Fights

[R19]

The more ripped I get, the shorter the fuse I have. I don't go looking for trouble at all, but when I am suddenly on the receiving end of some type of aggression (almost always completely unwarranted) I am quick to go to guns. I usually diffuse the situation right away by this as the other party is often shocked by my response and backs off...

So enough of that... my question is how you would react to the following situation? I was out at a trendy bar Friday night that became wall to wall packed. That often brings trouble as people don't have enough space and the bartenders are overrun. I was with a few people and had been chatting up and dancing a bit with an attractive girl I just met there off and on. I saw her talking with another guy and when I approached them, she introduced him to me (I think she showed up there by herself given she was there much earlier like us). No sooner could I say hi to him than he insults me. I immediately countered by telling him that I would level him right there right now - and I was ready to...

Needless to say she was unimpressed and taken aback. She then said that he was her friend, but I didn't buy that. I did apologize to him, but in my view any guy that leads off their greeting to another with point blank insults is asking for it.

What would you have done? In retrospect, I would have chopped him up with words.


Thanks

 

[Tiguere]

What did he say?

 

[R19]

What was specifically said is not important, but he insulted my appearance. To me, that is a jack move...

 

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

You had no investment in those people...they didnt matter.

So exchanging some words should of been the most you did.

It would be different if you were with your friends or girlfriend, then I feel you have a responsibility to defend your image. Its about respecting yourself.

Fighting is never a black and white thing...

 

[ENIGMA16]

You played right into his hands. In a situation like that he is attempting to show the girl that he is of higher value than you by probably playfully teasing you (or at least doing it in a manner that the girl isn't put off by it). The fact that you showed that you let it affect you - and threatening to fight is probably the most affected you can portray - showed her that you're insecure enough about yourself that you let what a complete stranger says get to you. That is the absolute worst thing you could've done.

What you should've done is brushed it off and turned it around on him in a manner that seems playful or like you don't care but still gets the point across to both of them that you're not gonna let him put you down like that, because you're the top dog and anything this lesser person says to you has no bearing on that and doesn't even enter into your brain as a threat.

So next time try turning it around on him or if that doesn't work then just completely ignore what he said and act as if he never said it. You are the top dog and this chump is trying to take you down because he's jealous. Never forget that.

EDIT: Hell, next time that happens just pretend the dude is some loser like Steve Urkel. Do you think you would've reacted the same way if the dude that said it was him? I bet you would've laughed it off in that case.

 

[R19]

So next time try turning it around on him

IMO, shattering his face would have been a great way to turn it around on him...

Interesting comments - thanks! I had very little invested in the situation. I'm fine with what happened because if I do end up getting somewhere with that girl, she will see that side of me anyway. I simply don't back down and counter aggressively and I will call people on their BS in public in front of everyone.

FWIW, I had a stretch at my gym where I would run into 1 or 2 potential fights a week, but I have toned it down. In each of these situations someone either did something totally annoying or was trying to push me around. Here's an example from last week though. Early in morning - a really overweight guy walks on to the main gym floor from the shower or sauna dripping wet, with nothing but shorts on. It was ridiculous. No one said anything. He walked over to one of the drinking fountains then back to the sauna/locker room area. I yelled a couple things out from across the gym, but I held back from starting something. Next time? I will run him over...

Guess I have a couple friends (male and female) that have a similar attitude and that has been a big part of all this. It's just so frustrating - the bars/clubs, the gym - so many knuckleheads that think they're the sh1t.

Yeah, Jim Rome has got it all figured out. He is such an expert. I had a blast that night - no fights. All the things he mentioned are minor vs. a direct insult. I guess my whole crew is 'Ready to Fight Guys'...

 

[Real Talk]

OP you need to listen to this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrerho9Nx9A

check yo self

 

[HalfAddict]

Wow you're an idiot...

If you can really fight, you will be humble or you will regret it, your actions reflect that of a toddler. And she doesn't wanna be a single mom.

You don't know what people know nowadays with the rise of MMA, people with guns or knives.. you don't know who you're ****ing with literally...

You are going to end up seriously injured. And I'm the guy who's gonna have to peel billy badass off of your soon to be corpse in the bar...and I don't want that, because I don't want to fight.

