IceBreaker
Don Juan
Hey, it's me again - ralph. lol
i'm going to try something new.
this time instead of getting ahead of myself, i'm just going to write field reports until i think i'm good enough to teach this to other people (which i hope to do one day).
tell me if you like it.
Ok. the last two month i've been really busy. mainly becuase it's the summer time for me. and i'm going to spend every last bit of it until school hits me again.
i've been thinking lately and feeling guilty. I know deep inside, i should improve my communicating skills every chance i get.
But every time i see a girl, i freeze, i just stand there. So this summer, i decided to put what i preach to the test. i've approached girls before, and had success, but only from betting money on it with my friends. Until recently this week, i had realised several things
1. Fear is not overcome by sheer thought, and tackling through "anxiety", becuase when you get the courage to go up and talk, your unprepared, you look creepy, and you don't LEARN a damn thing. other than getting used to getting rejected and realising it's not that bad. but there's a better way.
the best way to learn how you look like, is watching yourself do it... one of the major breakthroughs i had was from my vedio camera, and my webcam. You will learn your approach pattern more rapidly, and make changes you wouldn't otherwise make when approaching. take yourself out and be the thurd person watching, you can learn alot. Practice practice, practice, until you don't even think when you approach, becuase you've taped and watched yourself do it so much.. ones you said that "hey" or what ever you want. it just seems natural to have a conversation.
for instance. i used to have a major problem with approach anxiety, i tend to shrug it off and go. but it still shows off in my body language (Even though i tried to look "confident" it still doesn't work). i would shake my right legg constanly like i'm about to run (i have no idea how i got that habbit) i thouch myself on the shoulders...
But not this time!
instead, i walked straight up, put my hands in front of me (all fingers spreaded ******d) and stoped her, said something dumb (becuase i genuinly forgot what i said, it was the first approach of the day, and i had a brain fart. lol) i think it was, "wait... i was walking by, and i thought ur really cute, so i had to stop and say hey." she had a huge smile (it was like a warm kind of smile) said thanks then she walked off on me!!!
normaly, i would just walk off, but for some reason, my brain said, she's probbaly shy, talk to her. So i did... it was strange. I think that's becuase i realise my goal was not pickup, it was to have a normal conversation. it was very smooth, everything clicked in my mind.
so i touched the side of her arm and i said. wait, i didn't even get your name... she actually turned around and stoped. i got to know what school she goes to, how old she is (she's 18, and i'm 17), where she lives, and i got her name... lol. mid conversation she gave me her number then walked off again.
my friend who walked away (who watched at a distance - i hate when people do that), had his jaw on the floor, i later approached 4 more cute girls (number closed) until i headed to my friend's house to play game cube.
i called back the first approach girl again, and she was apologising for being in a hurry, she was late for work. we talked more, got to know each other, and at the hight of convo, i "had to let you go" so i closed my phone, she later text me, and we kept in contact that way. but she's in saskatchewan now, so i'm waiting for her to call back so i can set up a date.
i had to say, i felt ****ty about approaching at first, but when success comes, so does confidence, i was smiling all throughout the day after the first girl, i got so good, that i was just talking to random people. even running to them just to talk to them. my rejection rate was 1 out of 5. i have 4 numbers. but 3 were fakes, or nobody picked up their phone, so i deleted the numbers.
i can't tell you the feeling you get, to be leaning on a well routine. becuase as you guys know, it's not what you say, it's what you look like, and what you do, and until you know what you look like while your doing it. your going to be leaning on pressure.
as style says "true confidence comes from success". i've had success getting numbers before, but when you know your doing things exactly the way that feels right, and that you get genuine attraction. it's very unique, you'll only know how it feels when you do it. it's the feeling of creating attraction anytime whenever you feel like... and the best part is. each time you do it, approach anxiety corrodes away.
even though i'm not where i want. i know that now i've reached a new level.
let me keep doing this for another month or so and i'll write more on this.
ok, so to sum it all up:
MY FINAL POINT IS: do this, and body language will fix itself (given that you know how to hold yourself), conversations will flow naturally, you don't even have to think about what to say. becuase once you've "broken the ice" you will have a deep conversation that seperates you from 80% of the guys she talk to.
disclaimer: you don't want to practice in front of your camera/webcam too much. you have to go out there and practice (1 day practice, 1 day do it). the goal is to get a conversation going, and to know who she is as an individual. she wants a guy who will GET her. and you won't achieve that by being a robot. (but then again. robots may get girlfriends, so who knows.) so don't be afraid to be vulnurable.
take care guys
-icebreaker
p.s. post lots of comments!
i'm going to try something new.
this time instead of getting ahead of myself, i'm just going to write field reports until i think i'm good enough to teach this to other people (which i hope to do one day).
tell me if you like it.
