You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
The diamond has been cut, it is yet to be polished.Originally posted by Docs
This is the only question I have. Sapiens, do you feel your job is done?
Originally posted by Sapiens
LIT,
Thanks for the kind words.
You just brought to mind the meaning of the cliché; “It takes one to know one.”
You definitely get it, I am happy for you. You realize most guys will never “Get it.”
Cheers,
-Sapiens
So what's your point?Originally posted by mrRuckus
Ah yes... anyone who disagrees with you doesn't "get it." Couldn't POSSSSIBLY be because you're wrong. Then those that do agree with you you stand around with in a circle jerk patting each other on the back for being the smarties while everyone else is clearly, obviously, overtly defective.
Not that you are even wrong in this case (or right.. what the hell do i know?) but that common "holier than thou if you don't agree with me you're dense" attitude is irksome.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Pablo Querico,Originally posted by QueRico
Sapiens,
I have read your thread since you began to write it. I believe your words, call me naïve but I wanted to believe and have seen the power of your wisdom come to life in me. My wife divorced me because I was a cuckold and too weak to face her infidelity. She took all my worldly possession and left me flat broke. I deserved it since I was too weak to standup to her. Not anymore, she tried to intimidate me with the law if I did not pay her the alimony support her lawyer forced out of me. I am going back to court and will fight back this time, I rather rot in jail than be somebody’s doormat. I have printed all your post and read them over and over because I sense freedom within your words. I thank you Sapiens.
Your faithful apprentice,
Pablo QueRico
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.