Field Report.

[ThunderMaverick]

Man I really don't like posting long stories.



Whatever.


Where I bartend at they have 18 and over night every Thursday and Friday. Whenever I get the chance I flirt with the girls and I dance with them whenever I get an opportunity to do so. It's really fun being in a flirtatious environment like that. Other times women can be such a turn off at bars. This one girl said to me straight up, "I want a long island and your phone number". Yuck. I don't like women who pursue but I did get a dance with her. My God could she dance.

So, Friday right? I serve a 22 year old HB 7.5. She would be an 8, but she talks kinda urban. Not really my preference, but I like women. (She was also one of the only few girls who was over 21) and I admit I gave her a little too much to drink. She came back to the bar a few times and struck up a few conversations. Got a dance with her. And I made a few covert passes at her. Apparently she wasn't use to bold guys. When I told her I wanted a dance with her she told me "wow you're bold..." She turned her head away from me and said under her breath "i like that". She was drunk so she thought she wasn't being obvious. :crackup:

I told her later on in the night that I wanted to give her my number so we could hang out when she was more sober. She then tells me "I have a guy who I've been seeing on and off for like...a year." Funny. Earlier she told me she was single and I called her out on it. "Very sneaky of you" I cracked at her. She then said she had to go throw up.


Yeeah. I left it alone.


Then TWO of the girl's younger sister came up and asked about us. They kept telling me how nice I was and yadda yadda and how I should take her sister out. I told them about the double life she was leading me to believe she had and they told me to brush it off and ask for her number.

I told them "here's what I'll do. I'll give my number to you and you give it to her. If she wants to call me then that's fine. I won't ask for anything."

Well folks, she called the next day and we arranged for a coffee get together last night.

We met up and she told me why she lied to me about the fling. Allegedly she said she felt intimidated because she saw me as some sort of a player.

This is an important question I want someone to ask: Why does every girl I sleep with think I'm a player BEFORE we have sex?

Told her I would give her the benefit of the doubt and forget about the lie she told me.

THEN (what I ALWAYS do) I laid everything out on the table about what I wanted. I wasn't looking for a relationship. I was very attracted to her and whatever happened happened. I still date, etc. She said she understood but it didn't seem to phase her. (That's always a green light for me. If they state they want something different, I tell them I understand and we part on very polite terms) We then went to watch a movie at her....grandmother's place. Yah yah it was the closest place and she had work the next morning.

We watched a bit of Cruel Intentions out in the living room. She kept talking about how she wasn't sure about me and how I could be a player. I always shrug at this. I haven't figured out what to say! Her sister walked in and kinda c0cked blocked but then went into her room after a few minutes. When the movie ended we were looking for movies to watch on the floor. I got really close to her and as she turned away from me to put another movie in, I snaked my arm around her waist and forcefully pulled her into me. Her last words were: "No! No no wait!!" as she tried to pull away.

Then I kissed her for about half a second. A nice short, but FULL kiss. She broke away for a second, then grabbed the back of my head and raped my mouth. She had a tongue ring too. Never kissed a girl with a tongue ring.

I must be getting nothing but prudes because they always say "I can't believe you did that." It NEVER fails. So we're making out on and off and we finally go to her car and start making out some more. She keeps saying to me "oh my God I can't have sex with you I don't do this on the first date." I said told her that whatever happens it's because we're attracted to each other. No big deal. I wasn't going to press further because I kinda believed her. So after a few more makeout sessions I leave and tell her to call me.


I want to lay her this weekend, but I'm not sure. She really seems like a relationship type of girl and isn't into casual flings. If I do her she's going to get really attached I think.

What do you guys think? I want to see her naked but I don't want her to end up regretting it.

 

[Jitterbug]

This is an important question I want someone to ask: Why does every girl I sleep with think I'm a player BEFORE we have sex?

They all say that to guys who don't kiss their arses and beg for sex. Men are so rare that, to them, there are only two types of males: chumps and players.