Ok. the last two month i've been really busy. mainly becuase it's the summer time for me. and i'm going to spend every last bit of it until school hits me again.
i've been thinking lately and feeling guilty. I know deep inside, i should improve my communicating skills every chance i get.
But every time i see a girl, i freeze, i just stand there. So this summer, i decided to put what i preach to the test. i've approached girls before, and had success, but only from betting money on it with my friends. Until recently this week, i had realised several things
1. Fear is not overcome by sheer thought, and tackling through "anxiety", becuase when you get the courage to go up and talk, your unprepared, you look creepy, and you don't LEARN a damn thing. other than getting used to getting rejected and realising it's not that bad. but there's a better way.
the best way to learn how you look like, is watching yourself do it... one of the major breakthroughs i had was from my vedio camera, and my webcam. You will learn your approach pattern more rapidly, and make changes you wouldn't otherwise make when approaching. take yourself out and be the thurd person watching, you can learn alot. Practice practice, practice, until you don't even think when you approach, becuase you've taped and watched yourself do it so much.. ones you said that "hey" or what ever you want. it just seems natural to have a conversation.
for instance. i used to have a major problem with approach anxiety, i tend to shrug it off and go. but it still shows off in my body language (Even though i tried to look "confident" it still doesn't work). i would shake my right legg constanly like i'm about to run (i have no idea how i got that habbit) i thouch myself on the shoulders...
But not this time!
instead, i walked straight up, put my hands in front of me (all fingers spreaded ******d) and stoped her, said something dumb (becuase i genuinly forgot what i said, it was the first approach of the day, and i had a brain fart. lol) i think it was, "wait... i was walking by, and i thought ur really cute, so i had to stop and say hey." she had a huge smile (it was like a warm kind of smile) said thanks then she walked off on me!!!
normaly, i would just walk off, but for some reason, my brain said, she's probbaly shy, talk to her. So i did... it was strange. I think that's becuase i realise my goal was not pickup, it was to have a normal conversation. it was very smooth, everything clicked in my mind.
so i touched the side of her arm and i said. wait, i didn't even get your name... she actually turned around and stoped. i got to know what school she goes to, how old she is (she's 18, and i'm 17), where she lives, and i got her name... lol. mid conversation she gave me her number then walked off again.
my friend who walked away (who watched at a distance - i hate when people do that), had his jaw on the floor, i later approached 4 more cute girls (number closed) until i headed to my friend's house to play game cube.
i called back the first approach girl again, and she was apologising for being in a hurry, she was late for work. we talked more, got to know each other, and at the hight of convo, i "had to let you go" so i closed my phone, she later text me, and we kept in contact that way. but she's in saskatchewan now, so i'm waiting for her to call back so i can set up a date.
i had to say, i felt ****ty about approaching at first, but when success comes, so does confidence, i was smiling all throughout the day after the first girl, i got so good, that i was just talking to random people. even running to them just to talk to them. my rejection rate was 1 out of 5. i have 4 numbers. but 3 were fakes, or nobody picked up their phone, so i deleted the numbers.
i can't tell you the feeling you get, to be leaning on a well routine. becuase as you guys know, it's not what you say, it's what you look like, and what you do, and until you know what you look like while your doing it. your going to be leaning on pressure.
as style says "true confidence comes from success". i've had success getting numbers before, but when you know your doing things exactly the way that feels right, and that you get genuine attraction. it's very unique, you'll only know how it feels when you do it. it's the feeling of creating attraction anytime whenever you feel like... and the best part is. each time you do it, approach anxiety corrodes away.
even though i'm not where i want. i know that now i've reached a new level.
let me keep doing this for another month or so and i'll write more on this.
ok, so to sum it all up:
MY FINAL POINT IS: do this, and body language will fix itself (given that you know how to hold yourself), conversations will flow naturally, you don't even have to think about what to say. becuase once you've "broken the ice" you will have a deep conversation that seperates you from 80% of the guys she talk to.
disclaimer: you don't want to practice in front of your camera/webcam too much. you have to go out there and practice (1 day practice, 1 day do it). the goal is to get a conversation going, and to know who she is as an individual. she wants a guy who will GET her. and you won't achieve that by being a robot. (but then again. robots may get girlfriends, so who knows.) so don't be afraid to be vulnurable.
take care guys
-icebreaker
p.s. post lots of comments!