Yeah yeah you go to the gym, you're so tough now.. until some guy fractures your eye socket or rips your balls off.

Also way to be a confrontational prick at your gym..

NEWSFLASH:
"It's just so frustrating - the bars/clubs, the gym - so many knuckleheads that think they're the sh1t."

You're acting like one of those knuckleheads.

One other thing, every fight I've ever been in I've had one goal.. it was not to punk my opponent.

It was to try to kill or seriously maim him before he could do it to me. Fighting isn't fun or cool, it's stupid and dangerous.

You had best check your temper before you wind up in a body bag.

 

[R19]

Nice tag line and call sign HalfAddict. They both tell me a lot...I can't wait!!! some day I will be out and about and you can come save me!!!

I love it!!!! That is why our country is so fvcked. A nation of some 'like to fights' with a hell of a lot more 'ready to fights' replaced by a bunch of texting, myspace, facebook, twittering jack asses that like to take it in the a$$. Yep, if you really know how to fight, then you must be humble!!!! There is a difference between what I do - countering aggression with a lot more right back with no fear to consistently avoid fights and someone who lives life starting fights by acting out of aggression in the first place.

- They embrace piss poor gym etiquette and ridiculous behavior and think 'oh well, they are members too!!!!'.
- They walk away when they and everyone else is getting crappy service/products which they are paying hard earned money for 'This must be how life is!!!!'.
- They smile at all the losers on the road that don't know how to drive and make any drive last a lot longer than it has to.
- They make cute comments when someone faces them on a night out.
- They love and defend jacka$$es of all sorts and their actions in the interest of promoting further similar actions and progression of this behavior by said jacka$$es.
- They generally take it up the a$$ whenever they can out of fear because that guy is an expert in Krav Maga or has a 9mm in their belt.


Instead of going off on some tangent, it would be good to hear more responses to the original situation.

 

[HalfAddict]

Right, yes not fighting is totally *****made broski, you should have totally broke your foot off in his ass dawg.

And dude if that hor mixes your shake wrong you should totally chew her out and probably punch her.

Oh an dawg that dude at the gym who totally did nothing to you, you should have totally rolled his lardass, **** would have been so cash dawg.

Dude sweet TapouT shirt, and way cool blowout haircut.

Yeah you should have just shrugged some ****in guido's stupid comment off and continued your conversation with the lady, instead you chose to have a bigger **** contest.

You should be worried if someone's going to be carrying a weapon or has the ability to royally **** your world up, I'm not going off on a tangent, I'm telling you something you need to hear. And that chick you were trying to talk to doesn't want some dudes blood all over her shirt because he's insecure about his appearance.

Depending on the actual situation you could have done numerous things.

1. laugh
2. Just get between him and the girl and take over the conversation.
3. ignore.
4. Witty "funny/joking" retort.

That's just a few possibilities besides: Get butthurt and act like a jackass.

And hey, if you're in the Chicago area and come to the right Polish bar, I may be pulling some crazy polack off of you. Never know.

 

[Real Talk]

I love it!!!! That is why our country is so fvcked. A nation of some 'like to fights' with a hell of a lot more 'ready to fights' replaced by a bunch of texting, myspace, facebook, twittering jack asses that like to take it in the a$$. Yep, if you really know how to fight, then you must be humble!!!! There is a difference between what I do - countering aggression with a lot more right back with no fear to consistently avoid fights and someone who lives life starting fights by acting out of aggression in the first place.

- They embrace piss poor gym etiquette and ridiculous behavior and think 'oh well, they are members too!!!!'.
- They walk away when they and everyone else is getting crappy service/products which they are paying hard earned money for 'This must be how life is!!!!'.
- They smile at all the losers on the road that don't know how to drive and make any drive last a lot longer than it has to.
- They make cute comments when someone faces them on a night out.
- They love and defend jacka$$es of all sorts and their actions in the interest of promoting further similar actions and progression of this behavior by said jacka$$es.
- They generally take it up the a$$ whenever they can out of fear because that guy is an expert in Krav Maga or has a 9mm in their belt.


Instead of going off on some tangent, it would be good to hear more responses to the original situation.

