“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

Finding Meaning

lchck

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Hey Guys,

This has taken me a while to come up with, and a while to get down on paper. This article is best accepted with an open mind. The information here will be difficult to digest if you decide to fully believe it and even put it to use,
for its principles contradict many common thoughts that you have likely been conditioned to believe during your lives. This document will delve into certain aspects of Eastern philosophy without getting into what many of you may
believe to be eccentricities. I am not a Buddhist. This article is written from an atheistic perspective with an Eastern twist, yet it can present much value to anyone. I am not saying that what I am putting forth is in any way the right way to live life, and I am aware that this article may be in many ways inaccurate.

With that said, this article is not about seducing women. Not directly, at least. It is searching for something deeper, something that I believe pertains to the DJ mindset: how to live a good and happy life. Many of you might be turned off by that sentence. Perhaps you are focusing on different things and don't want to focus on finding happiness in your life. Perhaps you think you've got it all figured out and don't want another article or ideology to throw you off again. Whatever the case, I would suggest that you read this article with an open mind. It might, if not completely alter your perception, help you see things slightly differently.

Anyways, this article will start by illuminating many of the problems in our daily manner of perceiving things. Some of these statements may be obvious to you, some may "click" and put much of your perception into perspective if you give yourself the time to think about them.

I. The Nature of Reality

As far as I am concerned, throughout history, we have been fooled into many manners of perceiving things. I would like to tell you right now: our manner of viewing things is not the right one, any more so than that of a bird. Our perception is simply a tool that has allowed to survive throughout history when other species have died out. We live much of our life in a box that serves a great evolutionary purpose but that does not necessarily help us to experience the essence of reality as is. We have not simply been born divine creatures with true perception of the world around us. We are not the center of the universe. We, like all other animals, will live and die after a relatively infinitesimal period of time. We have a unique manner of perceiving things that we can in no way prove is the right one. This manner of perceiving things serves a purpose.

An example of the usefulness of our perception put into use is that of our ability of categorizing things. We as humans have a huge obsession with categorizing things. We give things names that have a great significance to us, but do these names really represent the essence of an object? A person says knife, and another is satisfied. What is a knife really? A knife is nothing but a bunch of atoms which are constantly whirring and whizzing at a blinding speed. Against these atoms photons of light are reflecting. Yet when we look at this, we simply say: metal knife. Our manner of perceiving things has served us a great biological purpose, by allowing us to use these objects practically, and by keeping us from having to take in a million things at once. We don't have to look at all the little bits and edges of the knife- we just clump it all into the concept we call a knife. Time, as well, is another constraint of our manner of viewing things. Perhaps reality is not, as we see it, a chronologically flowing entity. Perhaps reality is really experienced all at once, and not through the dimension of time. We experience things through all of our senses, but there is no evidence to prove that our manner of experiencing things is at all the right one. For all we know we are as blind as ants.

The ego is a limiting human concept. People see you and you see yourself as " the funny one", or "the depressed guy" or the "cool guy." What do these concepts really mean, for crying out loud. You are not any of these things. You are nothing and because of this everything. "You" does not exist. Your personality and ego are concepts that, also, have been created to serve evolutionary purposes. Your personality helps you interact with others, and your ego also serves a purpose: it leads you to do what you want and therefore helps you obtain what you need to survive. In an evolutionary timeframe, the "me, me" urge is extremely useful. However, in order to help us fully understand reality or at least to enjoy it the way it should be, it is extremely counterproductive.

Emotions, themselves, are nothing but chemical responses to reality. Have you ever been under the grip of great anger, or sadness, or depression? It is unbelievable how much a little too much of a few chemicals released in the brain can change the way you see life. When you are under the grip of stress or anxiety, you feel like there is no way out. You can be the richest or poorest man on earth, yet your emotions will still dominate you. You struggle, and struggle, yet everything seems to be crumbling around you. It is a horrible state to be in. Yet it actually is not. It is simply a certain batch of chemicals being released in your brain, an instinctual biological response developed over millenia to help you adapt to the world you live in. It is not "horrible" or "unpleasant". It simply is, like everything else in the world.

