First Date Cancelled

[jlepik]

So i work at a hospital and i finally got up the courage to ask this girl out. She gave me her number and told me to call her. I called and we talked and made plans to go out tonight. Well when i called her to get instructions to her house she told me that she was sick and could not go out. Now i dont know if i am looking to much into this or not but is this a BAD thing. She i just let it go and try again some other time. Or is she avoiding the date

 

[Lingus01]

The date

Don't call her for a few days. Call her next Tuesday and ask her how she is.

Most likely she is avoiding the date, but she could be sick.

Remember don't take it personally, something might have come up, another cuter guy could of asked her out.

In the mean time, make yourself busy as hell, go to the gym, hang out with friends, or better yet go to the club and attempt to meet more women. Your in the same position as me dude, we both need to get more phone numbers. You will notice I am still home this weekend.

Now speaking of not talking to her, don't go out of your way to talk to her at work. Stay to your own and get your own. If you run into her just by day to day travel, look her dead in the eyes and smile. Maybe even wave, she should say hi to you first. If she avoids looking at you, smiling at you, or even saying hi to you. Move on to the next piece of pie, because this ***** is just not into you.

 

[Lingus01]

Correction to my last post.

Don't call her next Tuesday unless she trys talking to you at work on her own.

She should act sick at work, if not let her be, just keep her number in your phone for future use. You need to hang out with more chicks in her presence. Let her see you talking to less attractive women.

That has the potential to make her jealous.

 

[Mercenary]

Originally posted by jlepik
Well when i called her to get instructions to her house she told me that she was sick and could not go out.

That's BS. Whenever YOU call THEM and then all of a sudden something comes up, that is a red flag. When exactly was she gonna give YOU this information. Were you just going to show up and she cancel right then and there?

My suggestion is to NOT initiate ANY conversation with her whatsoever. Don't ask her how she is feeling (regardless of she was really sick or not). The other guy's advice about talking to other females in her presence is good.

You need to show her that she's just a drop in the bucket to you. If at all possible, if you're date day hasn't passed yet, do something else with some friends so when she asks you what you did that night you can be like "I had a blast".

The other guys might not agree, but personally, I'd call her out on her flakiness. I would at the very least tell her that if she wants to hang out in the future that she would have to be the one to put forth the effort, b/c you don't want to waste you time. I've field tested that line multiple times, and even if a girl isn't attracted to you, she will still try to show some punctuality and give you some respect.

Good luck.

 

[coldcoal]

You should make an effort to nip these common lines in the butt asap.

In this situation, you could have offered rescheduling the date for the following weekend before you hung up the phone, like calling a bluff in poker. If they are truly sick, it wouldn't be a problem. If they lie, make them lie some more on the spot. You would have kown what was up by her response. Takes out a lot of the guess work and kills that soft spot in you that wants to give the wrong people another chance.

Get back up on that horse.
Good luck out there.

 

[Rallfus]

Originally posted by coldcoal
You should make an effort to nip these common lines in the butt asap.

In this situation, you could have offered rescheduling the date for the following weekend before you hung up the phone, like calling a bluff in poker. If they are truly sick, it wouldn't be a problem. If they lie, make them lie some more on the spot. You would have kown what was up by her response. Takes out a lot of the guess work and kills that soft spot in you that wants to give the wrong people another chance.

Get back up on that horse.
Good luck out there.

Right idea, just backwards. A for effort thought.

She cancled, therfor, if she was truely interested, she would has given you a counteroffer, or at the very least, can I make it up to you when I get better. But that didn't happen. She didn't give a damn about you or the plans you made for the evening.

Ditch her. Move on.


Best of luck.

Ralfus

 

[Crank_It_Up]

act like nothing happened, be cheerful, funny, clever, bold, teasing, ****y, and make another date. This time, don't call her before the date, just don't show up at all. When she sees you after this, act like nothing happened again... if she questions you on what happened, just tell her you forgot to call her and tell her something better came up. She'll say "Something better"? Shrug it off and say, yeah, it's a long story, and change the subject like it was no big deal.

Leave her guessing as to what the something better really was. The fact that you so casually blew her off, and that she could so easily be replaced with something better, will mess with her swollen head.

 

[coldcoal]

Originally posted by Rallfus
Right idea, just backwards. A for effort thought.

She cancled, therfor, if she was truely interested, she would has given you a counteroffer, or at the very least, can I make it up to you when I get better. But that didn't happen. She didn't give a damn about you or the plans you made for the evening.

I suggest guys do it "backwards" if they have any reservations on how to react in such situaions. Reason being that these are usually the same guys who become confused yet once again if she remains talkative after the fact.

It is not that she isn't interested, it is that he does not know how to tell. Taking an active roll in confirming the gut feeling, I believe, will help develop his own sense of interpretation.

 

[jlepik]

So get this. Now she says that she is iffy on the whole dating people you work with thing. First of all why did she make the effort of saying she wanted to give us a chance, Then break the date and Now pull this BS. WTF is this about. Should i just give her the boot or what.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Dood!!! Do you want her to look you straight in the eye and say "I'm not interested in dating you!" Geez bro, take a hint she's not interested!! Move on, not a big deal and personally I agree with her, its never a good idea to date someone you work with because you see them at work, away from work and things get boring REAL QUICK!



PIMP

 

[KiInCollege]

Most girls want to seem polite. They can't say no to giving out their number, even when they have no interest. Many women have confided this information to me, so you should trust me.

Consider yourself lucky that she choose to be honest about her feelings before you spent cash on her. And by "honest" I mean lie.

 

[Mercenary]

Originally posted by jlepik
WTF is this about. Should i just give her the boot or what.

