Field report. Met a cute little beauty, but she had a slimey henchman

[Chamber36]

I went out last night, first time since new years as I got sick after new years.

I was drinkin a beer, and I looked to my right and saw a really nice cute and pretty girl lookin at me. I smiled and raised my glass to her, and she just kinda kept lookin and smiling, so I went over and talked to her. The talking was smooth, she seemed a bit nervous but I think I put her at ease, asked her where she's from, how old she is, etc. Told her about me.

She was 19, and I'm 25. When I told her she just kinda shrugged, lol. Saw it as a green light. If the attraction is strong a girl won't doubt it so quick.

Man I am lucky that I was born goodlooking - and it's a good thing I groom myself well and do plenty of pull ups.

She just moved to Amsterdam 2 months ago to study economics at the university. A real good girl apparently.

Her eyes were like WAY dilated, it looked like she was on extacy. And she wasn't afraid to look me in the eyes either. It was really a romantic little encounter...
She also kept lookin at my lips and licking her own lips.

Thing is I wanted to at least get to know her a bit better before I went in for the kiss - especially with a little sweetheart like her - I wouldn't want to scare her off.

Problem was that she was there with some guy, and he returned from the bar with 2 beers, and immediately started judging me. I realised after about 1-2 minutes that I was really more alpha than him, as he averted his eye-contact and lowered his head a bit.

Anyways, he kept talking to the girl. That's where I got a little confused.

I didn't want to just stand there while they were talking, although they didn't completely ignore me or anything. I just wanted to talk to the girl privately.

As I slowly raised my hand to touch her arm, I noticed from her body language she didn't want me to go... So I dropped my hand, and stood there for another few minutes. I couldn't really defuse the situation anymore with that guy right there.... So after waiting another few minutes I told them I was gonna return to my friend. Got some eye-contact. I thought she would understand that I would like to talk to her, but she needed to ditch the guy. I think she kinda looked me in my eyes longingly for a split second as I walked away...

So I went to my friend and explained to him the situation. He told me to intimidate the guy, but he wasn't aware that they were friends.

My friend said she was keeping her eye on me, and I looked but she was just talking to her douche friend...

So I went to the bar for 2 beers, and when I turned around she had disappeared!

I started lookin around for her after a while, but she was gone....

Decided to try and mack on some other girls, but I got ****blocked about 2 more times, lol.

It seemed like last night was ****block night for me. Maybe it was the big pecs, the tight T-shirt, the pretty face I got, or my wild and peculiar sense of unique individuality, something seemed to be making those dudes try their best to keep me away from their girls. Whereas the girls seemed to be quite charmed....

As I raised my glass to the girl, I really felt myself giving off a player vibe, which I try to tone down, as I don't want to scare off the girls.

I want to give off a more reliable impression towards them. Seems like the guys weren't having it.

Anyways I just wanted to post this little story. It was a 5 minute romance through nothing but talking, eye-contact and body language.

I haven't felt such a strong sense of mutual attraction really in a LONG time, especially with such a sweet and pretty girl. She was dark-blond and blue-eyed, and was just overall wonderful and sweet.

In retrospect I think I could have gotten a make-out with her just simply by asking her something like "do you want to kiss me?", and there BAM it would be a sealed.

Problem is that I wanted to get to know her for 2 seconds first, and then her stupid henchman showed up.

How should I have really solved this situation...? Whisper in her ear that I want to talk to her but not with that slimeball around?

I think I should have just told her explicitly that I wanted to talk to her and that she should not forget to come talk to me.

It's sad she's gone. I feel like I really found the perfect girl and I let her slip away, lol. What a sweetey she was.... oh well.

 

[salinechow]

How can a man of your stated character speak this way?

From what you say you have the tools but need a refresher on how to use them. There is a way to be imposing of your will without being “perceived” in any negative light. Always be firm but polite.

“Listen, what’s this guy’s deal. Is he your chaperone? He is giving me a bad vibe a bit, let’s move over there and keep talking. (I once did this similarly and then pointed at the bar tender and asked to add his next drink to my tab. That was a real d!ck move. I get that, but this is kinda what I mean. Its passive dominance. And. It definitely works.

I would say keep doing what you are doing but stop internalizing so much(I can get caught up in that as well)

Wear your clothes and pull ups with pride, you worked for them. F^ck what other people think(I don’t think they do. I think YOU do)

I have had several girls approach me (one FB stalked me from my volley org.) because. “You come off as a player but you seem sweet too. I wanted to find out for myself what’s your deal” Paraphrasing.

I think all of your stated confusion was coming from within. If you stated your story as accurately as you remember then this girl definitely wanted to keep talking and wanted to be rescued from this boring beta.

Or, she was using you for attention and drama. But, still, you could even have fun with that. Its not for you to decided beforehand, its for you to FIND OUT afterwards.

Tell her, “Come on MARCH.” Shell say “What? What do you mean march?” You say. “Come on just follow me” she might. Or she will ask where. “Just over there somewhere, its to loud over here.” Or make up some ****ing excuse.

