Field Report:

[Mike32ct]

I always say drop the ego and don't cherry pick your FRs. Post the bad ones too. So here I go... The thumbs down is no accident this time .

I text this HB8 to see what she's up to.

Mike: Hey
HB8: Hiya. I'm getting a manicure and pedicure. I'll call you when I get back.

Mike: <Don't hold your breath.>

Two hours later, the phone rings.

HB8: Hey Mike this is HB8. I got this cool foreign film I want to see. Since it's snowing really bad tonight, want to come over? I'll make spaghetti too. How about 7pm?

Mike: Sounds good. See you then.

An hour before, received these text messages from her:

HB8: Do you have any wine? I'm almost out of white wine.
HB8: We'll have a fun night stuck in the snow
Mike: Sure.

Drive to liquor store. It's full of people. Good, they're still open. The pr*ck owner or manager locks the entrance door just as I get to the door because of the storm. Nice lol.

Drive to 24 hour grocery store. At this point, even beer is ok. It's before 9pm so they probably still sell it. I see this cutie working in the store.

Mike: Excuse me, which isle has the beer?
HB7.5: We don't sell alcohol.
Mike: Ok thank you anyway
Mike: <You don't understand my dilemma honey lol>

Driving home, I remembers a bottle of red wine my boss gave me for Xmas. It's gonna have to work. The roads are getting REALLY bad. Parked the car. She only lives a couple blocks away. I'm going to walk. Get bundled up and walk with the wine in a bag.

Arrive at her front door. Ring the bell.

HB8: Hey good to see you.
Mike: <Goes for greeting kiss>

She gives me her cheek. Ok, so far so bad.

HB8: You brought red wine? I was drinking white before. Is it ok to mix it?
Mike: I have no idea. <I'm too honest for my own good.>
HB8: I'll finish the white I have, and you can drink the red.

At the point, Mike wants to finish the whole bottle, alone lol.

HB8: I'll put the movie on. It's this really SAD foreign film.
Mike: <Sad film is not good, but she really wants to see it, so I guess?>

We eat dinner, then return to the film.

HB8: I can't wait to see this film.
Mike: I like some foreign films. We'll check it out.
HB8: <Starting crying during the movie>
Mike: <Aww cute. Cuddling with her and kinoing her arm>
HB8: <Won't stop crying>
Mike: <Stroking her hair. She settle downs.>

Mike: <Tried a few times to go for a kiss. She avoided eye contact and kissing.>

HB8: Mike?
Mike: Yep.
HB8: Can I tell you something without offending you?
Mike: Sure. I've heard it all.

HB8: You SO don't look like the type I go for.
HB8: I'm usually into, ya know, bad boys.
HB8: You're smart, have a house, good job, and are EVERYTHING I would want.

HB8: What about me?

Mike: <I'm pretty much done with her.> You're not my typical type <smirk>
Mike: <I was hoping for a 5'4" teacher who isn't into sad films and bad boys.>

HB8 receives several text messages.

HB8: Oh, it's my gf so and so.
Mike: Ok <I wasn't born at 8am this morning.>

A few minutes later...

HB8: I'm tired. I'll drive you home.
Mike: Ok <It's the least she can do.>

Drops me off at her house. Doesn't attempt to kiss me. Gives her quick kiss. <Don't know why. Stupid actually.>

When her car pulls away, instead of turning left (towards her place), she turns right to go somewhere else...

Mind you, there is zero traffic, so she wasn't turning around.

<Do I need to explain what that means?>

Mike is disappointed but still a gentleman. Sends a final text.

Mike: Thanks for dinner.

She doesn't respond until 9:30am the NEXT MORNING. <I hope the bad boy was good last night.>

HB8: You're welcome. I had a nice time

<Emphasis added>

 

[ARrocket]

Wow. That seemed like a sure thing the way she set it up!

Guess you should have told her it's fine to mix wines :crazy:

 

[sageproduct]

Ahhh man it's ok I'm on my way out gonna type some more when I get back. But what's the background of this check/how did you meet? And did things go anywhere with that one check who was new in town that you met while eating chicken fingers? lol

 

[Mike32ct]

Ahhh man it's ok I'm on my way out gonna type some more when I get back. But what's the background of this check/how did you meet? And did things go anywhere with that one check who was new in town that you met while eating chicken fingers? lol

Actually this was the chicken fingers girl.

 

[Mr. Bond]

You sound pretty open minded and easygoing. Personally, I am too, and I think that can hurt my chances sometimes. I like to be open to suggestions because it takes me in directions I may never have thought of before and it allows me to experience new things.

The bad news is that it gives girls the sense that they can walk all over you.

