Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Fighting the big bad Afc monster!

OamImrsNemo

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So basically I am writing this right now because I am feeling the afc swelling inside me right now!

Last couple weeks Ive have been my LTR's plan B guy a couple times. Ex. her plans with friends didnt work out then she contacted me and I jumped to go hang out with her... Also been noticing loss of affection and ive been pushing harder and harder for s3x(not in an afc way but have to work harder to get some) I am interested in her but I think I need to step up my game. So I've been working alot of Sir chancealots s3xual techniques. I have been making plans and hanging out with her less (where I was hanging out with her 5 6 days a week) So here is my progress.

Last night she called and said hi I asked what she was up to for the night. Hangin with blah what about you? O I am hiking with blah and blah. O cool have fun...She called me later(prlly cause plans didnt work out.) but I didn't answer because I was busy..

Called her today told her how much fun I had. Well she called me like 10 mins ago I said I had plans (originally I did but my friends flaked out) she was like man how long will you be out? I was like oo I dont know...Then she said well dang I made you desert...well if you get done you should come over.....


So basically right now Inside I am dying to just run over there But I know I should hold tough even though I dont have any plans for the night I should still pretend to be busy Right?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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L B

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If it's a long term relationship, you might want to actually talk to her about her priorities. Either you be proactive and take control of the relationship or she will. Long term relationships are actually harder than short terms because maintaining it requires more creativity and work. Good luck. I'm on year #4 and working it everything doing the maintenance stuff.
 

OamImrsNemo

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Explain more on the relationship part and being creative and setting the way that would be awesome give me tips on how you've kept it going for 4 years and stay interestesld and kept it interesting
 

zekko

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Seriously, if your LTR involves having to resort to this kind of game playing, it's not a very good relationship.
 

Kailex

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Please, please, please tell me it's not this chick:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=172523

This is an LTR... why are you guys playing these games when it's been months? You two definitely need to sit down and talk about your priorities and if she is constantly picking other things over you but expects you to make HER a top priority, then this relationship is all sorts of messed up.

And that's without even taking into account that thread from the past.
Because if that's the same person, you should have ejected a long time ago.

Stop acting like a child and playing her games.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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L B

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OamImrsNemo said:
Explain more on the relationship part and being creative and setting the way that would be awesome give me tips on how you've kept it going for 4 years and stay interestesld and kept it interesting
To many things to discuss.
First and foremost: don't go into a long term relationship just because she is the only one available or the first one to show you interest. My girl knew that when we were not serious that I also dated other girls. When I was ready for a long term relationship, I decided on her and dropped all others. I let her know what my expectations were and vice versa. Don't ever go into a relationship blindly. Like others have said, you don't play games at this stage. Don't ever let your guard down though, every time you meet her, treat it as a mini-date. Don't waste time on being jealous, give her her "me" time. You also need yours too. Insecure guys will not let their girls go out with her friends thinking that their girls would cheat. If you didn't trust her, then why is she your girlfriend in the first place. If you want to hang out with her, call her up and do it. All relationships have ups and downs from time to time. If you don't like where your relationship is going, you should see if it's worth the trouble to keep at it. If it is, then talk to her about what's troubling you in the relationship. There's nothing afc about it, just the way you approach it. now I am just rambling...too many things to discuss. Why don't you look up the archives on this topic.
 

OamImrsNemo

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Please, please, please tell me it's not this chick:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=172523

This is an LTR... why are you guys playing these games when it's been months? You two definitely need to sit down and talk about your priorities and if she is constantly picking other things over you but expects you to make HER a top priority, then this relationship is all sorts of messed up.

And that's without even taking into account that thread from the past.
Because if that's the same person, you should have ejected a long time ago.

Stop acting like a child and playing her games.
D<>nm your good Kailex I barely remember posting that haha! But to that no she shaped her sh!t out and started acting like she should. So I figured I should keep pursuing it. I felt like all these games are normal (I am dj in training though) but they are not is what I am seeing in these replies? Why would she be playing these games with me am I not playing her how I should or whats wrong with my game right now? Because its definantly not for my money?

Thanks
 
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