She really seems like a relationship type of girl and isn't into casual flings. If I do her she's going to get really attached I think.

What makes you think so? Write down things that make you think she's a relationship girl. See if they make sense and connect.

I used to think like that about a lot of girls, until I got a FB who's a "relationship" type. Well, she appears as a relationship girl to guys who fit the good boyfriend type, and she fvcks other guys on the side and doesn't count them towards her score. Since I started hanging out with a lot of women (through the dancer community), I've seen more and more of those chameleons.

Not that your girl would be the same, but I recommend writing it down so that you can detach your emotions and desire for her from your assessment, and evaluate her with a clear mind.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

She seemed like a relationship girl because she says she's been hurt in the past and was a little intimidated by me. I understood the problems she might have had in the past and that's another reason I like to lay EVERYTHING out. It relives me of any guilt if she willingly wants to put her emotions in harms way.


But sometimes I can't help but feel a bit responsible. Girls will say one thing and feel differently the next. She can say she's cool with me and just being "casual" but something is off with her feelings. My "sharingan" can see it.

 

[Warrior74]

She seemed like a relationship girl because she says she's been hurt in the past and was a little intimidated by me.

LOL. You gotta be kidding.

First your believing what she says, buying into her bull****. Or frame. Stop that.

Second if you came at her like a real man then of course she's intimidated, she knows shes gonna have a harder time manipulating you and keeping you.

Third. You met her in a bar while she was half drunk and acting a lil ghetto. Don't go putting her on a pedestal, remember what your dealing with.

Fourth. What the hell do you want? Just some ass, a girlfriend or a **** buddy or what? Do you even know?

I understood the problems she might have had in the past and that's another reason I like to lay EVERYTHING out. It relives me of any guilt if she willingly wants to put her emotions in harms way.

Guilt? She's an adult. There is no guilt. She does what she wants just like you do what you want. You aren't responsible for other peoples thoughts feelings or emotions.

But sometimes I can't help but feel a bit responsible. Girls will say one thing and feel differently the next. She can say she's cool with me and just being "casual" but something is off with her feelings. My "sharingan" can see it.

LOL. If she found a real man of course she's gonna play it cool for a minute. And then later see if she can lock you down. Turn you into an afc,beta, symp and make you hers. You already know what's up.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

LOL. You gotta be kidding.

First your believing what she says, buying into her bull****. Or frame. Stop that.

I'm just going to be considerate. It's not going to make me more attached or detached.

Second if you came at her like a real man then of course she's intimidated, she knows shes gonna have a harder time manipulating you and keeping you.

Forgot about that. You're right.

Third. You met her in a bar while she was half drunk and acting a lil ghetto. Don't go putting her on a pedestal, remember what your dealing with.

Never did. Like I said I'm just being considerate of someone's feelings. It doesn't mean she'll be able to manipulate me in any way. Her feelings will not pull me into investing more than I personally want to.

Fourth. What the hell do you want? Just some ass, a girlfriend or a **** buddy or what? Do you even know?

I told her I'm not looking for a relationship and if something physical happens between us then I'm fine with it.

Guilt? She's an adult. There is no guilt. She does what she wants just like you do what you want. You aren't responsible for other peoples thoughts feelings or emotions.

Yes yes you're right again.

LOL. If she found a real man of course she's gonna play it cool for a minute. And then later see if she can lock you down. Turn you into an afc,beta, symp and make you hers. You already know what's up.

Hmm.. This response is making me horny. I'm going to call her tomorrow and set something up this weekend. The beast has been unleashed again.

 

[Jitterbug]

She seemed like a relationship girl because she says she's been hurt in the past and was a little intimidated by me.

LOL mate wake the hell up! That's what they ALL say. I'd be a very rich man if I got a dollar for everytime I hear a woman says she's been hurt in the past and is wary of players. Have a look at dating profiles online.