She asked you to:

1. Wait for her call
2. Come to her house at a specific time
3. Watch a movie she chooses
4. Give her some wine
5. Sit on the couch with her while she cries at a movie


Now all of these things might have been just fine with you (other than her crying at the movie), but doing all those things says to her that you're willing to go along with whatever she wants. Total compliance from you = friend zone.

Either way, good job posting a report - even if it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to.

 

[Mike32ct]

True. I was very weak in the "leading" area. I was too laid back and accommodating.

 

[Purefilth]

sad... she didnt wanna eat alone, so she set you up for dinner and booked in the bedtime plans with someone else.

We've all done it.

NEXT!!

 

[Mike32ct]

sad... she didnt wanna eat alone, so she set you up for dinner and booked in the bedtime plans with someone else.

We've all done it.

NEXT!!

Yep. Guys beware of the "half date" where you do dinner or a movie or whatever, but she is in a hurry to leave or kick you out shortly after.

Two years ago, I had a NYE date where we were going dancing at this club. She said she wanted to go but "She had to be brought home right after midnight because she had a dress fitting for a wedding at 8am the next day."

I talked to a female friend about it.

Female friend: This girl is full of shyte. No bridal place is open at 8am on New Years Day.

Mike: So what you are saying is, when I drop this girl off at her house, as soon as my car pulls away another one will park in her driveway?

Female friend: Exactly. Cancel this "Half Date" BS.

I followed that advice.

 

[Mr. Bond]

Yep. Guys beware of the "half date" where you do dinner or a movie or whatever, but she is in a hurry to leave or kick you out shortly after.

Two years ago, I had a NYE date where we were going dancing at this club. She said she wanted to go but "She had to be brought home right after midnight because she had a dress fitting for a wedding at 8am the next day."

I talked to a female friend about it.

Female friend: This girl is full of shyte. No bridal place is open at 8am on New Years Day.

Mike: So what you are saying is, when I drop this girl off at her house, as soon as my car pulls away another one will park in her driveway?

Female friend: Exactly. Cancel this "Half Date" BS.

I followed that advice.

Smart man. I don't blame you too much for the original post though - it wasn't like any obvious red flags came up until you were already at her place.

 

[sageproduct]

K I'm back. Just reread your original post about when you met this girl, damn my memory it was chicken wraps not chicken fingers lol.

Out of curiosity, what were the three weeks between then and now like?

You seem really quick to look for indicators of disinterest. I think that's an overall mentality here that is harmful. Seeing how you went through the trouble of making sure you didn't show up without wine, you were definitely invested in this chick.

It seems like there wasn't a lot of seeding/directing your relationship w/her toward a sexual/romantic one. Still, I don't think you were shot before you set foot in her place. Uphill battle yes, but lost no. She probably wanted to size you up, and you were too passive.

 

[SamTheHobit]

You should have collected her tears for lubrication.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

What you need to do:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8qs5hPmSBs

 

[floydb25]

Well, it definitely doesnt sound like you two are compatible... At all. You're a decent guy, and she's bad girl. THAT'S why she likes bad guys.

I mean, right from the jump... All the traits (on both ends) are there. She immediately took the dominating role, and wasnt very "nice - likely due to how she is by nature. She went for what she wanted, made the decisions, was aggressive, didnt hold back on anything, decided how things were going to be, and was pretty selfish, ungrateful, and rude. You, meanwhile, were interested, affectionate, accommodating, went out of your way for her, and so forth. Complete opposites, but a lot of decent folk fall for these types - due to their submissive nature.

I mean, she basically had no regard for anyone but herself. You contacted her; she was "too busy", but would contact you (ie, on her terms). She contacted you, you were available, she asked for something already. You go through hoops (when you shouldnt have), she doesnt appreciate what you did, and acts like it wasnt good enough... "Oh, you can have it". Rejects you for being too nice, doesnt appreciate the affection. Decides you arent good enough (see: exciting, sexy, or interesting); tells you as much; cuts the date short, and tells you to leave.

Thats basically it. No chance, no appreciation, no kindness, no mutality. At least, none that I see. She was very aggressive and straight-forward throughout. Chewed you in and spit you out, because you were too boring and nice, pretty much. "AUUWP... NOPE... NOT INTERESTED... NOT GOOD ENOUGH... YOU GOTTA LEAVE... KBYE."

She may not have been a complete *****, but no one is right away. They all put on that facade of at least trying to be decent, not being too mean or offensive, and so forth. I can see that happening here. But from the sounds of it, she's stuck up, has a low attention span, expects to be swept off her feet, and isnt very nice. These kind of girls LOVE bad boys - despite complaining about them constantly. But theyre crazy and stupid like that.

The worst thing you can do is remain in contact, be her friend, etc - even if she contacts you. You'll be used and played like a *****, to serve her needs, and fill in the gaps... Nitpicked and disregarded, etc. Almost guaranteed.