Do we have any reason to believe that a higher power exists? If so I would like to see a legit one. Religious people will simply answer: "You must have faith!" Religion is simply a way to avoid utter responsibility for our existence. The most obsessive promoters of religion are the most blind of people. Have you ever noticed that a religious person will get extremely violent when his religion is attacked? Accepting the possibility that an entire view of the world has until then been false, and that one really has no purpose in the world, is too much for some people. Religion, as far as I see it, is something that people cling to because they cannot accept the reality that one day they will die. They cling to it extremely tightly simply because the possibility of simply living a meaningless life and then dying is too terrifying for them to do otherwise.

Reality is meaningless. There is no higher purpose to it. We are simply another construct of evolution, masses of atoms clumped together in a way that time has dictated. We are a tremendous cosmic coincidence. There really is no meaning. If you die right now or in ten years, nothing will matter. If your girlfriend or your mother or father do die as well, it will mean nothing. The way we see concepts are simply our way of identifying clusters of atoms and in turn smaller particles and using them to our means. Our way of identifying objects, or people, has no firm basis in reality. It is simply a language we use, not to understand the world around us, but rather to use it for our biological purposes. Beauty is completely subjective. Do you think a HB 10 is really beautiful to anyone but us humans? We find her beautiful because her shapes and curves have been biologically ingrained to us as attractive...evolutionarilly she produces the best offspring. In reality she is just a clump of cosmic dust and in 100 years she will be dead.

People want to be remembered when they die. Why is this? People are clinging to life, they are afraid of death. Wanting to be remembered after death is a last ditch effort to be part of life. People simply can't accept that they are not the center of the universe, and that things will not change at all whether they die or not. You may say "things will change tremendously if a great leader dies before spreading his message across the world." How so? Reality will still be a bunch of atoms, there will still be unhappiness in the world, and the world will still be an unbelievably small part of a universe that most likely has absolutely no significance.

In short, there are many flaws in our manner of perceiving things that clearly block us off from reality. I believe that part of being happy is accepting reality as it is, and taking off the rose-colored glasses. Accepting these truths completely may be difficult for everyone, and some may refuse to believe it. I am not even saying this is reality, but I am pretty sure this is a much more realistic picture of it than we have ever been taught in high school or, I assume, college.

On to the flaws of our way of thinking in society.
 

lchck

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II. The Flaws in our Value System

It's time to break away from the crowd. People always decide to make fashion statements, or to rebel in someway or another, but few realise how flawed our collective picture of reality really is. These small rebellions are not really an urge to find something better in life, they are simply small petty, cries for attention from a system that is neglecting them. It's a bit as if you are held captive by prisoners for a few years, and, being the rebellious guy you are, you refuse to eat the food they give you one day. Oh boy, you're really rebelling now... How about you try to escape the system altogether...break out of the prison and swim away to freedom. You don't have to settle your petty little grudge with the jailkeeper, just break away and swim towards your own happiness...more on this later.. back to society. Society is extremely materialistic. People are conditioned to want the latest product, advertisements everywhere tell us what we want.. we are manipulated into buying things by insidious techniques. Society has other flaws, however, that are more elusive and deeply ingrained. One such flaw is the job concept. Wake up everyday, go to a job you don't necessarily love, so you can bring gifts to a woman you married for her looks and eventually retire, after having spent eight hours a day for forty years slaving away at a job that raised your blood pressure every day. Why do people do this? Its the norm...they are brought up this way. Education is another flawed system. Why spend 25 000 a year on certain private schools when your kid can only tell you the capital of maybe 15 countries in the world? There are millions of these flawed concepts which most people simply openly accept.
Life in our society is completely goal-oriented. The "jackpot" is to be rich, have a good or hot wife, depending on your mindset, and to be the "alpha male". Being a leader is considered great, giving back to people is also great...however all of these things are simply our goals because society, through some outlet or another, tells us they are. What about happiness? Isn't this supposedly the ultimate goal? I want you to tell me, honestly, how much time you have spent every day, simply looking at the nature around you, instead of thinking about your future plans with some chick, about your job promotions, or how you're going to revolutionize your business.

