abcd_z
Senior Don Juan
I was at the mall hanging out with my brother (well, pushing him into sets, really), when a friend (acquaintance?) I've talked to several times at one of the kiosks pulls me aside and gives me the number of a chick he thinks I'd be interested in. Apparently there was a nasty breakup or something, so I had to promise not to tell her he was involved. That made it a bit difficult to get her interested without setting off any alarms bells in her head, but it helps that my lack of attention to details is legendary.
"Who gave you this number?"
"Damned if I know. Some guy at the mall. He had brown hair, I think?"
Anyhow, I texted her about lighthearted stuff (bread pudding is awesome, I got pants for my birthday, there's a rabbit on the moon pounding mochi (it made sense in context, I swear)), mixed with her qualifying herself to me.
Her: "So do you want to meet up?
Me: "Maybe. Why don't you tell me a little more about yourself first."
Her: qualifying like hell
Then we got to talking on the phone, me being playful and teasing and talkative, and eventually established that yes, she has a high sex drive, and yes, she would like to come over.
In-person:
Me: "You know, you're better-looking than your Myspace photos."
Her: "I get that a lot."
Me: "Oh, really? In that case, you're a troll. Get away from me." (Said extremely playfully)
Her: *playfully starts moving away*
Me: "Oh, get back here!" *grabs her*
We get back to my place and...well, it got problematic. She enjoys "being a mystery" or a "tease", even though we both know she's coming over to get sexed. So, she wouldn't give me any indicators that she was interested beyond not pulling away. That should have been enough for any decently-calibrated PUA to escalate on, and in fact it wouldn't have been a problem, except it's been...what, 1.5? 2 years? Since I've been getting sex on a regular basis. The last time was detailed in "LR-: She says I'm too big", and that was both unsatisfying and a one-time thing.
So I'm feeling extremely uncomfortable about escalating without any positive feedback. Being pretty much out of options at this point, I verbalize the situation. She asks if I want her to leave, and I tell her that no, I enjoy her company even when you remove sex from the equation.
Looking back, that sounds like it would be a one-way street to LJBF-land, but oddly enough it wasn't. Huh.
Anyhow, we alternate two modes. The first is playfully poking each other and other silly stuff:
Me: I've been belly-button-raped! I feel so violated!
Me: Hey, stop staring at my ass! I hate it when women treat me like a sausage with feet.
Her: Hey, you can't say that! You're the one who wanted me to come over!
Me: Yes I can, it's called a double-standard. Now stop staring at my ass!
For the record, she was cracking up most of the time we were like this.
The other mode was making out and physically escalating from there, and each time we got back to that, I was more comfortable with going further, and I noticed more of a response from her each time.
She'd been periodically checking her phone, and at one point she takes upwards of 15 minutes to do something that's "really important".
So I turn the lights off, take my pants off (For some reason she mentioned my underwear. So I showed her. Over her very loud objections. Like I told her, it's my house, I'll do what I want.)
She finally finished on the phone, and we escalate to the point where she lets me undo her belt and finger her. This is where I screwed up.
"Could you help me [take your pants off]? I can't do this without your help."
"Actually, you can."
*pause, goes for the pants*
"Not what I meant."
Turns out her ex is in jail, and she's emotional about that. That's what the phone thing was about. Crap.
Her: "Coming over here wasn't a mistake" and "you didn't waste my time."
Note that I didn't ask (or even care about) either of those issues. I guess she was trying to reassure me, though I'm not sure why.
So, I tell her I could either help her forget the old-fashioned way, by continuing what we were doing, or she could pull her pants up and her shirt down and we could just talk. Not about what she's going through, just talk in general.
Here's where I make my second mistake. I tell her that either way, she's not leaving. She catches that and I hastily backtrack, telling her that she's got every right to leave if she chooses, but I was hoping she'd stay the night.
I know, I know. Weak.
She tells me she can't, she leaves, and that's about it.
Oh yeah, and the next day I get a text from her saying we shouldn't talk any more.
:/
"Who gave you this number?"
"Damned if I know. Some guy at the mall. He had brown hair, I think?"
Anyhow, I texted her about lighthearted stuff (bread pudding is awesome, I got pants for my birthday, there's a rabbit on the moon pounding mochi (it made sense in context, I swear)), mixed with her qualifying herself to me.
Her: "So do you want to meet up?
Me: "Maybe. Why don't you tell me a little more about yourself first."
Her: qualifying like hell
Then we got to talking on the phone, me being playful and teasing and talkative, and eventually established that yes, she has a high sex drive, and yes, she would like to come over.
In-person:
Me: "You know, you're better-looking than your Myspace photos."
Her: "I get that a lot."
Me: "Oh, really? In that case, you're a troll. Get away from me." (Said extremely playfully)
Her: *playfully starts moving away*
Me: "Oh, get back here!" *grabs her*
We get back to my place and...well, it got problematic. She enjoys "being a mystery" or a "tease", even though we both know she's coming over to get sexed. So, she wouldn't give me any indicators that she was interested beyond not pulling away. That should have been enough for any decently-calibrated PUA to escalate on, and in fact it wouldn't have been a problem, except it's been...what, 1.5? 2 years? Since I've been getting sex on a regular basis. The last time was detailed in "LR-: She says I'm too big", and that was both unsatisfying and a one-time thing.
So I'm feeling extremely uncomfortable about escalating without any positive feedback. Being pretty much out of options at this point, I verbalize the situation. She asks if I want her to leave, and I tell her that no, I enjoy her company even when you remove sex from the equation.
Looking back, that sounds like it would be a one-way street to LJBF-land, but oddly enough it wasn't. Huh.
Anyhow, we alternate two modes. The first is playfully poking each other and other silly stuff:
Me: I've been belly-button-raped! I feel so violated!
Me: Hey, stop staring at my ass! I hate it when women treat me like a sausage with feet.
Her: Hey, you can't say that! You're the one who wanted me to come over!
Me: Yes I can, it's called a double-standard. Now stop staring at my ass!
For the record, she was cracking up most of the time we were like this.
The other mode was making out and physically escalating from there, and each time we got back to that, I was more comfortable with going further, and I noticed more of a response from her each time.
She'd been periodically checking her phone, and at one point she takes upwards of 15 minutes to do something that's "really important".
So I turn the lights off, take my pants off (For some reason she mentioned my underwear. So I showed her. Over her very loud objections. Like I told her, it's my house, I'll do what I want.)
She finally finished on the phone, and we escalate to the point where she lets me undo her belt and finger her. This is where I screwed up.
"Could you help me [take your pants off]? I can't do this without your help."
"Actually, you can."
*pause, goes for the pants*
"Not what I meant."
Turns out her ex is in jail, and she's emotional about that. That's what the phone thing was about. Crap.
Her: "Coming over here wasn't a mistake" and "you didn't waste my time."
Note that I didn't ask (or even care about) either of those issues. I guess she was trying to reassure me, though I'm not sure why.
So, I tell her I could either help her forget the old-fashioned way, by continuing what we were doing, or she could pull her pants up and her shirt down and we could just talk. Not about what she's going through, just talk in general.
Here's where I make my second mistake. I tell her that either way, she's not leaving. She catches that and I hastily backtrack, telling her that she's got every right to leave if she chooses, but I was hoping she'd stay the night.
I know, I know. Weak.
She tells me she can't, she leaves, and that's about it.
Oh yeah, and the next day I get a text from her saying we shouldn't talk any more.
:/
