"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Finally got some action with my first girl (forever alone virgin)

SeymourCake

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Well im a foreveralone virgin and i finally decided today to get out of my comfort zone so i signed up for a salsa dance class. Wow i was nervous as fuk already but when i entered the building and saw that the chicks there were smoking hot i could barely speak and i was shaking hard. All the chicks were atleast 7/10's wearing yoga pants or tight skirts with perfect dance bodies. Also the guys were all super confident and chatting with the girls. I come in there and nobody is paying attention to me, the teacher was like "alright class today we learn salsa, everybody partner up, its ok if ur new we will make u a true dancer!" At this point i wanted to run away, it wouldve been very easy to leave but i needed to man up.

I saw this one chick didnt have a partner and i slowly made my way to her, she saw me coming over and this made me super nervous, i could barely walk straight and i said "himagetedone" dear God i could barely talk and she asked me if i was having a stroke. I was like oh ur a funny one but im serious here to learn salsa please partner with me! She looked around and saw that only we 2 were without partners, she rolled her eyes and said "ok whatever sure". So the teacher was like "ok guys, grab ur partner by the hips!" I started to shake violently and i was moving my arms towards her in slow motion, she kind of backed up a little and saw that i was very nervous, i joked and said "im not a rapist calm down hehe" The look on her face was of disgust.

I grabbed her hips and u see i had never felt a woman's body before and at this point it felt like i was in another dimension, i got intense tunnel vision and all i could see was this girl, everything around me became white and there was a ringing in my ears. I began to imagine our future together, i also imagined putting my penis in her vagina, wow she was so soft and warm it was incredible. I dont know wut overcame me but i started to moan really loud, i saw my forefathers and i began to speak in tongues, i was staring at this girls cameltoe as i grasped her hips and my knees gave out as an intense orgasm overtook me. I fell to the ground and convulsed while my semen began to leak through my pants. Suddently i was snapped back to reality and the girl was screaming that i sexually attacked her and white knights surrounded me and grabbed me then threw me out of the building.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Mike32ct

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Haha. Good trolling. Had me good for a couple paragraphs lol.

But there is a shred of realism there. While signing up for dance class is great, it can be scary as F for shy/inexperienced guys. One dance teacher I had said that the physical contact actually creeps out the (shy/inexperienced) GUYS more than the girls. Your hands aren't usually on her hips, but in many dances, you have one hand on her shoulder blade (which is code word for bra strap lol). It gets interesting when you turn her from that position lol.
 

devilkingx2

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10/10, we should feel honored to have been graced with one of 4chan's finest.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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VladPatton

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Pics or it didn't happen lol
 

adam225

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Did you eat her ass ?
 

GS750

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Great story. My morale is lifted
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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zekko

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Lol. Well, there's our post of the year.
 

jafyk

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Lmao! This has to be one of the funniest stories I've read on Sosuave. OP please confirm that this is a joke and never really happened. If this did happen and I was that guy. If I know I couldn't play it cool and control myself. I think I'd just be honest and told her this is the closest I've been to a woman and that I'm nervous.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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SeymourCake

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Dust 2 Dust

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Funny story, but in all seriousness salsa dancing is played out. Go to a salsa dance and don't be surprised to see 20 dudes trying to dance with 5-6 women and the women there know exactly what you're up to. It's like a glorified version of a sausagefest bar.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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