This brings me to possibly the biggest flaw in our goal-oriented way of life. Being. If you go on the streets of New York City, everyone is absent. People walk ahead with a vacant expression, thinking intensely about something...their wife, their business meeeting...hardly ANYBODY is simply being present. Simply walking and admiring the day. Simply walking, breathing, and being there in the moment. Our goal-oriented way of life, as well as our aversion to pain or discomfort, have enabled us to develop the habit of mentally being anywhere but where we actually are. Great businessmen, beggars, vendors on the street, have all fallen into the trap of simply not being there in the present. Contradict me if you will, but this is most likely the most important thing for us to do. Now that that reality section put your life into perspective( hopefully), you should be able to realise that business promotions mean very little when you die. There is nothing more important to focus on than the present. The present is slipping away as you read, every single second that was the present is now the past. By living in the future, you are constantly living in a time that will never actually come. If you always live in tomorrow, it will never come. Almost everyone thinks of something in the distant future, yet the present moment is being forgotten. Just being, possibly the most essential part of our lives, is being completely ignored, in the place of other more "important" things.

III. The Solution: Finding Meaning

I have just told you that life is meaningless, and that your entire conception of reality is inherently flawed. If you believe me, you're probably not too happy. Maybe you are. In either case, however, these truths have been given to you in a rather harsh manner in order to help you see more clearly. Life has no external meaning. There is no great goal to reach. Is that all so bad? Just because there is no light at the end of the tunnel doesn't mean you can't enjoy riding the train anyway. To be happy, you must accept that you are going to die. Not only accept it, but realise that this fact has no real importance. Who cares if you are going to die? Why do you want to stay alive anyways? Dying is not bad, like people have told you it is. If you can step out of your little shell, and realise that you are not the center of the universe, and that life is simply a beautiful ride, you can completely accept death as an inevitable part of life.

Next thing you must do to enjoy life is of critical importance. In fact, even though I know you are busy with your schedule, this takes priority. I want to you to be in the present. Always try to be in the present. Just because life has no meaning, does not mean you cannot find some yourself. Spend every moment and try to find the beauty in every moment. Feel the wonderful fabric of every minute. Embrace the joy that comes from simply being in the present. This will raise your quality of life tremendously. Stress and anxiety will largely disappear if you simply focus on the moment. Rather than worrying about that upcoming business meeting and destroying yourself simply with your anxious thoughts, just focus on where you are now. You will not forget everything, or miss an opportunity. In fact, you will perform much better than if a part of your mind is always focusing on the future or past. The habit of always thinking about something is extremely hard to break because your mind convinces you that something is wrong. However, you should really focus on the present. Are you in a good state at the moment? Yes, you are happily sitting in your chair. Perhaps you are slightly uncomfortable. There is nothing wrong with that. Do not escape the uncomfortable feeling. There is a beauty in that as well. There is a beauty in all things, and when you allow yourself to feel it, your normal concerns slowly get put into perspective.

Open your heart and be yourself. This is a sappy statement, but let me elaborate. You want happiness, despite how empty your heart may have become with anger at your oneitis who rejected you. You might not admit it, maybe deep down your low self esteem does not allow you to believe you should have happiness, but you have to realise that happiness should be your major concern. Really think to yourself, what would make me happy. Do not take that job Mom and Dad wanted you to. Think of a time in your childhood when you were unbelievably happy doing something. Find a job that would give you that feeling daily. As for your love life, forgo your bitterness, and open yourself up a little bit. You build all these defense mechanisms to protect your heart, yet in reality you are letting your ex cause you more pain than you could have imagined. Just let go. Do not be afraid to act how you would like to. You are a beautiful person. If you are going to be a bit defensive, at least admit it. Don't change your personality simply because you are not happy with your old one, and then refuse to admit it. Deep down, the fear that people would not like your old personality, your essence, will eat away at you. It happened to me. The easiest path is to be yourself. Be honest. COMPLETELY open yourself up. Nothing bad will happen. In fact it is liberating. If you are comfortable with every part of yourself, there is no way to hurt you. It takes much more strength to be yourself than to hide behind an alter ego....which, as I explained in the first part of the article, does not exist.