But you're going to find a lot of these hot, aggressive, selfish, *******-loving types in the dating scene. Theyre never really in any LTRs, because theyre *****es, love the ****, seek BBs, etc. Thats why theyre always single and available. A lot of jumping around, more into the shallow emotions (ie, infatuation), into the chase and challenge and aggressive dominance. But they usually end up getting beat down a lot.

But those are just my opinions - based on the info provided. :woo:

Edit: 10-1, if you had the BB look, appeal, and fake charm - she wouldve been all about the sex, and what she probably expected. Thats how it is with these hoes. Very shallow, on the move, and looking for instant gratification. I mean, ****... Night-time, movie, her place. Please... All you have to do is walk in the door, and say "SEX", and its GG. Truth.

But you definitely need to be less nice guyish; be more assertive; speak up; add some interesting banter and sexual excitement; etc. And do this right away. Most *****es dont wait to get to know you, or break the shyness, or whatever. Gotta be on-point and ready immediately. Dont hold back so much, or be extra courteous - UNLESS THEY ARE. Mirror their actions, do the deciding, get them to chase, etc. Be more fun than pleasant.

 

[Mike32ct]

ARrocket:

She ended up drinking both the red and white wines lol.

AJ:

LOL. Funny video, but true.

Sageproduct:

Yes actually it was chicken wraps not chicken fingers. Back to the history, I got her number then (about three weeks ago). Since then we did the following "dates":

1. Met for a drink at another bar.
2. Went to her place for a movie. Brief makeout, then she had to "get up early." I knew it was BS, but cut her some slack.
3. Went to the cinema to see a movie. Nothing except hand holding crap.

Last night was our fourth date. I've been more than patient. It's so a lost cause it's not even funny.

Samthehobit:

LOL. I should have told her that the weatherman said she was gonna get three to five inches tonight lol. Maybe she would have stopped crying and started laughing lol.

Floyd:

You are so right. It wasn't just last night. She's been flakey all along. Even these "dates" weren't a smooth linear pattern of meet ups. There were several cancellations and re-schedulings in between.

Why did I do this? I wanted to experiment and actually try out the "take it slow" role since it certainly wasn't happening fast. I've always been quick to "next" and wanted to try something different. (Of course her being hot was a factor.) I figured even it it took 5 dates to close, so what? It failed miserably. Ultimately, I was spinning my wheels. Nothing was happening.

I should have bailed on this AW b&tch right away.

I'm all done with her.

Thank you guys.

 

[pinkfl]

When a girl says that you are not her normal "type" she is saying that she isn't sure that she is attracted to you but is giving it a shot anyways. Unless she follows it up with "and I am glad because I really like you" or "I used to think I had a type till I met you"

Saying that she normally likes "bad boys" sounds to me like she thinks that she can change a trainwreck into a gentleman and then be shocked that she isn't interested in him anymore (because then he is no longer her type!"

 

[Mike32ct]

Lessons learned:

1. Keep booze in the house. Have beer and wine (one red and one white at least) on hand at all times. If there's a storm or the liquor store is closed, you're SOL.

2. Don't let her string you along with the "I'll give him a few kisses here and there" crap. It's just another form of friendzone.

3. Don't forget to lead.

4. No sad movies. Funny or action or romantic/sexual only. Scary is good too.

 

[Trump]

I don't know much, but I would have called her on everything.

"You have a job, house, car...everything I want."
"So why aren't we having sex yet?"

"Oh it's my gf so and so"
"Did you want to meet her?"

"Oh I didn't see you turn around, did you not go back home? You said you were tired."

Etc, etc

 

[floydb25]

Oh yeah... These are definitely the bar-esque sluts I used to date. Meet up at a bar, drink... Go to her place... Whatever fluff... Flakey bull**** as theyre jumping on other ****s and being crazy... Go back to her place, drink... Loves bad boys... Its all there. Alcohol, excitement, and **** is all they care about. Dont court, act gentlemanly, or take it slow with these hoes. Dont experiment or decipher their bull****. Theyre very... stupid and useless. Irrelevant, really.

This is EXACTLY the kind of girl who seeks after BBs, and what you attract by being one. Just a bunch of crazy, dysfunctional, alcoholic retards with daddy issues - who like to suck **** and be thrown out of moving vehicles - because its fun and exciting and gives something to ***** about in their drama-filled lives.

This is pretty much her entire lifestyle - what she showed you. It consists of: bars, ****, her place, ****, bad boys, ****, complete stupidity and irrationality, ****, alcohol, ****.

How to avoid: dont go to bars / clubs / parties, dont do online dating, and dont be a BB. Otherwise, youre going to have these crazy hoes all over you.

 

[alpha_ash]

what does BB stand for?

 

[floydb25]

Bad boy. NG = nice guy. Makes it easier, and I'm lazy as ****.