First date after bpd ex looking for tips

[xstang77]

Alright guys, I've been broken up with the bpd ex for over 2 months and I've read the dj bible etc. to not be afc. I sent a message to a girl on a dating site including my number and a few days later she texts me,I followed advice and let her know early that my intention is to meet up for a date. We talked a little and shared interests and she agreed to the date,here's the negatives,just the way it happened to be we set up the date last Saturday for this coming weekend,she then continued to text me throughout the rest of the day but I kept my frame etc. I leave it so she sends the last text, I've only reached out Monday to wish her a happy birthday and she still mentioned she's looking forward to meeting me,seems like a caregiver and a good person etc. now the next negative is she lives 1.5 hours from me which we both agreed wouldn't be an issue and I could use something to help keep my mind off the bpd ex, I know it's the proper way to tell her where to meet etc. but being the man for the first date I'm thinking drive to her but don't know where to meet,maybe let her offer advice? And I plan to confirm date details tommorow like I told her. I'm making sure to keep lc to not kill interest,any tips and advice?

 

[Julian]

Just reconfirm her location, then be like oh you are in so an so place...well lets meet halfway at ____insert restauraant/bar whatever. Say it in an assertive, logical/well duh type of way. Its the only reasonable answer that makes sense. UNLESS you want her to come to you. Id say meet halfway. That way if shes a nutter she doesnt know where you live.

 

[xstang77]

I wanted to do the halfway thing but she's lives in a city with A lot to do and anywhere halfway is kinda middle of nowhere (there's no even halfway.i have no issue driving to her just kinda sucks to drive that far and keep the rule of only 2hr date max,she's interested in seeing if we have a connection.

 

[Julian]

so whats up with your city is there not stuff to do there, are there not women there? going 1.5 hours for a female can be a blow out, trust me i know cuz it happened to me last week LOL.

idk your situation, if your options are severely limited it may be worth the 3 hour driving time back an forth..but think about the future what if you do hit it off...your 1.5 hours away at all times. not gonna work out bro

 

[xstang77]

Yea man, I live in a small ****ty town and my ex pretty much falsely ruined my reputation around here. It's on my mind how the distance can be a killer, just kinda trying to pick myself back up and get out there after my experience.

 

[xstang77]

There a small town with some restaurants and a nice state park,about 55 min.for her and 43 for me. Is that to much for a first date? What is a good date for a possibly sane woman lmao.

 

[Bible_Belt]

keep the rule of only 2hr date max

I think that's a dumb rule. It would keep you from ever getting laid. I've spent the night with plenty of first dates.

 

[xstang77]

Just what I saw mentioned on here, she seems pretty interested and to be a caregiver so we'll see I guess.

 

[MrWood]

you DO NOT GO TO HER FIRST

a man does not run to a little woman
her pvssy will get more dry every mile you drive, her frame builds like a skyscraper..
"he will need to earn my pvssy! i will put blankets to the sofa to let him know im a proper girl"

she MUST come to you first, her pvssy will be dripping every mile she gets closer...
"what will he think? what will he do? what if he wants to fvck? what if he hates my t1ts? what if..."

 

[xstang77]

Roger that,meeting at a somewhat mutual place...well see what happens.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

I think that's a dumb rule. It would keep you from ever getting laid. I've spent the night with plenty of first dates.

I like RooshV take on this. Go as fast as she lets you. If you can get the bang on the first date, do so, and is probably going to take more than 2 hours.

 

[xstang77]

Messaged her today about the date and she tells me she has to go to court for her kid about custody with the father Saturday though he most likely won't show ..then asks what I had planned for a date and we decide a mutual area, then she sends a link to help with date ideas for the area neither of us know much about,I chose and told her to let me know,she said she would feel bad if I drove all the way to her and she's really looking forward to meeting me and she'll let me know,idk thinking about going back to the drawing board.

 

[Julian]

Messaged her today about the date and she tells me she has to go to court for her kid about custody with the father Saturday though he most likely won't show ..then asks what I had planned for a date and we decide a mutual area, then she sends a link to help with date ideas for the area neither of us know much about,I chose and told her to let me know,she said she would feel bad if I drove all the way to her and she's really looking forward to meeting me and she'll let me know,idk thinking about going back to the drawing board.

lol she has custody drama with a baby daddy? your gonna end up with a BULLET in your HEAD messing around here with that. Find yourself a pretty chick thats younger with no kids..come on bro..

 

[xstang77]

The guy never shows up for the meetings which are just visitations (edit) and has nothing to do with their life...at this point it's just a date/something to do.

 

[ubercat]

Bro this situation is covered in red flags like chicken pox.. take Mr wood s advice and in the meantime jump back on that website and line-up 2 more dates. You're already over thinking this. Believe me you can come up with plenty more single mother's at the end of a long drive ... I just don't know why you would want to. @bukowski_merit reckons he could get o l d girls come straight to his house in the country. Not sure if he is still around. Or maybe @Bible_Belt can share some tips for the locationally challenged. Personally I'd love to live in a little town in the countryside and I wouldn't be changing that for any hoes.

 

[ubercat]

@Bible_Belt I m curious. I've never had much luck with the long play first dates. My experience has been that if I'm not banging within 2 hours I'm not banging. The only time I have any luck with this is when I take them on a succession of micro dates on the night. I know you don't do that . So there's something to be learnt here.

How do you make it work for you? Do you pre qualify ie only make the date if they're willing to get sexy on the phone? Do you play it aloof on the date? Or do you go for comfort and rapport and escalate to the max?

 

[xstang77]

Yea I'm just gonna let it chill,if it happens it's something to do,if not no biggie,i don't mind the country the issue is more so the closed minded girls and my ex's bad mouthing me, bitches be crazy.

 

[Bible_Belt]

@Bible_BeltMy experience has been that if I'm not banging within 2 hours I'm not banging.

I don't date. I just meet to fvck. The only "date" part will be a couple drinks at a bar if we have never met before. That's comfort-building for the woman. But yeah, that doesn't take longer than two hours. Once we're back at my place or hers, and at least making out, I don't really consider that as time spent on the date part; it's foreplay. Sometimes the foreplay will take several hours, sometimes a few minutes.

Another rule I break is that if she texts me, I answer. I don't ignore a woman or pretend to be busy when I'm not. Sometimes we text a lot in the day or two before a date. I use that to make her get comfortable with me, laugh a little, and build value as well, as well as to disqualify women who come off as prudish or boring. Written communication is my strong point, so I am playing to my advantage.

 

[xstang77]

Bro this situation is covered in red flags like chicken pox.. take Mr wood s advice and in the meantime jump back on that website and line-up 2 more dates. You're already over thinking this. Believe me you can come up with plenty more single mother's at the end of a long drive ... I just don't know why you would want to. @bukowski_merit reckons he could get o l d girls come straight to his house in the country. Not sure if he is still around. Or maybe @Bible_Belt can share some tips for the locationally challenged. Personally I'd love to live in a little town in the countryside and I wouldn't be changing that for any hoes.

Upstate ny sucks for females man,90% of the bitches around here over 18 have kids and still act too good for you.

 

[ubercat]

Thanks @Bible_Belt always interested in different approaches.

And what s your MO at the bar