The third thing I want you to do is to realise what society's web is, and break out of it. You are stepping off the beaten path. You are building a path in a completely different dimension. The path society has laid out for you, you have to realise, crushes you with its pressure, yet is not at all the right one. Just because everyone does it, does not mean it is right. In fact, if you follow this new path I am offering you, you will realise how flawed your previous manner of perceiving things was. You have to realise that almost everything in society was, in a way, a lie. This is difficult to do.
 
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lchck

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Finally, I would suggest you meditate. Meditation, contrary to belief, is not something for pansies, or for wierd mystic people. It is simply the "science" of just being. Part of the web we have to break out of is that of our own thoughts. If you have not realised it yet, your mind is an incessant chatterbox that can bring you great anxiety at times. When you are stressed or depressed, your mind keeps feeding you with negative thoughts which cause you great discomfort and unhappiness. Yet you have to realise that it is all in your mind. ALL of it. Even if a relative just died, it can be accepted without all of this negative energy that your thoughts bring to you. Meditation can help you solve this. When you meditate, you sit and simply let your thoughts, good and bad, go by, without reacting to them. You simply let them flow by without listening to them or repressing them. Over time, you develop a great amount of mental discipline. You do not become independent of thoughts and emotions, since this si impossible, but rather you simply can experience them more fully and see them for what they are. Meditation is extremely valuable, and, while not necessary, is something I would suggest to everyone. For more information on meditation, there are many useful resources you can find.

To recap this last part:-Realise you're going to kick the bucket.
-Be in the present...always.
-Open yourself up completely.
-Realise the cage society is putting you in...always realise it.
-Meditate.

So that's the end of my little article. I hope some of you found something interesting in it, and I wish you good luck in many of life's travels.

Lone Chicken
 

don piccolo

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Interesting post lchck, I have tried meditating before , it can be a useful way of maintaining perspective...but i found that I would keep on falling asleep!!

the tyranny of thought is another good point - we spend all our time thinking about the past or the future and really make no attempt to control our thoughts - like a monkey jumping from branch to branch - doesn't this correlate to the budhist concept of 'mindfulness' - being aware of one's thoughts?

I often wonder to myself - would i have a happier life if i led the life of a budhist monk - instead of constantly chasing after things, girls or money?
 

Night Owl

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Good read and very interesting too - seems we are walking a similar path brother

Unplug from the Matrix before it's too late people... See the world how it really is... if you dare..
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Microfiltered

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Very interesting post.

Be in the present...always.
Do we/should we take time to reflect? And should we still have goals but not always think about them? Or should we scrap goals altogether? I came to the conclusion that life was meaningless and I'm going to die and it's not a big deal about 5 months ago (this was a big step for me since I was raised a Christian). However, this living in the moment thing is completely new to me. I'm a little confused.

Also, do you know of any other good places on the net where I can read more on this stuff?
 

Answers

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Good post Ichck! I disagree on a few things though. I don't believe in coincidences or luck and I do believe in life after death.
Microfiltered said:
Also, do you know of any other good places on the net where I can read more on this stuff?
Did you ever read 'The Secret' or other books about law of attraction? I'd recommend it for those who havn't read it. Google law of attraction or search for it in youtube.

About LOAhttp://www.sixthsense.org/swirl/05_html

Micheal Losierhttp://ie.youtube.com/watch?v=wavCFr9gzOE
Micheal Losierhttp://ie.youtube.com/watch?v=GoGCaLul8ms
 
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Good post!!!! Im gonna go out and rob a bank and rape some supermodels. It don't matter where all gonna die!!! There only a clump of atoms anyways! Lifes meanginless!!
 

MooseGod

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Really insightful post, man. The first part was a little pessimistic it seems, but I totally agree with the second. I see a lot of people trying so hard for material gains, be it a Ferarri, a supermodel wife, or a house in Beverly Hills...when in reality money doesn't matter after a certain point.

The main thing is to live life on your own terms. Don't buy into what is "socially acceptable"...that only means you'll work some 9 to 5 and die with a whimper. Now if you happen to LOVE your 9 to 5, then you've found happiness. A career that is meaningful to you is probably one of the biggest things that will ensure your happiness. And something I read off of one of those motivational posters seems pretty true as well: Marry the right person, this will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.

