This will probably be my last post, as I've learned something tonight which caused me to come very close to getting my game where I want it to be.
I notice a lot of recovering AFC's go from their AFC behavior to being a complete jerk. Here's my answer to finding that balance.
Be a humble jerk!
Kinda contradicting, I know. But trust me, it's possible. The key to it is knowing when to keep your mouth closed. That's it...
We all know that when we're good at something, it's always best to hold your tongue to prevent others from feeling inferiour... The same holds true when picking up women. Sure, it's cool to boast to your friends that your a pimp and it's kind of funny when they don't believe you. But as long as you have the game to back yourself up, they will become intrigued. I have proven that tonight.
So, when is the proper time to hold you tongue? That's up to you to judge. I remember one of my big mistakes (which would lead me to oneitis, anyways) was I would go on and on about a girl I just met to my friends and how I was able to use my brand new skills to get her interested. Big mistake. If you find a girl that completely intrigues you, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. You bring attention to the girl you're trying to bag when you do this which causes other guys to want to hook with this chick in an attempt to out do you. Plus, it makes you sound fake, anyways. This holds true, especially when they still see you as an AFC. In addition to this, don't brag about how you can pick up you're so good at picking up women to other women. This just feeds them ammo to shoot you down in case something goes wrong, which can be devistating.
Another part to avoiding total jerk syndrom is to realize the fact that they ARE women, not dudes with vaginas. You cannot treat them like you would treat your buddies. They are emotionally unstable and will take offense if you keep neghitting 'em or teasing them too much. (I've heard that no more than 3 neg hits is a good idea, and agree completely with that. It's also only good before any type of rapport is built up. After that, limit it to once or twice, and usually about something they personally did to you. i.e. flaking out on a date, mentioning that they hang out with you too often.) Offer a compliment here or there. Embrace them in a good hug. Don't be afraid to turn them down if the hug they give you isn't good enough, but don't completely back off. "Woah woah woah, you call that hug? *wink*" works wonders. And don't forget to flirt. Physically or vocally. Being able to make a girl laugh just by looking her straight in the eyes means a LOT, especially if they are VERY confident.
With all that being said, hopefully this will help out, even if only a little bit. I'm sure there is LOTS more to add, and I hope some of the more experienced DJ's do add bits and pieces, if not whole appendixes to this. But right now, I've definitely got to go to bed. Had an exhausting night tonight.
Take care fellas, and hope the information proves useful to SOMEONE on the board.
I notice a lot of recovering AFC's go from their AFC behavior to being a complete jerk. Here's my answer to finding that balance.
Be a humble jerk!
Kinda contradicting, I know. But trust me, it's possible. The key to it is knowing when to keep your mouth closed. That's it...
We all know that when we're good at something, it's always best to hold your tongue to prevent others from feeling inferiour... The same holds true when picking up women. Sure, it's cool to boast to your friends that your a pimp and it's kind of funny when they don't believe you. But as long as you have the game to back yourself up, they will become intrigued. I have proven that tonight.
So, when is the proper time to hold you tongue? That's up to you to judge. I remember one of my big mistakes (which would lead me to oneitis, anyways) was I would go on and on about a girl I just met to my friends and how I was able to use my brand new skills to get her interested. Big mistake. If you find a girl that completely intrigues you, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. You bring attention to the girl you're trying to bag when you do this which causes other guys to want to hook with this chick in an attempt to out do you. Plus, it makes you sound fake, anyways. This holds true, especially when they still see you as an AFC. In addition to this, don't brag about how you can pick up you're so good at picking up women to other women. This just feeds them ammo to shoot you down in case something goes wrong, which can be devistating.
Another part to avoiding total jerk syndrom is to realize the fact that they ARE women, not dudes with vaginas. You cannot treat them like you would treat your buddies. They are emotionally unstable and will take offense if you keep neghitting 'em or teasing them too much. (I've heard that no more than 3 neg hits is a good idea, and agree completely with that. It's also only good before any type of rapport is built up. After that, limit it to once or twice, and usually about something they personally did to you. i.e. flaking out on a date, mentioning that they hang out with you too often.) Offer a compliment here or there. Embrace them in a good hug. Don't be afraid to turn them down if the hug they give you isn't good enough, but don't completely back off. "Woah woah woah, you call that hug? *wink*" works wonders. And don't forget to flirt. Physically or vocally. Being able to make a girl laugh just by looking her straight in the eyes means a LOT, especially if they are VERY confident.
With all that being said, hopefully this will help out, even if only a little bit. I'm sure there is LOTS more to add, and I hope some of the more experienced DJ's do add bits and pieces, if not whole appendixes to this. But right now, I've definitely got to go to bed. Had an exhausting night tonight.
Take care fellas, and hope the information proves useful to SOMEONE on the board.
