only go so far ). So, I would NOT say you've "ruined your shot" with her because you didn't jump all over her slobbering. She may even respect you more for leaving it as it was.

In the end, unless you MISSED the opportunity to kiss/makeout, then I don't see a problem. In my case, there have been opportunities, but in typical movie style, we've been interupted (saturday: on her bed, ffs ).

I wouldn't go on dates during the week. Make her wait until the weekend before SHE gets to see YOU, you don't want to give her a LOT of time with you. This may sound slightly hypocritical, but this girl won't be seeing me until either next week sometime, or early December, after exams. I do recognise a bit of AFCness, but honestly, I'm using her as a practise arena to hone my conversational skills, so I think it's been more of a benefit than anything else.

So, to recap:

- Unless you missed a shot going to "first base", then as long as you had fun, I doubt there'd be any trouble right now. Stop doubting yourself, OF COURSE she wants to see you again

- Make her wait to see you. Although, don't fall into conversing with her everyday until then: silence is good.

Syn.

 

[ApocalypseCow2]

Originally posted by trd323
I met a girl in my class and we finally hung out togethher. We watched "the notebook" in my dorm. We talked thorughout the movie and made jokes at certain scenes. When the movie was finished I asked her if she wanted to hangout for a while and talk, she agreed. I was able to the 'Cube" on her and was impressed by the result. We just laughed and told childhood stories for about an hour.

The situation did not seem right to make a move and i did not want to force it.

opinions?

Sounds like it went pretty well (The Notebook made my ex-girlfriend cry, so it's good that this girl didn't get depressed by it!). A "move" doesn't have to be some huge thing. Just try putting your arm around her, or lightly hit her leg while telling a joke. I like putting my arm around her, because then you can play with her hair, and it's pretty straight forward from there

 

[quest]

the longer the first kiss takes, the more pressure there is and the harder it is to put it on.

you wont be int he LJBF zone, and she won't respect you extra for not making the move.

She came to the apartment (demonstrates attraction).. she had a good time (had a chance to leave, stayed to chat, more attraction).. you'll get a second date if you ask.

You still don't need to put a move on her then. but why wouldn't you?

 

[trd323]

thanks for the replies. i will definately make the move next time we go out.

Any other suggestions ?