Finally broke my one-itis

Tagz

Don Juan
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I had this oneitis on this girl for about 5 months and I finally broke it off tonight. What's funny is, I don't have an exact reason to. If you look at myself and my life I don't really have a reason to having oneitis on this girl and she isn't even pretty. She's 23, short, not fat but not skinny either but her feminine features are not that obvious, she has a nice head on her shoulders, maybe too good for her own good and she is currently a highschool math teacher.

I just turned 21, I lost 100lbs, I now run my own businesses, I have a car, I train in combat sports, I regularly lift, I play musical instruments, achieved stuff I wanted to achieve in my life thus far(I'm not bragging, this is for analytical purposes haha) and as far as my game goes I always try to have fun by teasing every girl I meet but at the same time be a gentleman where it counts. BUT the thought that she was supposedly going to be my first girlfriend, that thought became the most dangerous thing for my experience in this situation. For 5 effing months I was completely at her feet. Complete AFC. I had lost my balls and I wasn't even getting any in exchange. After our little conversation earlier about her turning me down because she wasn't sure I was mature enough, there was no spark and all that crap. We parted ways and shortly after had this text conversation. So it went like this:

Girl: Sorry, but I do appreciate your effort.
Me: It's ok. :) Good night.
Girl: What do you mean by "It's ok?"
Me: I mean, it's ok you turned me down.
Girl: So what's your plan?
Me: I think it would be better for the both of us to go back as being friends.
Girl: Sure. (by this time I had found out I meant nothing to this girl)
Me: Ok. That's good.
Girl: Ok. You should teach me how to play drums now.
Me: No. I'm practicing. I'm using it.
Girl: Ok. You're mean.
Me: You're so hard to teach. I had a hard time the last time.
Girl: Ok. Have fun with your drums
Me: Sure. I will. You can use it I guess when I'm not around. You should get some one qualified to teach.
Girl: Ok. I'll find some one who will put up with teaching me.
Me: Haha. Good luck.
Girl: Thanks, I guess.
Me: I can refer you to a drum teacher. I'll give you his contact later.
Girl: You don't have to. I'll just get some one who'll teach me the basics.
Me: Ok. Good luck with that. Show me what you learn when you're done.
Girl: Thanks, really. I don't know if you're insulting me or not. It only shows I made the right decision. :)
Me: Haha! That's just how I am with my friends. I think so too. There wasn't really anything going on with us. There wasn't really a jive.
Girl: Really. Ok. You win. Have fun.
Me: I will :) Thanks. Good night.

I honestly don't know what to make of that conversation but I'm glad it happened. I feel so much lighter now. I just wanted to share this with you guys since I've been a long time lurker here. I post here and there but I hope this counts for a contribution.

Going oneitis is dangerous, guys. ALWAYS have plates and spin'em. For the young guys, don't go ape-**** on being serious now. We're still young, there's still so much to happen in our lives. So much to live for, so much to accomplish.
 

LongLostFriend

Don Juan
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Why be friends with her?

Glad you broke free of her. I would have cut the conversation much shorter.
 

Tagz

Don Juan
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LongLostFriend said:
Why be friends with her?

Glad you broke free of her. I would have cut the conversation much shorter.
There's still that nice guy in me and I'm friends with her much prettier older sister but rest assured. I don't want anything to do with her after tonight.

Yeah, I tend to drag on conversations but thanks, man. I'll keep that in mind. :box:
 

TheCWord

Master Don Juan
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Tagz,

Something I've learned about myself. Every time I say "there's that nice guy in me..." that makes me do something, it is almost never me actually being a nice guy. It's usually me trying to cover up a self-serving ego thing... I.e. I say I'm staying friends with a girl because I'm a nice guy, but really it's because I'm hoping if I keep her around then one day she'll have some sort of epiphany about us.

All of a sudden, I don't sound like such a nice guy.
 

Tagz

Don Juan
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TheCWord said:
Tagz,

Something I've learned about myself. Every time I say "there's that nice guy in me..." that makes me do something, it is almost never me actually being a nice guy. It's usually me trying to cover up a self-serving ego thing... I.e. I say I'm staying friends with a girl because I'm a nice guy, but really it's because I'm hoping if I keep her around then one day she'll have some sort of epiphany about us.

All of a sudden, I don't sound like such a nice guy.

Not really, it's more devious than that. I'm not keeping her around really close but just close enough(facebook but I hid all posts and updates coming from her) so she can see who exactly she turned down. I want to show completely that it is her loss. It contributes to the factors that drive me to improve myself, my life and pushes me to get some one a heck of a lot better. I know it's wrong but if it helps me become a better person I'll do it. :D

Believe me, I don't plan on having anything special again with this girl because as far as getting a girl, my friends say it's so easy for me to get one given my status and I'm not bad looking either(I look decent, I think haha), but it was during those times I didn't believe them and I still didn't know enough how a female mind works or simply I didn't have the balls back then. Plus, the things she would bring to my plate wouldn't be that much. When she isn't teaching she just stays at their house doing house stuff, watching tv, facebook-ing, uploading pictures all the mundane things. Not exciting at all and all the pleasures, sensations I wanted to get from her can be given by any girl. What makes her so special? Only realized that tonight.
 

TheCWord

Master Don Juan
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Tagz said:
Not really, it's more devious than that. I'm not keeping her around really close but just close enough(facebook but I hid all posts and updates coming from her) so she can see who exactly she turned down. I want to show completely that it is her loss. It contributes to the factors that drive me to improve myself, my life and pushes me to get some one a heck of a lot better. I know it's wrong but if it helps me become a better person I'll do it. :D
About that whole you being a nice guy thing...
 
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