Field Report - is asking them to "hang out" to general?

[skinnydart]

I ended up going into a chick's dorm room Friday afternoon for work (IT related). I chatted with her about random stuff, posters she had on her wall, where she's from, all seemed to go really well.

I had forgotten her first name so when I called to set up the appointment, there was kindof an awkward pause when I was trying to think of who to ask for.

Me "Yeah when I called your room I realized I didn't know who I was supossed to ask for-"
Her (in a serious tone) "well Emily is a pretty hard name to remember"
Me "yeah"
pause
Me "Wait, are you being sarcastic?"
Her (smiles) "yes"

Then when she found out I was an 18-year-old-senior in college her attitude changed quite a bit. In fact she said "OMG, I feel kinda intimidated now". I just reponded by saying "ok, well I should probaly take off now."

She followed me out to my car using the exuse "I want to see what kind of car you have". She seemed to be giving me plenty of opporotunities so I figured it would be dumb not to go for it. After I got to my car I turned, leaned on my car and said:

Me: "so, you want to hang out sometime?"
Her: "sure"
Me: "should I just call the room number or do you have a cell phone?"
Her: "yeah, I have a cell"
Me: (pulls my phone out of pocket) "You can just enter it in here"


So later I find out on facebook that she has a bf from back home. I've used the "so, you wanna hang out sometime" line probably 10-12 times and sucessfully gotten a phone number every single time. I just like it, it's more me and it comes naturally but I'm wondering if it's not clear enough that I want to date that person and not just hang out as friends.

Even though she seems cool I don't really want to ask her on a date just because I don't know enough about her. I usually like to hang out with them as friends, sometimes in a group with some other friends before asking them out for dinner or something. I guess that's kinda why I use the "hang out" as appossed to "go out for dinner". I'm not desperate enough to ask a girl for dinner after meeting her for 15 minutes.

So should I continue to get the numbers the way I have been, then call them to "hang out" or just screw that and call them to ask them out?

 

[skinnydart]

^

 

[h2o]

I did get a bunch of numbers and a few dates from campus/school game, but I didn’t actually go on the dates. At that time I was still getting over my fears, and was frankly, nervous about going on a “date,” so I flaked on them basically. Recently I crossed over into bars/clubs, and I’ve learned a few things that could relate to your situation. Keep in mind, you don’t have to take this from me per se, it’s been said before by others on the site as well…

1) The point is not to get her number. “Process not outcome” – Player_Supreme; In other words, the point of your interactions are not to build up to number closing her, rather, you should be building up to ****ing her. I barely number close anymore, and only do it as a last resort, only if I really have to…

2) From day approaches on campus I learned that if you’re going to get her number, it’s best when she offers it, or it’s a mutual exchange of numbers. It’s best to setup the date right there. I would say something like “hey I have to go, but I enjoyed talking to you, let’s have coffee on xyz day at xyz café.” I did something very similar to this for 4 approaches, and they were like “ok, great, let me give you my phone number. It wasn’t coffee every time; twice I offered to go bowling. Still, point being, you should be specific…and that way you don’t have to rely on “phone game,” which I usually end up botching totally.

Don’t take any thing I say verbatim. I’m still learning too.

But as I can see, you are in school, so you don’t need to be doing any of this “formal” dates with the dinners and crap. Why do you take them out to dinner? I mean, I say I have done a bunch of approaches with no actual dates…but, last semester girls have told me to come to their rooms to “watch a movie” …and you know what that means. So, just be casual with it…going out to dinner makes it so formal …I think you have to take a moment to think what you really are looking for. Is it sex? Or do you really want a full-blown LTR…you’re only 18. I’d think you’d lean to just sex. If it’s just sex, why waste time/money hanging out with her friends, then take her to dinner, etc…just do whatever it takes to bed her in the quickest time possible. Invite her to your dorm/place for drinks and a movie or bowling, or whatever.

Good luck

 

[griffon65]

I dont use "so u wanna hang out sometime?" to get a number, it has better uses. Theres nothing wrong with it, if its working for you go for it.