Field Report: Internet HB #1 (blind date).

[ZeeOwl]

Originally posted by myfriendblu
sounds good, you did fine. Don't get all bogged down by little missed things you shoulda done. Big deal. In the long run it means nothing. Do you think her IL would drop because you forgot a little kino or weren't as quick and witty as you shoulda been? Nope. I woulda kept the date a bit shorter, you do want to maintain an aura of mystery. Overall, I think her IL isn't all that high. I would rate it as a 4. Not high enough to warrent a second date. Good job and get back out there.

Thanks for the encouraging words. They're much appreciated, because I still feel like a dating rookie. Man I love LTRs, I'm an expert at those. Cutting down on the length of the dates is definitely an area I need improvement on. My latest one was a bit shorter, but I have a long (pun intended) way to go. I have the same feeling on her IL as you (at the end of the date). Though I think it was much higher at the beginning. Would you agree or disagree, and why? I'm trying to get the hang of gauging IL... I understand what you mean about not worrying about details, it's just that I'm trying to develop my game well enough to be able to influence IL. From what you say, I get the impression that you think IL is something which can be evaluated, but not affected (except negatively by doing something really stupid)... Am I reading you properly on this?

This one has me a little miffed I admit, because she was a truely interesting prospect. Actually the best I've come across in the 3 months since I started dating again. If you have any suggestions on ways I could try and recover her as a friend, those would be useful too, as she'd make great social proof.

Hey, aren't you proud of me blu. Two new prospects this week, and neither has kids.

BTW, I think this internet date thing is GREAT for people over 30.

I'd even say 25+, as soon as you're out in the workforce. Unless you're fortunate enough to work in an environment where you're in contact with a lot of women on a daily basis. You just have to keep in mind that the vast majority of women on the internet are ones who are jaded by the bar/club scene, and looking for a STR or LTR. So your goals have to be compatible with this, or you'll be wasting your time. Definitely not the best place to hunt for ONS.

 

[myfriendblu]

Originally posted by ZeeOwl
Thanks for the encouraging words. They're much appreciated, because I still feel like a dating rookie. Man I love LTRs, I'm an expert at those. Cutting down on the length of the dates is definitely an area I need improvement on. My latest one was a bit shorter, but I have a long (pun intended) way to go. I have the same feeling on her IL as you (at the end of the date). Though I think it was much higher at the beginning. Would you agree or disagree, and why?


-----Coulda been a bit higher, she may have been initially a bit higher based on your looks, and dipped lower as the date went on. Who cares. Don't even sweat it.

I'm trying to get the hang of gauging IL... I understand what you mean about not worrying about details, it's just that I'm trying to develop my game well enough to be able to influence IL. From what you say, I get the impression that you think IL is something which can be evaluated, but not affected (except negatively by doing something really stupid)... Am I reading you properly on this?

-----Exactly. The only thing you can do is act like a DJ. The IL is, what it is. Sure, when your in a STR or a LTR there are all kinds of ways to keep IL high and ways to lower IL. However, on a first date impression, her IL in you will be established in the first 5-10 minutes, and there is nothing you can do to change it, aside from just being a DJ.


This one has me a little miffed I admit, because she was a truely interesting prospect. Actually the best I've come across in the 3 months since I started dating again. If you have any suggestions on ways I could try and recover her as a friend, those would be useful too, as she'd make great social proof.

-----Im not a huge believer in social proof, ESPECIALLY for people over say, 25. It really isn't necessary. Your meeting plenty of women with this internet thing. The social proof is for the youngsters, who are out and about alot and meeting lots of new friends and people. As an older guy, your more established and busy with alot more responsibles, so it makes alot more sense to be a bit more of a solitary type of a guy. Not saying you should be a hermit, LOL. But I wouldn't worry about trying to go around making friends everywhere. You got other things and responsibilities. You don't need her for any resources. Plus, remember, women have no clue on how to find two compatibale people for a date, LOL. You have better luck getting your cat to set you up on a good date than some chik.

Hey, aren't you proud of me blu. Two new prospects this week, and neither has kids.

-----LOL hell yes. Go get them single women. Your gonna find, there is just a lot less baggage and hassle to deal with.

I'd even say 25+, as soon as you're out in the workforce. Unless you're fortunate enough to work in an environment where you're in contact with a lot of women on a daily basis. You just have to keep in mind that the vast majority of women on the internet are ones who are jaded by the bar/club scene, and looking for a STR or LTR. So your goals have to be compatible with this, or you'll be wasting your time. Definitely not the best place to hunt for ONS.

