Finally met someone I really like

[Doctor Europeo]

Ghost her. Spin more plates.

 

[CBear]

This is a great thread for people to educate themselves on how a toxic relationship starts and progresses over time. OP you are just as toxic as her.

"A person doesn't change with time, they get worse with time".

 

[Jor-El]

Two sound sayings for all and any situation
1) People will only treat you badly if YOU let them
2) Put up with it-get more of it

 

[dude99]

I can provide an Update for anyone interested and I'm ready for a lot of told you so's.

I moved into her house in November 21. Even after a week we were already arguing over stuff I can't honestly remember at this point. Christmas was on the horizon and she was getting stressed. One thing I've noticed over the last 9 months or so is that when she gets stressed her stresses are absorbed by me and I become irate and can often feel how she is feeling. Christmas came and went just like it should, I took her on a nice city break a week before and we had a nice time. We had our first holiday (vacation for you) in March which went really well except for one night when he had quite a big argument. What my gf does in arguments is she jumps to the extreme which is usually "I want you gone" and it sends my anxiety into overdrive as like an idiot, I don't have another home to fall back on. The months went on, some good some bad but regular arguments were a thing and was happening maybe once a week, sometimes twice. The cost of living in the UK is currently high and I'd say I am living from paycheck to paycheck. I've managed to clear quite a bit of debt and reduced my monthly outgoings so now I can afford to get a place of my own.

The latest instalment came just yesterday when she stated I don't do enough around the house which she is right, I don't and I tend to clean up after myself and nobody else. She also said I don't take her anywhere anymore for nice meals and days out. She has a point there too, when we do go out we often go to watch football matches and do gym sessions. (Something we've done together from the beginning) I told her I have every intention of taking you out and taking us away places, I've just been paying debt and getting myself into a better financial position. She said life is too short and she wants to do things now, not in 12 months. I do agree and said I want to do things too. She said it's just words and that I have no intention of doing something with her, she's now at the point where she needs to move on and she wants me to leave. Now usually, in a day or two she will be saying how much she loves me, how much I mean to her and that she wants to be my wife. (That's another thing causing an issue, she wants to marry me but I will not entertain that conversation or the one about children). This time I feel there's no way back and its time for me to get out and get my own place. I'm stressed, unhappy and I'm becoming aggressive towards her, not physically but I'm shouting in her face which is not good and it's someone I'm not. She often tends to only remember those things from the argument despite what she does in the first place to goad me. She has a way of telling other people that I'm an aggressive psychopath which couldn't be further from the truth. I was the most calmest person when I met her and now she brings out a side in me that I hate. I'm not blaming her as I'm responsible for my own actions. I just don't understand who she is and what the hell is going on in her head.

4 weeks into you meeting here she was dishing out B^lls#it and you stayed around for more than a year? You moved in with her when red flags were everywhere?

She is an inflexable taker. She wants hers and doesn't care how you want to better yourself by clearing up debt, she is selfish and self centered and expects you to keep her entertained no matter how much debt you rack up.
She is also raking you across the emotional coals for her own entertainment. Picking fights with you is fun for her.The idea of marrying or having kids with a woman who is slowly eating away at your soul is out of the question. If you don't leave you will be fighting with her for years to come. Does this sound like fun?

Ditch the b!tch. You don't need this level of toxicness in your life especially when you are trying your best to right your ship.

Remember not everyone you allow into your boat will bring an oar and help you row. Some people drill holes to sink your ship just to watch you suffer.