I almost never get ****blocked by dudes. I just stay right the f where I am. Either I continue talking exactly how I was… or Ill even included them in the conversation (gather intel) Or Ill literally tell them to kick rocks. Depends on the vibe. Just don’t get lost till you have found out for sure you should move on. “ Hi. Im Daren, Julia’s husband. Can I steal her for a second my 3 yr old is home pukeing and the sitter is freaking out” is usually a one way ticket for me to move on. Sh!t like that.

I used to tell stories like yours. Kinda heartbreaking. Im sure I bumble too still, here and there. It does suck when it happens. But, I am always
increasing the odds nowadays that it won’t.

Stand firm. Speak firm. Ask for what you want directly. Ask for information directly. Do all of it with a grin.

STOP wasting such great interactions on Analysis Paralysis(That line brought to you by our member Between_ the_Lines)( I am practicing this as well just in a different area of the game)

Disclaimer: You should definitely know how to handle yourself if sh!t gets real. In this order practice self defense: De-fuse, evade, submission and pressure points, knocking someone’s block off as a last resort. You do not need to take up a martial art or boxing (although it can be a fun fitness regimen if your time permits) For you, just study(and perfect with practice) like 4 Tai Sabaki techniques, and 4 really good Law Enforcement type submissions, and 4 good strikes. (Don’t use strikes unless you feel like you are in imminent danger)

Lesson learned. But, you got this.

 

[Chamber36]

Thx for the advice.

Luckily I already know more than 4 submission techniques, and know some boxing too. Did 3 years MMA before I started hitting the gym.

I dont know what you mean by internalizing so much, and I'm not caught up in analysis paralysis at all. That's why I only post here every few months nowadays. I only rarely seem to encounter these situations where I feel like something interesting or significant happened which I need to analyse. Last night was one of those nights.

It all boils down to extracting the girl. All I really needed to do was just whisper in her ear: "Hey do you want to come join me at the bar?", then my Wing-man would have distracted the orbiter.

I just haven't really had a guerilla-warfare approach to clubbing in months. I usually just go there, sit at the bar, drink heavily, and eventually just grab some girls titties.

This was a more valuable girl though, which could under no circumstances be scared off, therefore I was unprepared. I had expected her to maybe join me at the bar, or at least stick around. But I'm sure the beta orbiter took her out as he noticed she was interested in me.

Thx for the reply man. Appreciate that you are willing to think with me.

 

[salinechow]

HAHA. What I mean about Analysis Paralysis (again thanks for the term BTL) is exactly in your “defense” of it. I start off by laughing because it is exactly the same “hang up” I have. "But this girl was special"

I can pull chicks pretty well nowadays(still have a lot to learn but I am real good at cold approach and just general creating attraction in social situations) but every so often you meet someone that just “does it for you” and that’s when our autopilot gets turned off and we start to analyze.

Actually, listen to us. We are pedestaling and start to get off balance with these particular girls. Then we become less dominant in the situation and slightly more supplicating to our surroundings. I think it is normal for it to happen but I think we both would do well to practice controlling it.

We have to try to treat what we perceive as “higher value” women the same exact way we would anybody else. I think we both start thinking too much about what she wants in that moment and not enough about what we want from the situation. Example being,(I would hoped I would have..) I would have kino’ed her anyway despite her body language giving you reservations. I would have told her to come with me so I continue the interaction. I would have gotten her to give me her information before she left.

Remember, I can sense you have this whole thing together pretty good. I am not deconstructing your whole game. Just commenting on what I can see are similarities in almost all DJ’s I think. I think certain insecurities are innate and can surface, we are humans. So, in short:

1. I noticed you thinking about how people perceive you because of your tight shirt and swagger. I just wanted to remind and encourage you to not give a f^ck. I think they notice a lot less than you think. There is actually psychology to this but that is for another time. Just keep doing you man, and think less of what other are thinking until you are actually talking with them. Id bet the vibe they get from you is different than you think and probably more positive.

2. I wanted to remind us both in writing. Those special girls and those special connections need to be addressed in the same way other connections are! No deviation from the frame of the game. If we do that, then we will be sure to get the number and a date, and not lose them in a crowd or to some beta fool. Then, she will have the chance to PROVE to us what she is really about and then we can soften a little after she does.

A quick P.S. about body language. I have developed a very high functioning non-verbal communication skillset. I am so glad to hear that you are paying attention to the body language thing, that is good instinct.
However, you are probably reading it wrong.

In short, next time, follow through with the touch and the kino. It will make her comfortable that you are comfortable enough to do it, despite her recoil. More passive dominance. Always use the whole palm also with the fingers or just the palm and fingers together but not touching her. Fingers only is a colder touch and more aggressive. Or, use the backs of your fingers palm facing you. This is a demonstration of a non threating touch. A caress if you will. The limbic brain sees this as” I cant be grabbed by a hand that is facing away from me” Just go for it next time! Trying and then not going through with it sends really bad signals.

With respect, Saline