-----True, true. I would say for meeting GIRLS in the 25 + ranbge. But a 25-29 year old guy has plenty to choose from. But, as you can see, I have DEFINITELY softened my stance about guys 30+ using the internet for meeting people. I think its a great tool when your knowledable . Definitely the future, at least in the next decade, for older people in the dating scene.

 

[ZeeOwl]

Originally posted by myfriendblu
The only thing you can do is act like a DJ. The IL is, what it is. Sure, when your in a STR or a LTR there are all kinds of ways to keep IL high and ways to lower IL. However, on a first date impression, her IL in you will be established in the first 5-10 minutes, and there is nothing you can do to change it, aside from just being a DJ.

What you just said is a little discouraging. It makes it sound like just a numbers game. Hit on enough girls, and eventually you'll get lucky and run into one with high IL. Any chump can do that (no disrespect intented). That's the approach I've been using my whole life until now (except before I was shy and had low self-esteem, so wasn't doing much approaching), and I managed to get myself 3 LTRs and 2 STRs that way (I'm not incredibly good-looking btw, scored 7.2 on HotOrNot). Well actually the last 2 gfs I've had I semi-DJed, but it was unintentional, I just accidentally did the right things. lol The whole point of my being on this board, reading the DJ Bible, doing the Boot Camp, and reading up on the subject (I bought DYD), was so I could develop the skills and attitude necessary to be able to seduce women. I don't expect a 100% success rate of course, I don't even need to reach the level of M.A.C. to be satisfied, half-way there and I'd be thrilled. But I don't want to settle for hit-and-miss, with the occasional hit. I think I've reached a point where I'm pretty good at getting 1st dates now. My game for getting a girl in the "interest" state is good, I've seen a huge improvement in my success rate over the past few months (went from about 5% to about 20%). It's the actual dating I'm still struggling with. Of course I'm badly lacking in dating experience. I've gone on about 30 1st dates in my life, and 20 of those were in the past 3 months! lol That's the stage I'm working on improving now. I have trouble believing that a good DJ can't apply the same principles to dating, and actually build IL and "attraction". Maybe not create it out of nothing, but at least influence it positively in a fairly consistent manner. It should just be a question of acquiring the proper skills and attitude, no? I'd like your point of view on this. Everyone else's opinion is welcome of course.

Im not a huge believer in social proof, ESPECIALLY for people over say, 25. It really isn't necessary. Your meeting plenty of women with this internet thing. The social proof is for the youngsters, who are out and about alot and meeting lots of new friends and people. As an older guy, your more established and busy with alot more responsibles, so it makes alot more sense to be a bit more of a solitary type of a guy. Not saying you should be a hermit, LOL. But I wouldn't worry about trying to go around making friends everywhere. You got other things and responsibilities. You don't need her for any resources. Plus, remember, women have no clue on how to find two compatibale people for a date, LOL. You have better luck getting your cat to set you up on a good date than some chik.

Don't be so quick to dismiss social proof for us older folk. For getting me dates, I agree (partially). I've been helped out by girl-friends on occasion, but it's far from being my biggest source of prospects. I have noticed though, that women check me out a lot more when I'm in the company of another lady. I organize dances in my city, and the times I was there with my latest ex (that's where I met her btw), I noticed that a lot of single women were checking me out, and she's no beauty queen (a 5.5 on my scale), so it's not even about being seen with a hot lady. It's just the fact that I was with someone. The times I was there alone, much less attention. And I was still dating her, she just wasn't there. One time she even told me that another woman had come up to her and asked who I was, when she told her I was her bf, her reply was "Better be careful, I'm gonna steal him from you.". lol And one of the things that drove my latest ex's IL up several points originally, is that I was dating someone else at the time. She even told me herself. If I go clubbing to the local meat-market with this HB prospect of mine, I can guarantee it will generate interest. She's a 7.5 wearing jeans and a sweater. All dolled up in clubbing gear, my estimate is 8 to 8.5. So that's why I'd like to recover her as social proof. I wouldn't mind being LJBF with her. She's a nice lady, and honestly, I wasn't feeling any sexual vibes between us, so no frustration on my part. Though I wasn't feeling any attraction for my ex-wife when I met her either, and she turned out to be the best lover I've had so far... haha!

LOL hell yes. Go get them single women. Your gonna find, there is just a lot less baggage and hassle to deal with.

Well don't get your hopes up too quickly. I still prefer single moms for the same reasons as always. I am open to dating childless women too. This is just pratice anyways. But if one comes along that has those same qualities I'm looking for, I won't Next her just because she doesn't have kids. I've yet to meet one though...