Too many guys on here seem to only care about the short-term, i.e., getting laid or being popular. Any idiot can get laid. Anyone with enough motivation can be monetarily successful, at least that's the myth we've been spoon-fed in America. But you'll grow bored with it after a while, and eventually look for a higher purpose in life. That is where the real struggle begins, my friends.
 

StevenR

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Perhaps reality is not, as we see it, a chronologically flowing entity. Perhaps reality is really experienced all at once, and not through the dimension of time.
I think time is subjective and our perception of it is dependent on the processing speed of our brains, they were evolved for optimal processing at the rate at which we have to interact with our environment.

Religion, as far as I see it, is something that people cling to because they cannot accept the reality that one day they will die. They cling to it extremely tightly simply because the possibility of simply living a meaningless life and then dying is too terrifying for them to do otherwise.
True, but I think it is possible that we may in fact be able to escape death, or at least put if off for a long time, through technological means.

Reality is meaningless. There is no higher purpose to it.
But it can have a higher purpose, both as individuals and as a species. If we spent our energy and resources toward this end, instead of devising better ways to kill each other, meaningful purpose could be achieved.

People want to be remembered when they die. Why is this? People are clinging to life, they are afraid of death. Wanting to be remembered after death is a last ditch effort to be part of life.
duh, of course people are afraid of death, it is logical to be afraid of non-existence. When people tell me they are not afraid of death I am like"well, why don't you go jump off the Golden Gate bridge then? c'mon, it will be fun, sorta like bungee jumping without the bungee cord. What are you afraid of, I mean, you will go to heaven anyway, and heaven is a much better place, so what are you afraid of? what are you waiting for?"

To be happy, you must accept that you are going to die. Not only accept it, but realise that this fact has no real importance. Who cares if you are going to die? Why do you want to stay alive anyways? Dying is not bad, like people have told you it is. If you can step out of your little shell, and realise that you are not the center of the universe, and that life is simply a beautiful ride, you can completely accept death as an inevitable part of life..

Me personally, I don't plan to go down without a fight, I am signed up for cryonics if a technological solution for aging doesn't happen in my lifetime. Of course I could walk outside today and be hit by a truck, but I make no apologies for wanting to live as long as possible. So does everyone else and if they don't they are in denial.





I think the OP would be interested in checking out some people like Ray Kurzweil and Aubrey DeGrey, and others-

http://youtube.com/watch?v=JlOFBqDVfhE

http://youtube.com/watch?v=XfTqXL0d9Ls

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfbOyw3CT6A

The next three Kurzweil expounds on these subjects in more detail and more tech talk stuff, but still interesting if you want to take the time to watch-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PWXrnsSrf0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSSYyFqpS3U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYIj3VxSdzI

And a bunch of other people on this subject-

http://www.singinst.org/media/interviews

I was going to PM him but I figure why not share it with everyone here.
 
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StevenR

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However, I agree with much of what the OP says, he made some very good points on the nature of the rat race and stopping to smell the roses so to speak, and I totally agree with this, just not on some areas like the part about accepting death and meaningless existence. I think in the extreme long run intelligent life can give meaning to its existence by radiating out and taming and giving meaning to the universe itself.
 

don piccolo

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StevenR said:
However, I agree with much of what the OP says, he made some very good points on the nature of the rat race and stopping to smell the roses so to speak, and I totally agree with this, just not on some areas like the part about accepting death and meaningless existence. I think in the extreme long run intelligent life can give meaning to its existence by radiating out and taming and giving meaning to the universe itself.

Hey Steven R just wanted to say cheers for giving us those links to Ray Kurzweil (which I just watched), its the first time i've been introduced to him, he's got some pretty crazy ideas...in a way he makes me wish i lived in the future just so i could see what we humans are going to invent - it sounds to me like we're on the threshold of a huge advance in civilisation...
 

StevenR

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in a way he makes me wish i lived in the future just so i could see what we humans are going to invent
you may be able to if some of these advances come through in the next 25 years, such as engineered negligible senescence.
 

Tookie

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This seems like some FIght Club ****.. good stuff though homes.
 
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