If your vibe is right and you carry yourself the right way (i.e. not like a douche with a silverback gorilla complex) people shouldn't be disrespecting you enough for you to want to fight multiple times a week. Maybe you should take a look in the mirror.

And by the way, I'm perfectly comfortable with my physical prowess. But keep flexing those e-muscles, fam.

 

[R19]

Whatev, I'm out.

Oh an dawg that dude at the gym who totally did nothing to you, you should have totally rolled his lardass, **** would have been so cash dawg.

Dude sweet TapouT shirt, and way cool blowout haircut.

He did do something. He insulted everyone in the gym by violating the dress code, presenting a health risk with his fat a$$ dripping wet all over, and walking away knowing no one checked him on it. Must have been a bunch of you there with me that morning.

And I don't wear fvcking Tapout or any MMA bullsh1t. All those pikers I see wearing martial arts sh1t are probably the ones you really think I am...

The altercations in the gym. Someone does something arrogant and stupid in general like putting bloody 35 lb dumbells on the rack where the 80-120's go because they are weak, stupid, and lazy (majority of situations) and I call them on it or in one or two cases says something aggressive towards me like 'I made eye contact with you (while I had my iPod on blast minding my own business) and you wouldn't let me rotate in...

AND THEN I PUT THEM IN THEIR PLACE.

 

[R19]

...

 

[Captain]

Dial down the aggression. It's not impressive to women (or men, for that matter.)

 

[CaptainJ]

You lost because you were emotionally invested in the encounter. The best thing you could have done was to not care what he said eg. A simple sarcastic one word response, or even a laugh would have made his insult fall flat, whilst you divert your attention back to the girl. You would show that he wasn't worth your time and that you were in social control, which is more impressive than revealing your insecurity by having a violent emotional response to his insult.

 

[morepoonplease]

lol, get a criminal record over an insult? no thanks... theres a reason i never leveled the guy who slept with my ex... he would have called the cops... hes a coward like that... i called him out and he said why are u so pissed off she told me you two weren't seeing eachother anymore... i said he's right, the ***** must have talked him into it plus if i do this guy in i'm looking at court time and probably some jail time with my history... You can tell who the guys r who have never been in trouble before, they think they can just level someone then take the girl home with them, not so true in most cases.

 

[HolyG]

R19, why did you make this thread if you aren't going to accept, or listen to differing opinions?

 

[Amazing]

R19, you are a gaint tool.

Come in me bro.

 

[Furyguy]

First off, I don't think you had anything to apologize for. If the dude is gonna act like a b!tch he's gonna get treated like a b!tch. Don't act like a p*ssy in an attempt to win some random ***** in the bar's favor.

Secondly a chick that is rolling around with scumbags like that probably isn't worth your time anyways. I know a lot of those girls, and they are all f*cking useless.

You should have treated them all like the immature children they are. Laugh, shake your head, and walk away. That whole group is worthless if they are going to endorse that kind of behavior. Go hang out with some high school freshmen and see how much fun it is - same type of sh!t.

Honestly, there is a time when getting disrespected matters and a time when it just doesn't. Are you going to get pissed if a bum on the street tells you you're a stupid moron who will never amount to anything? A lot of people in the world.

Lastly, in the eyes of the law there are major differences between the terms "ASSAULT," "SELF-DEFENSE," and "FIGHTING." The fact that someone else swings first doesn't mean ****. The law will seriously f*ck your life up worse than any random douche in a bar could, especially if that random douche has a good lawyer.

Keep doing your thing if that's what you're about. I know there is something nice about acquiring that newfound power and wanting to use it. Just think about what really matters to you in the long run, I know you could come up with some better solutions.

 

[zekko]

Since you won't post what he said to you, it's impossible to judge what the proper response would have been.

You don't say how old you are, but I remember when I was in my twenties and lifting weights a lot. That combination can result in a lot of testosterone. I'm not a violent person, but I definitely became more aggressive and got into some scrapes. Nothing serious, fortunately. You should try to be aware of this effect and get yourself under control before you get into trouble.

It's good that you've toned it down but it sounds like you still fly off the handle too much. A man should not be controlled by his emotions, he can't afford to be. Women are controlled by emotions, not men. Women want men who can control their emotions, who can be theiir rock. You should get this taken care of.