She's honest in saying that she's a little intimidated by you. It's because you're not acting all AFC from the get-go. But be warned, she's giving you a sh!t-test that's dangerously turning you into one. She's playing a stronger card now: acting like a victim of past relationships to get you to spill your guts, or play Captain Save-A-Ho / Mr Nice-Guy. And if this doesn't end well? She gets to pin all the blame on you, my friend!

It's one of the oldest tricks in their book.

I understood the problems she might have had in the past and that's another reason I like to lay EVERYTHING out. It relives me of any guilt if she willingly wants to put her emotions in harms way.

It's just sex. You're not responsible for her emotions.

Anyway forget what she's up to for a moment. What are you looking from this girl? ONS, FB, relationship? Not what you told her but what you really look for. If it's true that you just want something physical, what's with the guilt complex?

But sometimes I can't help but feel a bit responsible. Girls will say one thing and feel differently the next. She can say she's cool with me and just being "casual" but something is off with her feelings. My "sharingan" can see it.

If you're clear with your own feelings, you will understand hers.

 

[Juando]

Wow, Mr. T, hearing your tale makes me feel better!

With all due respect- I'm working to slim down my soft side 'cause it's killing me with chicks. So it's refreshing to hear that there are other humans out there who have similar issues...

Again, I'm not mocking you, and it sounds like you've seen the light here so you'll be fine. But it's inspiring for me on my path and gives me hope that I'm not alone in this AFC skin-shedding.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Well some women still act like little girls. Sometimes I feel as if they latch on to my strength and will let me do whatever I want to them. At times when I'm not attached they think they can ride the bull. They always get bucked off and get hurt.

I guess I'd feel sorry for her if she thinks she can handle me and ends up not being able to. As I said before it wouldn't change my motives or what I would want out of our encounters.

 

[STR8UP]

Wow, must be nice to be able to post about something other than having sex and not get the third degree from everyone....I envy you.

My advice- fukk her without regret or remorse. She's looking to get whatever she wants out of this and your feelings aren't a high priority for her, so why extend the courtesy?

 

[hithard]

Make a decision if it was right or wrong after you f*ck her
Bar hoppers are bed hoppers if you don’t hit it someone else will ,with no after thought of her feelings.

 

[DavenJuan]

i think you handled the situation just fine.

the only thing i do want to warn you of is the fact you were completely up front with her. DESPITE the fact you told her what you expect, women believe they can "change" men. if she grows feelings for you she (with no doubt in my mind) will convince herself that you eventually will "change" and want a relationship

have you encountered this with other women you were "upfront" with?

casually spinning plates and not investing too much time with one particular person will possibly eliminate this IMO.

side note: have you seen any benefits from working in a bar? with staff? with patrons? IMO you can use this to your advantage and look at how men and women behave socially with eachother in this type of environment

 

[iqqi]

I think your whole "all the cards on the table" Upfront About All thingy is UNSUAVE and also information overload.

As far as when women say they think you are a player, just say "me, a player? I was a virgin til I was 23!" If you are really suave and player smooth, that line could land you the booty easy.

edit: I like your sig, Davenjuan.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

I think your whole "all the cards on the table" Upfront About All thingy is UNSUAVE and also information overload.

Really? It's gotten me nothing but laid. To be honest I've never been turned down after saying this.

You know it's all in the way I say it as well. ^_~ I don't say "Listen, we're gonna have sex and that's it! huff huff" It's not like i just bring it up. They ask me what I'm looking for and I tell them. I tell them whatever happens happens. I don't tell them straight out that we're going to have sex. That is UNSUAVE.

For some reason the way I say it creates much more sexual tension than before the conversation.

My DELIVERY is tighter than you sucking a baseball through a crazy straw, Icky.

HELLOOOO!!

As far as when women say they think you are a player, just say "me, a player? I was a virgin til I was 23!" If you are really suave and player smooth, that line could land you the booty easy.

OOoho ! I LOVE THAT ONE!! Nice conversation grabber too!! Thanks!:cheer: