Field Reports from a 27yo Virgin

[losDJ]

Ok, I didn't want to write that subject heading, but I figured that if I really plan to go from dud to stud, I need your help and I better be honest with you guys. I am 6' and 145lbs, but I am now at the gym 4 days a week and eating like crazy. I am a grad student, so I'm not a complete idiot, but sometimes I really overthink things at the expense of action. I have been an idealist my whole life, so when the opportunities came to bang a chick, I always passed since they were below my "standards." I probably could have created opportunities but I have acted the part of a quintessential AFC for my entire life. My last LTR lasted for almost four years w/ a devout christian girl that wanted to wait until marriage, and just like the AFC I am, I complied. It's time for a change, so I will be posting field reports on my approaches this summer along with chickenlegs03 and blackdragon. In the short time that I have discovered this forum, I have already seen amazing improvements, but I have a long long way to go. The V-card needs to go before the summer is out: the sooner, the better. Alright, let's get this started.

Last Week

Went next door to an end of the year college party. Didn't know a single person at this party, and was too AFC to walk up to any cuties, so I made small talk w/ some of the guys in hopes of establishing social proof. After wandering around w/out building rapport w/ anyone, I was about to head home, but on my way out, I ran into one of the guys I spoke w/ earlier. He was talking with a few drunk chicks. I used my familiarity w/ the guy to introduce myself to the girls, and found myself in a convo w/ an average looking chick. As I wasn't attracted to this girl, I felt confident enough to throw in some kino just for practice (I suck at kino, but as everyone on this forum swears by it, I figure I should get comfortable using it). She reciprocates, so I keep up the convo and add more kino. Her response amazes me: she starts leaning her whole body against mine so that my leg is between her thighs and her tits are rubbing against my arm, and she just keeps talking to me like nothing is out of place:yes: . I begin to wonder if this chick is even more desperate than me, when her friends finally come and tell her they're leaving. Feeling a bit more confident, I decide to hang out for a bit longer and start a convo with a hb7. This one's is attractive and not drunk, so I am more reserved w/ kino but it still has an effect. She has plenty of time to disengage the convo and leave, but she keeps talking to me. I probably kept the convo going for way too long, but I finally asked for her number (the right way:"we should hang out again; what's your number?"), and she asked me for a pen:yes: . All in all, I had some great results, but how do you get those balls of steel to just walk right up to the hb9's and start a convo? Since I don't have those just yet, was it a decent strategy to build rapport w/ the guys at the party?


Last night

Ok, at another smaller college party but w/ some great quality women. Although I felt much more confident than the previous party (this time I knew the host and a couple of girls), the kino proved much less effective. I approached and talked with at least four different women during the course of the evening. I applied kino (possibly with a little less confidence as all were at least hb7's and 8's) and even got some mild reciprocation but didn't get the great results I had seen at the last party. At the end of the night, I got into a long convo with a girl about her a****** boyfriend (I wasn't sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing), but as I was sobering up, she didn't seem quite so attractive to me anyway. Nonetheless, she asks for my email and offers me hers as I am stepping out the door. I accepted the exchange but don't plan to contact her. Question: why didn't the kino have these women showing high IL, as it did at the last party? One observation I should point out is that excepting the last girl who offered her email, all the other women at the party were foreigners (Brazil, Japan, etc.). Does kino only work effectively on American and Western European chicks?

6 approaches

 

[blinkwatt]

People from everywhere but America tend to be much more physical,well thats what I have noticed. You could have received different vibes because they are different girls. Remember every girl is different,not all this stuff will work the same on every girl. What we teach here is a guideline for you to "fine tune" your own,different,unique ways with the ladies.

 

[CompleteControl]

All in all, I had some great results, but how do you get those balls of steel to just walk right up to the hb9's and start a convo? Since I don't have those just yet, was it a decent strategy to build rapport w/ the guys at the party?

It is a perfectly fine strategy. It sounds a lot like Juggler Method and my personal method.

You get "balls of steel" by working on inner game and forcing yourself to approach. Most guys will always have some level of approach anxiety. Mystery has a 3 second rule: approach within 3 seconds so you don't have time to be afraid to approach - although I prefer to take the time to observe something about them that I can use in my approach.

As for why the kino worked better with some women than others - it may have been timing. Juggler would say you should escalate kino on a high point and Mystery would say you didn't work through the attraction and comfort phases first.

Keep up the good work.:rockon:

 

[Docs]

but how do you get those balls of steel to just walk right up to the hb9's and start a convo?

A HB 5 is no different from a HB 7 which is no different from HB 9.

Simple?

 

[SamePendo]

This should help.

Welcome to the forum! I look forward to seeing more Field Reports. Anyways, in the above link, you will find a recent party experience I had, as I said in the post, I dont like that type of stuff, at all. My thing? The gym! You said you are going to the gym, check out that thread of mine, it will help you out a lot, and dont just look at the top post, I posted a revised version of a earlier post further on on that same thread.

