"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Finding Women in their 30s for cold approach

ubercat

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Hi All

Firstly I'll fess up. My last 3 long term g/fs came from OLD. For whatever reason I seem to be able to find smart good looking women there - I know that's not the normal experience - maybe just a lucky run. And I'm fine at randomly chatting to chicks in daily life - I just never close.

So...time to step up and try some cold approach. Point is to expand the comfort zone/pipeline - I expect the shootdowns - water/duck.

Problem is I'm 45 - looking for mid-late 30s women. Not sure I'm up to just stopping them in the street yet.

Like to hear from some of the older DJs as to where they go for target rich environments.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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LiveFreeX

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Goto the Philippines. Why would you want older 30 something desperate yuckos. My friend is 48 and he bangs a 26 y/o, shes petite and Asian, he's a super beta nerd.
 

ubercat

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Yeah - my last g/f was chinese and I speak a bit. I've had Japanese and Vietnamese girls too. Totally agree with you that Asian's a good option but I'm talking about a bit of regular local practice to up my skills not a two week millionaire poonfest. I'm sure that the 40s DJs don't go to the pubs/clubs the guys in their 20s/30s do. It changes - chasing still attractive women in their 30s who aren't too screwed up - you're hunting unicorns most are wifed up with kids.
 

logicallefty

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I am 41 and still a "regular" at two different bars, one right by home and one right by work. But that's the extent of bars/pubs that I go to. I'm usually not there sargging, I'm usually there with friends or even by myself unwinding from work. I have got numbers at both before, tho. If you have some bars/pubs that are near you and have single women, I would hit those. Me personally I tend to meet women at places where I am not trying to; grocery stores, gas stations, at my bank, etc. Hooked up with my tax preparer at H&R Block a few years ago and had a few month fling b@nging the $$$$ out of her, that was fun.

As for cold approaches, check out this thread of mine with some good openers that are very easy to do most of the time:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=224778
 

evan12

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I it is little sad when you get older and single , you find a lot of women already started their life.
I found cafes to be a good place for single women.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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Cloudtopsun2100

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There probably isn't anything much worse than spending lonely, drizzly Tuesday nights walking around trying to hit on fatties or extremely uninterested college girls when you are in your 40s and then heading over to Taco Bell or something to adjust your bandana while scarfing down on a chicken enchilada. I think I saw a fat dude sporting a faded red polo shirt stuffed in in the back, out in the front due to beer belly daygamer dude trying that in like 2005. Just seeing that ruined MY day.

Solution: head over to the Philippines, Brazil or Thailand and dress well then proceed to meet nice girls while hopefully doing your work remotely. If you can't you might as well take a month off and see what the outside world can offer.

LiveFreeX said:
Goto the Philippines. Why would you want older 30 something desperate yuckos. My friend is 48 and he bangs a 26 y/o, shes petite and Asian, he's a super beta nerd.
 

ubercat

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Thanks for the replies guys. Evan -plenty of cafes near me. B interested in your approach. Seldom see women on their own. And if they r they have nose in ph or magazine.
 

ubercat

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To add some value back to the thread - on conversation these guys are interesting: conversationhacking.com
 

ubercat

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Arrrgh conversationhacks.com

BTW just for the record I can pass for late 30s still have all my hair and regularly beat 25 y/os at tennis and badminton so probably don't quite feel ready for the bandanna ;-)
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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evan12

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I think most people start their life at 20ies , so it is really hard to see woman in thirties (and in my experience event in late 20es ) single . you have to do some compromise , especially if you are average guy.
OP : you didn't get back to us , how it was the searching so far ?
 

ubercat

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Well not really searching yet more researching. I m taking few months off the scene to work on bod,money and career. Also fixing up a rundown old house I bought so plenty to do. Still being a bit social just not chasing skirt.
 

