"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Finding quality women for a relationship

gimmeyofonenumba

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 24, 2005
Messages
520
Reaction score
2
Location
GA
I struggle with this greatly. I can meet women that'll give sex to me very easily. It's simply not what im after. I approach at bars and do plentyoffish. Both of which can yield me sex or women that want a relationship but that are not quality. By quality I mean educated,career,personality and looks. My life is well put together and Im good looking. Iam in a smaller town so that does hurt my prospecting pool. I see alota posts on here about guys wanting to get laid, im looking for posts on finding quality women.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

gimmeyofonenumba

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 24, 2005
Messages
520
Reaction score
2
Location
GA
yeah I could care less how many people she's had sex with. that's not how I define quality I define quality as in the traits listed above
 

Griever114

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 2, 2012
Messages
39
Reaction score
1
Age
41
"Quality women".... looking back to my college, HS and frankly throughout my life experience find that term to be an oxymoron. We are no prizes ourselves but we are sure as hell more logical.

If you are looking for a relationship, dont bother. I have been of he mindset "hope for the best, expect the worst." Its better to be pleasantly surprised than dissappointed.

Then again, im a staunch believer in misanthropy.

As i said, hope for the best and expect the worst
 

women haze

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 20, 2009
Messages
484
Reaction score
23
Griever114 said:
"Quality women".... looking back to my college, HS and frankly throughout my life experience find that term to be an oxymoron. We are no prizes ourselves but we are sure as hell more logical.

If you are looking for a relationship, dont bother. I have been of he mindset "hope for the best, expect the worst." Its better to be pleasantly surprised than dissappointed.

Then again, im a staunch believer in misanthropy.

As i said, hope for the best and expect the worst
That is Sad...really what kind of times are we living in?
 

pdx1138

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
1,298
Reaction score
52
I met a girl/been dating on POF 2 months ago that fits all your requirements.

I still can't believe my luck and that she was on POF.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

Colossus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 22, 2005
Messages
3,494
Reaction score
543
"Quality" is certainly in the eye of the beholder. As you noted, one man's quality woman may be the same woman who fvcked the bouncer in a club bathroom. The mistake AFCs make is assuming, erroneously, that he has a novel window into her past behavior. An astute DJ could make some rational inferences, but you can never truly know. So unless you're dating a virgin, just assume there is nothing new under the sun.

But as far as where to find them....well you're right that POF and bars are probably a bad start. I've actually met several (what I would consider) quality women on OKCupid---meaning well-raised, respectful, strong values, educated, non-feminist, pretty women that other men would love to have.

POF is kind of for bottom-feeders, in my opinion. Of course you'll find the odd gem on there, just like in a bar; but exceptions dont make a rule. So I'd recommend upgrading your online strategy and not relying on bars, for starters. Social groups like rec softball or other active clubs can be a good place as well.
 

ilikecharlene

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
335
Reaction score
8
I hear a lot of online PUA artists/dating gurus say this, but IMO a quality woman is a subjective term.

Being educated is obviously a virtue, but not everybody values education. It doesn't make them bad, and numerous people can be and are successful without an education. I'd figure most PUA artists/dating gurus come from the class in society in which education is valued. A redneck who flunked out of high school could just as much get together with similar redneck women, even if he couldn't get an Ivy League graduate. I guess to me the term "quality woman" suggests that there are objectively desirable traits in humanity, and IMO this entirely depends on the individual and his or her culture.

For what it's worth, I would value an educated, non-*****y/shallow, intellectual and attractive woman, but that just melds with my own value system. of course, all hold a unique value system.
 

guru1000

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 20, 2007
Messages
5,299
Reaction score
4,338
Those foolish enough to believe there is no quality; those immersed in the fallacy that all are equal; are also those who fail to set the bar high enough to invite greatness into their sphere. Such a pitiful creature are "those," as all are welcome without qualification.
 

Viagra4Soul

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 9, 2011
Messages
87
Reaction score
4
eHarmony - it takes FOREVER, it screens majorely (against them, and you) and it's very expensive, but then quality isn't easy to find.

Worth a shot if you are looking for relationship material.
 

SecondHalf

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 25, 2011
Messages
651
Reaction score
24
Location
North America
gimmeyofonenumba said:
By quality I mean educated,career,personality and looks
It's tough, and it takes time. Lots of time.
Your definition of "Quality" are all mandatory traits (like having too legs) for me. It hardly scratches the surface for my definition of quality. I found women with just those four traits in abundance. For me the hard part was finding one with integrity, patience, tenacity and resolve.

