"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Finally met a great girl, will over communicating kill it?

tomwesten27

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Between Tinder, POF, and general bar meetings. I have met some awful women. Some good lays, but nothing close to LTR material. Which is expected with online dating.

I recently met a young lady at a friends event and we hit it off. Kissed already, kino through the roof etc. Had the 1st date a few days later at a (low key ice cream shop) Cost me $4 total. and we had fun.

My problem is when I get to this point where I know a girl is into me, I tend to start over texting, over calling, over communicating. The old beta in me feels as if I don't communicate with her she will forget about me. It is silly I know but I am trying to shake it once and for all...

So how often should I be communicating with this girl? We seem to text every day...every few hours or so we shoot one another a text back and forth, keeping it light and fun. Talking about simple things. Its built great rapport so far I feel.

Should I not text a day or 2 sometimes? Will it work to my advantage to go ghost a day sometimes? Does it get her thinking?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Sensible

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Communication devices are only for setting appointments. If you keep doing that you will turn her off. You can talk to her on text when it's been some time in the relationship like 3 months and you are official. But right now what you should be doing is not to exchange many text messages and use telephone to set up the next date. You already know that what you are doing is wrong, so listen to yourself and stop doing it.
 

Maximus Rex

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State Your Rationale

tomwesten27 said:
So how often should I be communicating with this girl?
How often do YOU feel you should be communicating with her? State your reasons as to why and why your plan of action will help you achieve your long term goal/s.

tomwesten27 said:
Should I not text a day or 2 sometimes? Will it work to my advantage to go ghost a day sometimes? Does it get her thinking?
How will doing to does things work to your advantage?
 

tomwesten27

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Today I decided to not hit her up first. I remember reading so many times after I start up a convo two times I feel I should wait and see if she reaches out to me no?

It is good to go ghost sometimes and see if she texts/calls me first?
 

wonderer

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Im in a similar situation and dont now how to play it. I know I shouldnt text everyday but its difficult. I NEVER initiate, its always her. Ill keep my responses random, sometimes a couple of hours, sometimes several, sometimes after a few minutes.

Havent gone longer than a day without some form of communication after i've seen this chick for about a month though. Would be useful to get some more insight!
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

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