ubercat

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My neighborhood is struggle street.l like to have a local cafe and bar where I m known. That s where I triage chicks for quick dates so I don't waste time. But really rubbish round here. Finally found a cafe that mite b good. Still searching for a bar. Did find a fair near by runs every Sunday. Good instant date potential in a park. And i ve joined a local badminton group which seems pretty active. So I think the plan is to get known in my area and then go hunting. I he been on top of some woman since I was 16 so six months out to learn to enjoy my own company seems reasonable.
 

ubercat

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My neighborhood is struggle street.l like to have a local cafe and bar where I m known. That s where I triage chicks for quick dates so I don't waste time. But really rubbish round here. Finally found a cafe that mite b good. Still searching for a bar. Did find a fair near by runs every Sunday. Good instant date potential in a park. And i ve joined a local badminton group which seems pretty active. So I think the plan is to get known in my area and then go hunting. I he been on top of some woman since I was 16 so six months out to learn to enjoy my own company seems reasonable.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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zekko

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evan12 said:
I think most people start their life at 20ies , so it is really hard to see woman in thirties (and in my experience event in late 20es ) single . you have to do some compromise , especially if you are average guy.
There's a reason most people do their dating in their 20s. By the time you get into the 30s, most women are paired off, or lesbians, or terminal slvts, or have a car load of kids. I've been fortunate to have found the single, childless women that I have. Met them through friends, basically. Like my current girlfriend and I met at the same social function/dinner.
 

ubercat

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Yeah I know I'm a unicorn hunter but I'm up for the challenge ;-) Just like the rest of life - you have to keep swinging and it only takes one. But good women are always hard to find - most are just for practice or as we say in Oz s*$@s and giggles. I can cook all sorts of western food and am learning Thai cooking for my asian friends - speak 3 languages, earn six figures, am trained in several martial arts, am studying business courses, rennovating my house and I think I've got plenty of things to improve on - so guys are better than me!! It amazes me especially amongst the western girls how very unaccomplished they are and often quite proud of it - plenty of them can't even cook now.
 

Crates

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ubercat said:
Hi All

Firstly I'll fess up. My last 3 long term g/fs came from OLD. For whatever reason I seem to be able to find smart good looking women there - I know that's not the normal experience - maybe just a lucky run. And I'm fine at randomly chatting to chicks in daily life - I just never close.

So...time to step up and try some cold approach. Point is to expand the comfort zone/pipeline - I expect the shootdowns - water/duck.

Problem is I'm 45 - looking for mid-late 30s women. Not sure I'm up to just stopping them in the street yet.

Like to hear from some of the older DJs as to where they go for target rich environments.
A popular local dance class is a flippin gold mine for meeting women of all ages, but most especially in the 30-50 y/o range. If you have the dough and the time, I can't recommend it highly enough. At mine, the first week of the month is always free for newbies and it's well-advertised on MeetUp, CraigsList and other venues... so once a month, like clockwork, a new bevy of beauties rolls up (and the hottest, most dedicated women from the previous month remain).

Just make a damn good first impression; it's crucial if you'll be a regular there. Don't make apologies for being a player.

Welcome to Elysium.
 

ubercat

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Guys I'm resurrecting this old thread because I'm still having a problem with it. What I can't work out is I've gone to online dating because I'm pretty time poor at the moment.

Online there seems to be plenty of attractive women in their thirties. But of course the nature of the environment means its attention w**** City.

So I'd like to approach in the real world if nothing else just to improve my skills. But I really don't seem to see the same girls. If I go to the local shopping centre or the local market I just don't see any chicks in that age bracket that aren't wearing a ring.

Things are a little bit different here than in the states we don't have the same after work bar culture. I could try a fancy Hotel bars but I'm going to end up burning a lot of cash if I go that path.

Help me out here guys this is doing my head in.
 

ubercat

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And yeah I go to yoga class badminton and Tennis regularly and a few social events so I have a life. I have been slack about the dance classes. Scaramouche had some good suggestions on that so I'll get on to it.

My problem is specifically how to find targets for Day game.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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