I dated for almost a year before I found a woman that I would deem as a "Quality" woman. I found her on POF (actually, she found me).

My point here is don't get discouraged, just keep at it. One will come that works for you.

I also really like what samspade posted. My "Quality" woman had some precarious years herself. Haven't we all?


SH
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

floydb25

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 26, 2011
Messages
1,762
Reaction score
108
Location
NC
Gotta keep dating until you find one. There is no easy ticket. Like the old saying goes, gotta kiss a lot of frogs...

But, you are definitely looking in the wrong places, which is going to slim your chances greatly. Bars and PoF are probably the two worst places to go. Might as well look in the dumpster if you're going to do that.
 

synergy1

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2006
Messages
1,984
Reaction score
192
floydb25 said:
Gotta keep dating until you find one. There is no easy ticket. Like the old saying goes, gotta kiss a lot of frogs...

But, you are definitely looking in the wrong places, which is going to slim your chances greatly. Bars and PoF are probably the two worst places to go. Might as well look in the dumpster if you're going to do that.
I agree, you gotta play the numbers game and be diligent it seems. While the ideal of a quality women might be a myth to some, to others, they already have a decent idea of what they are looking for. Personally, I have met a few quality women already so I know its a matter of patience and knowing when the opportunity presents itself.

I don't fully discount bars/clubs, but am not treating them as the be all end all to meet a high caliber chick. Its one of many ways to get your name out there. I mean after all, I go to bars but consider myself decent quality - of course there's bias in there ;) However, as others have said, you gotta try a variety of activities to improve the odds. Another approach is to network a few degrees outside your normal social circle. There are plenty of people who don't socialize regularly within your normal group of friends, but they might prove to be good girls to try and go after.

Social groups like rec softball or other active clubs can be a good place as well.

I have been active in a few rec league sports for almost a year, but have found no success. For starters, its mostly couples that join in my neck of the woods. However, its a good way to make friends which can lead to new social circles. I am patient, but most importantly I play sports because I like to do it, so if there is any success to be be had, i'll be sure to share it with the community.
 

synergy1

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2006
Messages
1,984
Reaction score
192
Aaron B said:
How quality are you?
Heh I hate these types of questions because answering feels like boasting.

I have always been diligent with whatever I do. I graduated with two degrees in engineering attaining honors in both. I have been an entrepreneur before 30 , made some money from that and am now working on becoming a fully qualified nuclear engineer. I work out, am in shape and as far as I know look okay. Most importantly, I make a lot of friends can seem to have fun with anyone I socialize with. In short, I put in the time and effort to be good at things I value.

I work hard at improving myself and living a honest life. This sort of effort , regardless of its success is something I also look for in women. A girl who puts in the time into herself, her friends, and job are quality traits which I admire. Does it have to be a super rich chick who looks like Kate Upton? I wouldn't say no, but I am realistic enough to know when I have met a chick who fits the bill and is worth going out on dates with.

The question I quoted was addressed in another post by backbreaker. He challenged posters to list 10 good attributes about themselves. Before going to search for 'quality' I think its good to understand that ones self must also bring something to the table.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

ilikecharlene

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
335
Reaction score
8
guru1000 said:
Those foolish enough to believe there is no quality; those immersed in the fallacy that all are equal; are also those who fail to set the bar high enough to invite greatness into their sphere. Such a pitiful creature are "those," as all are welcome without qualification.
Quality is subjective. Everything is subjective. And only a fool would think everybody is equal; we are all different and value differently.
 

synergy1

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2006
Messages
1,984
Reaction score
192
ilikecharlene said:
Quality is subjective. Everything is subjective. And only a fool would think everybody is equal; we are all different and value differently.
Certainly. What I think of quality some guys wouldn't really even find attractive. I can name a particular instance within my own social circle wherein one of the girls I think is attractive based on my quality guidelines , and my friend doesn't really even notice. Actually, I think what some guys find as quality women might make other guys cringe. My friends last girlfriend was obnoxious and is the stuff I have nightmares of but he was convinced he could marry her. Here is what she could bring to the table:

Complained a lot. Demanding. Couldn't cook. Whined a lot. Broke. Had daddy pay her rent. Gained weight during the relationship.

But in his eyes this women was quality. maybe he overlooked these things from time to time.

So than what kind of quality traits do good women bring to the table for you?
 
Top