I TOLD you it was BS man. The ONLY way you can save your respect is if you call her out on this ****. I don't mean, "NEXT" her or whatever and just ignore her... cuz she's already nexted you. I mean you have to tell her that what she did was unacceptable. Wasting your time. Say this Verbatim: "I thought you were a bit more mature than to waste my time like that. I guess I was wrong about you". No discussing how you feel, and no entertaining her feelings either, just leave her with that thought and start looking for other women.

 

[Aztec]

Originally posted by Crank_It_Up
act like nothing happened, be cheerful, funny, clever, bold, teasing, ****y, and make another date. This time, don't call her before the date, just don't show up at all. When she sees you after this, act like nothing happened again... if she questions you on what happened, just tell her you forgot to call her and tell her something better came up. She'll say "Something better"? Shrug it off and say, yeah, it's a long story, and change the subject like it was no big deal...

I agree to acting like it doesn't bother you what she did, even if it does. But I wouldn't set up another date just for a retribution.

Try to talk and date other girls at work; it will provide social proof favoring you, if she sees you with other girls.

This girl was just being polite when she gave you her digits and flaking on you was her way to say "no" to your advances. Now I'm not saying to totally stop your pursuit with this chick--that if you really dig her. See my paragraph 2 and then proceed. If she's lucky, you may ask her out again

 

[Mazman]

I'd take it as a "No, I don't want to go out with you".

If she called earlier and said she was sick then I might buy it.

I personally would just move on and forget about her.

 

[BrWnSugaMan]

Here is one last strategy:

*Call her up one night and tell her that you found a better job and will not be working at the current job any longer with her. Then tell her that since you guys don't work anymore you can now date.

Then see what she says.

 

[Lone_raider]

I'd give up on this one. A cancellation and an excuse not to go out with you? In my experience if a girl is truly interested she would make every attempt to accomodate you and try and get on that date.

Someone else hit the nail on the head, don't make excuses for the wrong people. I did this for the longest time despite knowing better. You get hurt worse in the end, give her the boot! Better yet, never call her again and don't talk to her at work. She wants to talk, she'll have to come up to you.

 

[1hepcat]

option play

Man, she pulled the option play on you here bud. When you set up a date, get the address and directions on the spot! If she suggests that you call her back for directions at the last minute, then what you need to do is just don't call her back. i did that once and the chick changed her mind, called me, and well, she was a psycho, but at least I got her on the option. It was funny how flustered she got when I didn't play her game.

 

[Disco]

I had a girl cancel our first date a few years ago, canceled 30 minutes before I we were going out. I didn't get upset, showed no sign of it bothering me (i was bouncing then, so i had a list of other girls i could waste my time with). I called her back 1.5 months later and we ended up dating for 8 months. She said she knew I was quality b/c I made her orgasm the first time we had sex.

On a side note, I never date people I work with or are around. Just makes things a mess if something goes wrong.

 

[Paradox]

Re: Re: First Date Cancelled

Originally posted by Mercenary
That's BS. Whenever YOU call THEM and then all of a sudden something comes up, that is a red flag. When exactly was she gonna give YOU this information. Were you just going to show up and she cancel right then and there?

My suggestion is to NOT initiate ANY conversation with her whatsoever. Don't ask her how she is feeling (regardless of she was really sick or not). The other guy's advice about talking to other females in her presence is good.

You need to show her that she's just a drop in the bucket to you. If at all possible, if you're date day hasn't passed yet, do something else with some friends so when she asks you what you did that night you can be like "I had a blast".

The other guys might not agree, but personally, I'd call her out on her flakiness. I would at the very least tell her that if she wants to hang out in the future that she would have to be the one to put forth the effort, b/c you don't want to waste you time. I've field tested that line multiple times, and even if a girl isn't attracted to you, she will still try to show some punctuality and give you some respect.

Good luck.

Ditto. Actually, ditto what everyone said especially merc, rallfus and disco. I wouldn't even call her back. She cancelled on you!She didn't make a counteroffer or a raincheck or anything. That means she is not interested. That means she is not interested.That means she is not interested That means she is not interested. You can persue but do so at your own risk. you will be going after a low interest girl who has low interest in you. Face it, she doesn't want to be with you.

probably the only thing she did right was to call and cancel. She could have stood you up but she didn't want to confront you about it later. She wants no conflict with you. you are in the friendzone my friend. Think phantom zone. No escape. You have been such a good emotional tampon but she does not want to sleep in the same bed with you.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Re: Re: First Date Cancelled

Originally posted by Mercenary
That's BS. Whenever YOU call THEM and then all of a sudden something comes up, that is a red flag. When exactly was she gonna give YOU this information. Were you just going to show up and she cancel right then and there?

My suggestion is to NOT initiate ANY conversation with her whatsoever. Don't ask her how she is feeling (regardless of she was really sick or not). The other guy's advice about talking to other females in her presence is good.

You need to show her that she's just a drop in the bucket to you. If at all possible, if you're date day hasn't passed yet, do something else with some friends so when she asks you what you did that night you can be like "I had a blast".

The other guys might not agree, but personally, I'd call her out on her flakiness. I would at the very least tell her that if she wants to hang out in the future that she would have to be the one to put forth the effort, b/c you don't want to waste you time. I've field tested that line multiple times, and even if a girl isn't attracted to you, she will still try to show some punctuality and give you some respect.

Good luck.

I agree with all of the above except calling her on her flakiness. Is she worth the effort? She's a flake, you know it and she knows it.

In a nutshell, if a woman has a high interest level, whenever they need to cancel, they always offer another day/time to meet and are specific about it. If they don't, it just means that they decided to do something else at that time and feel that you will be available whenever (if ever) she decides to call.

Just move on, women like that aren't worth the effort.