So, in the first link I hope I answer your question on how whether it was ok to approach the guys, etc. How do you ask out the 9's? You just do, in the gym, for example, you can just ask something silly like if they are using some machine or something, and just do what the bible says. Just grab your balls and do it. On foreign chicks, and not responding as well as the day before, sometimes things dont have an explanation, it just is.

Keep up the great work!

 

[aftershock]

Well its good to be honest. I'm impressed at your honesty and attitude.

I think that you're a good way there already. You seem to have your sh!t together.

Keep up the sarging.

 

[Blackdragon5095]

Good more field reports. ( looks like my jounral, bounce and shyryder are having a effect ) Anyway, What are your goals. I'll help you out as LONG AS YOU ARE IN THE FIELD. I don't help KJ's.

Nothing wrong being a virgin man. I'm a virgin too.

 

[OfficeSpace]

Hey losDJ,

It was great to see you have actually stepped up and approached. You have done WAY more than a lot of guys who post on this site! You will find that while kino is very effective, it differs with different women. The woman you were first successful with, well... she was drunk... lol

My experience is that American women respond much better to kino than asian women (Korean girls) for some reason...

Keep up the great work bro! Hope to hear from you more on these forums!

 

[losDJ]

Latest Field Report

Hey fellas, thanks for the encouragement and feedback. It's good to know that I'm on the right track. Although I still require major improvements in all areas, I think my more recent results confirm tangible progress.

SamePendo

I would like to try the gym, but I seem to get the impression that it's off limits. Still, I see your point, and will try to develop my game here.


First, the bad news.

Alright, I must have some major psychological block preventing me from approaching really attractive women on the street. Over the last couple of days, I spent a couple hours at lunch, wandering around the campus to try some approaches. I go out w/ the intention of talking to some women, and while opportunities abound, I just can't bring my legs to walk me over to the hottie to say hello. I can talk to random guys, old people, unattractive women, and have enjoyable conversations, but something happens to me in the presence of an unfamiliar hb. As I can see this is a problem for me, I must take action, and I WILL approach this week, if I have to go through a nervous breakdown in the process. I over rationalize every other aspect of my life, why can't I rationalize this one?

Now, the good news.

In contrast to approaching people on the street, I feel pretty good about approaching people when I already have some connection established (eg., parties). So today I talked to an hb6-7 downstairs on my way to the restroom (we had a class together a couple of years ago). I just walked in her office and sat down on a chair and started chatting her up for 5-10 min. I didn't think to use any kino, but I will next time, if only to observe the results. I probably could have number closed, but didn't; I just want to use this girl for practice.

This afternoon I walked around for approaches and lost my nerve every time (as usual):cuss:. However, I did run into a great looking girl who was in my class last year (probably an hb8-9 w/ a great face but a downright smokin' body). While I talked w/ her, just about every guy walking by was checking her out (and w/ good reason). I went ahead and number closed, but she said she had to go right afterwards to make sure her parking meter didn't expire. That was fine by me, but now I wonder if I made her uncomfortable. Forgot to use kino again on this one.

Also, called the number from the girl at the party last week and set something up for this Saturday. I opened the convo w/ a variant I found on a Senor Fingers thread and pretty much bombed through it, but I recovered w/ a neghit that changed her reaction from cautious and uncomfortable to laughing and on the defensive. I don't think memorizing lines is my thing and this is fine since this is not the DJ way. Anyway, I got the date, so we'll see where it goes...

Question: At this stage in my development, should I just ask out any and every girl (within reason, course) in order to work on game/social skills, even if I feel only a mild attraction? There are a few girls that I have only marginal interest in, and I don't want to waste too much time/money w/ them. However, the attention from a variety of different women could give me practice, confidence, and social proof. For an rAFC like me, perhaps this is worth the effort, and I can always LJBF them later. They might even have some cute friends; is this how one develops a player status? What's your take guys? Thanks again for the feedback.

 

[Docs]

but something happens to me in the presence of an unfamiliar hb.

Read the below again.

A HB 5 is no different from a HB 7 which is no different from HB 9.

Other then that, not bad, keep going, start talking to any girl you meet, no matter the hotness rating, and develop your mind to start using light kino and closing.

 

[Blackdragon5095]

I feel I'm in the same boat as you bro. I have to find our confidence. It dosen't matter if we get rejected or a girl gives us a nasty cold shoulder. ( Like I got today ) It matters if we just apporach.

I'm also glad that we are far from each other. That way we build inner strenght to push ourselfs besides having someone else push us.

In sapiens post. Gh was a unhappy person. In the end he became a pimp. How by going to alot of clubs and bars and of curse malls.
We gonna get used to apporaching their.

And yes you was right in your post. I losted my confidence in the mall. I will go to the mall more often to eat to get confidence back. I won't give up ethier should you.